stbexh threatens to take DCs abroad

[sandwell]

We're living together at the moment, but I'm moving out in 4 weeks time.

I instigated the divorce against his wishes, and he keeps saying things like, what would you do if you came home and the kids were gone?

Or what would you do if I took the kids to x country where they can't be extradited back to the UK? Then laughs and says, well you can stop all of that by getting back with me.

He says it's a joke and just laughs, but I'm worried sick what will happen in the future when the DCs are at his house, am I overthinking this?

Someone who knows more will probably be along soon, but if your DC have passports, make sure that you have them in your possession and ring the passport office to let them know that there is a chance your STBXH might apply for a new one for them.

Get the kids passports and keep them somewhere he can't get to like a relatives house.

Keep the passports somewhere safe or ask a friend to keep them. Take advice from a social worker or a solicitor. I assume he has contacts abroad so better safe than sorry, even if that ends up the children as wards of the court, He would be arrested

You need to get legal advice! Make sure that you have their passports and refuse contact, let him take you to court. He has threatened to abscond with your children so don't let him anywhere near them. I would also contact the police and social services and ask where you stand.

Op I’m so sorry. I had a this.

1. Keep the passports on you.
2. Reunite.org - call them. I did and they were helpful with the threat. They are also very discrete.

My ex now says of course he wasn’t going to do anything - but then why threaten it.

get the passports and get legal advice

If your dp is either a foriegn National or has strong family contacts somewhere it’s imprtant as different countries have different rules and views.

Get advice asap

If I keep the passports, can he take the kids on a ferry or coach out of the country without a passport?

How did he find out you spoke to reunite howrude? I don't want him to find out I've sought help and advice.

We're white English with British passports howrude

Sandwell I think he could take them to Ireland but not Europe, though you might want to double check that. As he's not a foreign national he'd have a hard time being allowed to stay in another country with them legally.

Get their passports out of your home - poss put them in a bank so your StBXH can't trick a friend/relative's name out of you. Yes to contacting Reunite for advice - and howrude's XP didn't find about it.

I suspect Reunite will recommend contacting the passport office just in case your STBXH does try to get new ones. It would be also useful to record him discreetly on your Iphone if you can get him making these threats. When it comes to settling access it could be useful?

I suspect he's only saying this to make you worry, and he's succeeded. But you know him better than anyone on MN. For instance, can he afford to take them out of the country and would he find work abroad? does he have family support outside the UK?

he could take them to Ireland.
Where is he from?
Get passports and hide them.

oh Brit, you said, sorry.

Realistically could he support them and work in this 'foreign country'?

My ex was full of this kind of shit but when it came down to it he couldn't be bothered with them.

Even on a ferry/coach to another country you have to go through passport control. They are not just produced at airports.

You need to remove them from the house, as others have advised and contact the passport agency for advice.

Get legal advice, I got a prohibited steps order when I got divorced as ex was likely to pull just this kind of shit.

You can put an alert on them I believe. You need legal advice and fast.

A big yes to a prohibitive steps order!

@Sandwell....

1. Make appt to see a solicitor quickly for advice and immediate re: alert regarding DC leaving country

2. Leave children’s passports with your solicitor for safekeeping

3. Don’t speak about this with anyone in RL other than your solicitor

You say you are moving out - are the children moving out with you or he is going to be resident parent?

In your situation, I'd rent a PO box or post them to a friend who doesn't live nearby. Or to your work.
How old are the DC?

You can take children to UK from Ireland without a passport (and vice versa as far I am aware).

Get legal advice, pronto. If the children have passports get them into your control immediately.

Contact their schools and say that any removal of the children without your authorisation should be stopped and you informed immediately.

Also consider if he could have applied for second citizenship passports with your (forged) signature if he's got a different citizenship and can confer that to your DC by birth.

As an aside this is why UK government has rules regarding permission by both parents to take DC out of country irrespective of same/different surnames (as do most other countries governing incoming DC). Much complaining on MN about this but they exist for exactly this reason and IMHO should be applied much more strictly.

Sandwell I'm so sorry you are being subjected to threats like this