I split up with my ex last year - we have 2 children - DS is 8 and DD is 4. Quite shortly after we split I met an amazing man, we fell in love and I moved in with him with the children very quickly. Quite frankly he is everything my ex wasnt and is amazing with my children. Back story briefly - was with ex for 9 years, he was a bully and cheated on me left right and centre - even when I was 6 months pregnant with DD! He had 'his money ' and everything I earned paid for our home - running costs were about £3k per month and he gave me £600 and threatened to reduce that if I forgot something on his shopping list that I may add was never given to me and was just shit he thought of getting.
After moving in with my new partner I tried to make formal arrangements with my ex on days/weekend he had our children and suggested every Wednesday and every weekend. He then made various threats towards me stating he would 'destroy my life' if I didn't agree to him having them every Friday as an addition. The threats were surrounding my now closed childcare business and that he would make false allegations to the police knowing I would most likely end up in trouble anyway even with no evidence - childminder and worked alone - and this was in attempt to make me lose custody of our children. I had no issue with the proposed days etc so agreed to it - not just to get him off my back but figured it was good for the children.
Since then he has now tried to reduce down days he has them - using the excuse he has to work - he is self employed So can choose his own hours. So on fridays in particular when he was supposed to have them I have had them and seen quite obviously he has used that night to have a night out - as I have seen him driving to work at lunchtime on the saturday when I have had them the night before and even on the Saturdays so he can 'work' (lie in bed probably still shit faced) I have been dropping the children at his mum's.
He pays me a measly £200 a month in maintenance for 2 of them. That barely covers a quarter of our childcare bill. He claims each month he cannot afford to pay me and always pays late yet goes on full on all day benders and has just booked his 4th holiday this year.
The final straw has been that tonight I have asked him if he can have the children in a couple of weeks for the entire weekend he is due to have them as it's my birthday and we are going away.
As a result he has said he is taking me to court and stopping/reducing child maintenance and quote - he said it was because it's obvious now he will never have me back in his life. So really this all seems like a way to mess with my life and indeed my relationship with my new partner.
Seriously I've had enough.
So ladies, would you a) continue being a total mug, bending over backwards with the childcare arrangement and being threatened with the measly child maintenance every time you dare to ask him to see his children or b) just take him to court, get a formal arrangement in place for access and maintenance.
(Or c) would someone like to give him a few stern words!)
Over to you!