‘You’d be a shit mother’

[TheParisofPeople]

Ok so maybe I’m reading too much into this, or just in plain denial, but I brought up the fact that I was feeling broody with my mum recently and she kind of shut me down with those words. I get where she’s coming from, I have BPD and am not the most stable of people, but I know loads of folks in the MH services who’ve made amazing parents, and I wasn’t even suggesting I was going to do it, just saying my bio-clock was starting to tick is all. I’m not the best person in the world but I’m definitely not the worst. To be told ‘you’ll never be able to take care of yourself let alone anyone else’ when I’m trying so hard to live a normal life felt like a complete kick in the teeth. Now feel like having a row with her. AIBU.

What a horrible thing to say. People with BPD can be parents. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2015, and have 2 ds'.

Well mom with you as my example I can hardly get worse

I wouldn't bother with a row with your mum. Just go and do your own thing, including having a baby if that's the way you want your life to go.

My mum was less than supportive when I had babies. Hey ho. I don't care. She came round and the DDs were loved by all.

That's an unforgivable thing to say.

That is a horrible thing to say. I hope you said 'well I'd only be emulating you.'

When people point the finger, they have three pointing back at themselves 👈🏻

Remember that OP

Oh the irony that BPD stems from childhood abuse and your delightful mother's comment made you feel like shite.

Pay no attention to what she says. All that matters is what you think. There are no perfect mothers. They don't exist.

Well mom with you as my example I can hardly get worse

Great answer.
Sorry OP that's really awful to hear from your own mother. Is she always so hurtful?

Sorry can I ask is BPD bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder? Not nice on your Mothers part

Your mother is an unkind person. She'd be a shit granny.

Funnily enough parenthood changes most people and challenges the selfishness (MH issues or no MH issues) of most women.

Sadly in your mothers case that probably didn't happen.

You'd likely be fine.

Mean of her.

I wouldn't bother with the row though. If she can't understand you and be nice before a row, I don't think she's capable of it during or after