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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get guinea pigs even if dd2 doesn't want them?

77 replies

Dancergirl · 15/05/2018 11:26

Youngest dd (11) is a real animal lover. We have a cat and she would love other pets. Ideally she'd love a dog but for various reasons it's too big a commitment at the moment.

We have nearly agreed that dd can get a pair of guinea pigs which she is very excited about (as am I, I really like animals too).

However dd2 (15) is really against any more pets. She's just not interested in animals and I respect that. She doesn't like the cat but they keep out of each other's way. The guinea pigs will be even more out of her way as they will either be in the spare bedroom or in a secure run in the garden. Dd2 won't have to interact with them at all.

Little dd is probably on the autistic spectrum, we are getting her assessed at the moment. Apart from being cute pets, I think the GPs will help relax her and keep her calm.

How do I keep everyone happy??

OP posts:
qwertyuiopy · 15/05/2018 11:28

Are you saying the one who doesn't like animals won't be happy if you get them? Even though they will be nothing to do with her and out of her way?

You want guinea pigs, get guinea pigs. You are the parent.

ThatchersCold · 15/05/2018 11:30

Umm get the Guinea pigs and tell dd1 to deal with it? Not sure how her sister having Guinea pigs will affect her? As long as you’re not expecting her to clean them out or anything.

steff13 · 15/05/2018 11:30

If she's not going to be expected to clean up after them, etc., then it's nothing to do with her, really. I'd get them. I mean, I wouldn't, because I'm allergic, but I think you should.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 15/05/2018 11:30

Yes that's right qwerty But I'm just trying to consider her feelings too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancergirl · 15/05/2018 11:31

No she won't have to clean them out or do anything for them. But she's kicking up a fuss, think she just wants to be heard!

OP posts:
Bridesmaidinchief · 15/05/2018 11:34

As long as she doesn't ever have to deal with them I think she'll just need to get on with it. Is the issue that she feels a bit jealous or left out because her sister is getting this big thing that she wants? If so maybe you could get her something she wants at the same time so she also feels like she's being considered?

qwertyuiopy · 15/05/2018 11:34

Yes that's right qwerty But I'm just trying to consider her feelings too.

Get her something she would like if the guinea pigs are not a birthday gift or whatever. But the decision t actually get them is not a 15 year olds to make. Chances are she will have left home when they are only 3!

FASH84 · 15/05/2018 11:39

It's nothing to do with DD1 you're not asking her to be involved with the guinea pigs at all, it's not like you're getting a dog and it will be all over the house and she's frightened of dogs for example. Is she jealous of her little sister? Maybe this isn't about guinea pigs per se.

Pancakeflipper · 15/05/2018 11:43

As long as animal not-lover won't harm them Is get them. But get them for you cos you'll be looking after them.. My youngest has aspergers. We have a cat who he adores and we have guinea pigs. He finds striking them comforting and he laughs when they are mischievous. Ours live in the kitchen/diner and he sees them constantly. They are lovely pets .

Original poster
Dancergirl · 15/05/2018 11:44

I think you might be right fash. The two of them do clash quite a bit and the issues surrounding dd1's possible autism diagnosis are getting dd2's back up.

However dd2 does have her own issues and is seeing a counsellor.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 15/05/2018 11:46

Unless she has a good reason - allergy, existing pets being neglected - tell her to pipe down.

havanagilahava · 15/05/2018 11:59

How is having 2 guinea pigs in a cage in the garden going to affect her in any way?

She's just being selfish, and your dd2 shouldn't have to suffer for it.

It's not like you're getting a German shepherd.

WhateverHappenedToMe · 15/05/2018 12:24

Perhaps she's feeling that the guinea pigs will impinge on the time you have available for her? Assuming DD2 won't be able to care for the animals, how much time will you be spending on the animals (which DD1 may see as spending time on things to make DD2 happy)?

Storminateapot · 15/05/2018 12:30

It does sound as if she might be a bit jealous of the attention her sister is getting and that she is getting pets when she isn't getting anything.

Teenagers can be horribly self-absorbed ime,

blueskyinmarch · 15/05/2018 12:31

Guinea pigs don't take a lot of time to care for at all and are very easy pets. We got them for DD2 when she was around age 11 and DD1, then age 16 pretty much had nothing to do with them. It was never an issue.

CloudCaptain · 15/05/2018 12:32

It's a strange thing for her to get worked up about. Is she after your attention? Does dd2 take a lot more of your time?
Guinea pigs are very easy pets and lovely to handle.

MrsJayy · 15/05/2018 12:36

Her feelings in this don't matter really your Dd might be getting new pets which is none of your other Dds business really.

PeggySchuylar · 15/05/2018 12:36

Rats are great and dont live as long as gps. But gp squeaks are very cute.

Mises point of thread.

Just go for it OP. I say to my teens "This is not a democracy. It's a (mostly) benign dictatorship. I try to take your views into account but in the end it's my decision." Wink

sweeneytoddsrazor · 15/05/2018 12:37

I too suspect that it is more jealousy of her little sister. Maybe she feels you spend more time with DD2 let her have more of what she wants? Perhaps a 1 on 1 day with DD1 getting her something she would like might help

ilovesooty · 15/05/2018 12:37

Nothing to do with her if they're not directly in her space. I really think she ought to understand this isn't her decision to implement.

pigeondujour · 15/05/2018 12:47

I think pets should be wanted by whole households. It just seems so unlikely that she'll never ever be asked to do anything relating to them, and I would absolutely hate to have to do anything involving a guinea pig in any way, so I'm on her side here.

Aylarose · 15/05/2018 12:54

If she doesn't have to feed or clean up after the guinea pigs then I don't see the problem.

Discuss it with her though and say that she won't have to be involved. Perhaps you buy guinea pigs is seen as you preferring your youngest or putting her first and that's why DD2 is so against it? It's worth discussing it with her and maybe you could get her a small gift to show her she's loved at the same time. I know pets aren't really 'gifts' but she might well see it like that.

Aylarose · 15/05/2018 12:54
  • buying, not buy
TheFairyCaravan · 15/05/2018 12:55

I honestly can’t believe you are worrying about what DD2 is thinking about the Guinea Pigs. Unless you are expecting her to buy them, clean them out and feed them it’s quite frankly none of her business.

We’ve got 2 Guineas they are such lovely pets. They do have a lovely calming effect on me. One of mine fell asleep on my lap last night. Your little DD will love them.

essietopcoat · 15/05/2018 12:57

GPs are hard work, they tend to stink the house out if kept inside (ie in winter) and are not necessarily friendly.

I know they are very cute but...