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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no?

12 replies

Opalfroot · 15/05/2018 07:52

ExH usually has kids on weekend. He's going fishing so asked a few days ago if he could swap his nights from Fri and Sat to Tuesday and Wed. No problem, I said yes.

Because of this I booked tickets for the cinema tonight and told my gf we would go for lunch.

ExH messages last night asking to change nights to Wed and Thur as he needs to finish a job he started yesterday.
He says he will reimburse me for cinema tickets.

AIBU to just say no? I haven't told my GF yet, she's going to be pissed off, she's looking forwards to our date.

OP posts:
Original poster
Opalfroot · 15/05/2018 08:06

Or should I just suck it up so he can finish his job?

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 15/05/2018 08:07

Just say no that won't work for me.
You've changed your plans for him once and you don't have to do it again.

Handsfull13 · 15/05/2018 08:09

Posted to soon. I take it this isn't a job for work job it's just a job in his home. If he knew he wouldn't get it done in one night he shouldn't have started.
He hasn't given you enough notice to adjust your plans so you can say no.

Pfftlife · 15/05/2018 08:12

He said it's for work and he's willing to pay you the money for the tickets, I think that's reasonable. I wouldn't be saying no to that. It sounds like you get plenty of nights without the kids anyway so your girlfriend will survive

MissStegosaurus · 15/05/2018 08:13

Id say no you have plans now.

Pengggwn · 15/05/2018 08:16

No, I would tell him he needs to make other arrangements now.

Original poster
Opalfroot · 15/05/2018 08:16

We do have weekends alone together but we are also perpetually skint and never go out.

I could wait. But TBH he does this all the bloody time and is so unreliable that part of me just wants to say no because he assumes I will ALWAYS say yes

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 15/05/2018 08:19

No, OP, that sounds as though he is very casual about changing arrangements on you and expecting you to shift around that. Tell him to take responsibility- he asked for the kids tonight, he's got them.

emmyrose2000 · 15/05/2018 08:21

No, I wouldn't change my plans - again. It's up to exH to make other arrangements.

wildgarlicflowers · 15/05/2018 08:22

If he is usually reliable I would agree, if he is mostly unreliable I would say no.

FASH84 · 15/05/2018 12:30

If he has to work can't his parents have some grandchild time? If this was rare I'd say yes but if he does it all the time I'd say no

Original poster
Opalfroot · 15/05/2018 19:42

No, NC with his Dad and mum doesn't live anywhere near.

I swapped with him again. He owes me big time.

OP posts:
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