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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

re lies in court?

3 replies

LeonieChi · 14/05/2018 21:22

I'm not sure where to post this so using AIBU for traffic. Apologies if there's a dedicated topic for this.

Name changed as quite outing.

Been with DH for 4 years. He has an 8 year old son from previous relationship. He's going to court re child arrangements as his ex chops and changes, and often disappears without notice. He is left outside waiting to pick up his DS to have to leave as they aren't there. It's really sad. It hurts him a lot.

He's gone to court re this as he has no choice left. Mediation impossible as she wouldn't even respond to the letter. His solicitor is now involved and has emailed her. She has also seen a solicitor who had responded. I won't say what with or give the details, however she has told A LOT of lies. Thing is, these lies are about very specific things that she has done, however she has stated that DH is the one who did these things. Problem for her... DH has a lot of texts and emails that completely discredit everything she has said in this letter.

I am NOT involved hugely in this court battle and am here (with consent of my husband) asking for advice. DH only wants to see his son, has not got a volatile personality and is genuinely facing an ex partner who uses his child as a weapon. I knew him (am not the other woman btw) for years and am absolutely sure he has never been abusive etc or given reason for her to act this way.

AIBU to expect her lies to be taken in to account by the court? If he has messages to prove she is lying, they surely won't believe her?

I understand entirely that what is best for his DS is the only thing that matters to the court, and so it should be. DH just wants this to be over as is scared this is going to end badly.

Any advice? Never been to court before, I'm not attending as it's not my place but looking to support DH. Please only constructive answers, not looking to be told I shouldn't be involved or that mums feelings are most important not dads etc...

OP posts:
Jamiefraserskilt · 14/05/2018 21:31

The solicitor needs to see the texts. He can then use them to negotiate. Best done between solicitors. Last chance saloon is when the judge sees them. He must protect his position and think, would she use them if positions were reversed?
If he wants to win this, he must do whatever is needed to get a stable arrangement in place for his dc.

lhastingsmua · 14/05/2018 21:35

Your solicitor is honestly the best person to advise you. They will plan the best way forwards. Don’t engage with her at all - only speak via your solicitors.

Honestly once her solicitor gets wind that her statement is filled with lies that cam easily be disproven via the texts etc, they will advise her to remove all the lies by the time this gets to court. In fact, because of this you may hold a bit of favour/bargaining power

LeonieChi · 14/05/2018 21:57

Thank you both.

DH isn't out to make her look like a bad person. He actually feels a little sorry for her. He just wants this over with and wants to know that her lies will not stand. He's also worried she will tell lies on the day of the hearing and he won't have any evidence there to disprove. At the end of the day he has told no lies and hasn't done anything that isn't in the best interests of his son!

Really is such a shame Sad

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