...to ask if you'd be happy if your kids chose the same career as you?

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

And if so, what do you do? I've been thinking about this since a conversation between friends who are lawyers, doctors and teachers. My friends all said that they wouldn't want their kids to do the same career they do... all said they felt some combination of over-worked, underpaid, under appreciated, clobbered by office politics, in an environment unfriendly to women or families etc. And that got me thinking about my parents who didn't want me to do similar jobs to them either - both worked in government jobs and thought the private sector was better.

So who does think that their job is good enough for their kids? Anyone?!

I kind of ended up doing The same as my Mum . She was an EA in reception school. She was a hairdresser before children and giving up work until both myself and younger brother went to school.
I was a dental nurse before giving up work for my boys. When they were both at school I have ended up working with young children, either as a crèche worker or helping out in playgroups. I don’t think either of my boys will follow in my footsteps.
However I think ds1 will follow dh footsteps and become some form of engineering.
Ds2 wants to work at an airport ( but behind the scenes somewhere!).

No. No no no no. Teacher.

I'm hoping they go down the STEM route. Dh is an engineer- the money is good, hours reasonable, culture seems ok.

One thing that irritates me as my DC's Dad messes about at school, so he did stuff later in life to secure a career. Now he's pretty much insistent if not militant about our DC not doing the same as him. I was the opposite, but had siblings who were like ex H.

It's coming up to exam time, if I had a £ for every time I've said, I'll be proud no matter how you do. I get it's about best interests, but I want my DC to have a childhood where they feel no pressure. I think I mentioned to them many famous people and rich people, didn't achieve what they did immediately, lots were various ages.

Whether they decide to be litter pickers or top surgeons, as long as they're happy, that's all that matters.

I know part of the school gate malarkey, it's about status, from what group your DC is in to their talents. I was lucky to have read when PFB was a baby, no two children are the same, you can't compare. So whereas their milestones meant a lot to me, I wasn't worried as long as they achieved the milestones.

I don't know why, but being a manager was a coveted thing, I achieved management status, hated it, changed career.

So happiness is the benchmark. Success comes in a variety of disguises.

I'd absolutely love my kids to do what I do. It pays exceptionally well, lots of travel, 5-star hotels, first class flights, academically engaging, fits well round a family, you get to meet lots of bright and engaging people (as well as many assholes), and it would give us lots to talk about.

Kind of. I doubt very much that she would even want to do what I do now (admin/working with vulnerable children) but I was previously Army. I'd support her if she wanted to join the Forces, but would actually try to push her towards the Navy/RAF instead of the Army as I believe they treat women better.

Whatever she chooses to do I'd like her to use her maths/science brain. She has so much to offer, but doesn't have the confidence to go for it yet.

Am intrigued - would love to know what you do, @TeeBee .

If either of my boys wanted to do what I do, I'd support them wholeheartedly but with cautions. I'm an anaesthetist and even 20 years after qualifying (with a reasonable salary) I am still working nights, weekends, 24h shifts with little sleep, all of which play havoc with family life. I am also at risk of suicide, burnout, divorce and alcoholism at much higher rates than the general population.

DS1 isn't keen on any form of career in medicine because he can't cope with the thought of "cutting into living people". DS2 would rather be a rock drummer currently (not unachievable for him I think) - he would be OK with a career in medicine but I suspect he's too lazy to work for it. (Then again, so was I and I managed).

DH worked for GCHQ before we got together, it's something I think both boys would find interesting.

Middle-range bullshit type corporate job. Yeah I'd be happy enough for dc to do something similar. As an ex teacher I'd put them off that at all costs though.

As a teacher( not in UK) l was fully encouraging my dc to choose that career as l have loved it all my life and it has been a great family friendly job. They had no interest and are all in completely different fields. My dh was in a medical field..now retired and probably went too far in discouraging them from following that path as he found it very stressful.
Lots of my teacher friends have dc teaching , some with more than one.
Two of my friends ..one a nurse..one a social worker are adamant their dc are not going that route. They even try to turn our children off and anyone else who will listen as very disillusioned.

Yeah I think so. My first DC is still in the making but it think I would be happy for him or her to do what I (developer) or DP (designer) do. Pay ranges from decent to amazing and my work is flexible - DPs less so because of where he works.

I'd be perfectly happy if he wanted to (i'm a SALT) but I don't think it would suit him and he denies any interest. I am hoping to make it really really easy for him to become an engineer as I believe he'd always be interested and able to earn a good living with that career, but I will be lucky if he stays healthy (family illness hanging over his head).

I'm a doctor and on reflection, probably not. Shifts are difficult, sometimes you just can't get time off (I can only take two days annual leave in the whole summer holidays this year due to staff shortages), sometimes you work Christmas. Considering the education and grades you require the money isn't great (my bil accountant earns three times what I do, despite training half the time at a Less prestigious university). You often end up staying late. You have multiple exams to do which you have to pay for. Often they make study expenses so difficult to claim back that you end up finding yourself. The responsibility is overwhelming at times. In training you change jobs every six months which is hugely unsettling and often requires a massive commute (for one job I will have a for hour round trip).
It makes me sad because I love the bones of my job, the actual doctoring part......but the rest is just so difficult!

I’d be more than happy for my DD to do same job as my DH - he’s in construction, legal side of things and has done very very well considering his career only started 5 years ago.

I don’t know if I’d recommend a science degree to her (what I did) as I couldn’t get an entry level job anywhere and now my qualifications are probably out of date . It sucks

DH and I are both teachers. I'd be more that happy for DS to do that, however, I would strongly encourage him to work in the Independent sector as DH does. The perks are good, there isn't the ridiculous pressure and micromanagement and the holidays are loooong.

I'm an SEN teacher and love it. It's definitely not horrible in all the ways mainstream classroom teaching has become. However, I'm not sure that would be DS's bag.

@TeeBee What do you do? I think I want to do your job too! Sounds amazing!

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil
Inadequate funding and sky high patient expectations mainly. The pay is ok but given the length of undergraduate and postgraduate training there are better options in this respect. At least I trained before university fees. I’d never advise anyone to do medicine for all sorts of reasons but qualifying with £50-60k debt sort of puts you in a trap right at the start.
Since the early 2000s constant doctor-bashing in the media has contributed to the demoralisation of the whole profession, this compounded by the current government running down the NHS by starving it of funds. The same government stokes expectations such that they expect us to provide a 5 star service in a shoe string.
As a GP patients wait 4 weeks to see me as we have no appointments. (Lack of GPs- can’t recruit) They then understandably have a list of problems they want to discuss in 10 minutes! I pay £900 a month in indemnity in case someone sued me for unsafe practice!
It’s totally shit.

Have strongly advised dd against following my footsteps and am gently guiding her towards STEM subjects, which I started but to my eternal regret dropped out of.
I also strongly advise any school children on work experience to rethink their options when we have them in work.
Interesting that someone up-post recommended construction management as I know several people who did that- all seem to have very good careers and very varied options too post grad.

I’d be happy if they were happy.

I'm a lawyer, recently made partner in a City law firm (insurance panel work not megabucks).
Not sure I'd want my children to follow me into law. I love it but it's so much harder and more competitive at entrance level now. I do a lot of the recruitment of our new trainees and the quality of the applicants is so high these days it's shocking. I didn't do amazingly at school and if i was setting out on a career now i don't think I'd have a chance. Apparently there is one training contract for every 10 applicants. When i was applying it was one for two applicants (and that seemed pretty daunting at the time!)

My son is clever but not academic or focused. Law is definitely not for him.
My daughter much more academic/ focused so but she's only little so its too soon to tell what she'd might do. I would only strongly encourage law for "top of the class" candidates.

Medical communications. Love my job.

As PP has said, I’m a doctor and would be so upset for DD if she chose this route. Thankless and unimaginably stressful job.

Congratulations on making partner @honeylulu. I'm a senior associate at a silver circle firm having trained at a magic circle firm and I can't believe the CVs I see for vacation schemes and training contracts. There's no way I'd have got a MC training contract these days. Agree that I would only recommend law to my kids if they turn out to be very academic and focused.

Nothing more beautiful than bringing new life into the world so as long as DC were happy, I'd be happy for them to be midwives although the shifts and general NHS situation isn't good.

DS is following in my footsteps (DH says he is just like me) and I couldn’t be prouder!

I joined the forces from school, I left after DC, I had a wonderful life so yes I'd be happy with that. Joining the police force after not so much, shit pay, treated like shit everyday, nah not for all the tea in China!!

As long as they're happy I don't mind what they do. Both my parents are well-paid professionals and I work in retail management (earning a LOT less than they did) but I have a much better work/life balance as I'm lucky enough to work for a company which values it's employees. I get a generous holiday package, decent pay for bank holidays and overtime and guaranteed days off each week.

Happiness and a good lifestyle (as in, a good amount of time off) is more important to me than large amounts of money. So long as all the bills are paid and nobody is worrying about where their next meal is coming from, that's what's important.