Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

What would you do in this situation? 3 year old and car seat

43 replies

TassleGirl · 14/05/2018 07:29

I know I'm not being unreasonable btw but not sure what to do in this situation.

I have been working as a nanny for 6years now. I've looked after kids from newborn to 11 year olds. And in this 6 years the parents always ALWAYS asked me to not to let their kids sleep when we are in the car.

In my current job I look after a 3 year old and a 6 year old. 6 year old goes to private school which means I need to get in the car with the 3 year old and school run takes about 1 hour. Mum always ask me to not let the 3 year old sleep but honestly how?! I'm driving and keep looking in the mirror trying to keep the 3 year old awake. I give her books and even the iPad and put the radio on etc but nothing works.
I'm finding this so stressful! I don't feel safe and I'm so cross. I think when I'm driving I should concentrate on the driving!

A couple of years ago I even had a little bump in my car cause of trying to keep a child I was looking after awake. This cost me £350 to get the other persons car fixed.

I am cross and had enough. Leaving this job at the end of July and changing careers as I have had enough of these idiot parents!
So stupid!

My question is what to do in that 2 1/2 I have left? Just leave the child sleeping?

OP posts:

category12 · 14/05/2018 09:41

The whole point of driving small children is that they'll sleep, isn't it?

CuppaSarah · 14/05/2018 09:44

Just tell them it's not possible to keep her awake safely. Parents often assume nannies are magical child whisperer's who can get children to do anything effortlessly. My most successful nanny friend is the one who is very clear with parents what is or isn't feasible and also gives the parents lots of parenting strategies and support, as the children behave for her but run rings around the parents. She honestly nannies the parents almost as much as the children sometimes, but they seem to really appreciate it. I mean she's drowning in work

RaspberryBeret34 · 14/05/2018 09:47

I think I'd just say brightly (and pointedly) "pretty sure she didn't sleep but obviously I need to make 100% sure all my focus is on the road so I can't check constantly..." and leave it at that. And let her sleep if she sleeps (although sugary snack and carry on with iPod etc sounds a good plan). There was a time I asked my childminder not to GIVE DS a nap but obviously if he fell asleep in the car, I wasn't at all bothered - I didn't expect her to work miracles!

MumofBoysx2 · 14/05/2018 09:53

If the mother is asking you to do two jobs at once (drive and also actively work with the child keeping her awake) then she needs to either appoint two people or ask you to focus on one job or the other!

Finderscrispy · 14/05/2018 10:01

No didn’t manage to keep child awake whilst I was focussing on road. Ask them how they do it.

UrgentScurryfunge · 14/05/2018 10:03

Your priority is safe driving. The inconvenience of a 3 year old up late is not worth the danger of driving without due care and attention. They're hardly going to be sympathetic if serious damage is caused to their child and car just because the child didn't sleep.

Many a time, I've gone for a drive to send the DCs' to sleep because they were tired and ratty and it was worth a later night with a happy child than the day dragging out to bedtime.

It was only at 6 that DS1 didn't sleep on a long journey by default... back seat squabblings have gone up significantly

itsgoodtobehome · 14/05/2018 10:04

Gosh, how ridiculous. Even my 6 year old is quite likely to fall asleep on an hour’s journey. Nothing you can do to stop them. Oh, and I will quite often sleep on a long journey (if I’m not driving of course)

Fitzsimmons · 14/05/2018 10:09

They are being ridiculous of course. However if you're looking for ideas then when I want my toddler to stay awake (for example when driving around tea time and a nap then would interfere with bed time) I give her one of those mini raisin boxes. Takes her ages to get each one out and it keeps her awake doing so.

MrsKoala · 14/05/2018 10:13

Tell mum and dad to let them sleep later in the morning

Nothing ever makes me literally laugh out loud, but this did.

It also raised guffaw here!

mavismcruet · 14/05/2018 10:15

Personally I’d prefer my kid to snooze rather than being fed sugary snacks whilst watching an iPad. That would have a worse fallout later in the day with my 3 year old than a sleep.
Be straight with your boss, tell her it’s impossible to do unless someone is sitting in the back with them constantly rousing them. Ask her how she manages to do it (£100 says she doesn’t!)

GabsAlot · 14/05/2018 10:19

youve already had an accident trying to keep the kid awake just let them sleep its not worth the hassle

fuzzyfozzy · 14/05/2018 10:25

Ask Mum how she keeps her awake, follow her advice (it won't work) and then say she had five mins as we got home.

ppeatfruit · 14/05/2018 10:35

As an ex nanny\CM I used to LOVE having my mindees sleep after lunch In the car or indoors, I needed a bit of me time, also time to get their supper ready etc.

I didn't take any notice of the instructions tbh It's better to have a happy child who's up a bit later than a misery who's been kept awake IMO and E.

WellTidy · 14/05/2018 10:39

When DS was 3yo, if he slept in the car, he would be still awake at 10pm (normal bedtime was 7pm). So he would be harder to wake the next morning for the school run, grumpy for some of the day, unwilling to co-operate and basically overtired. And if he then slept during the day in the car, we would be in the same cycle all over again.

So I understand the parents asking that the child doesn't nap in the car. Obviously it is easier said than done. Eating or drinking something is a good suggestion, especially something that requires sucking or chewing (lasts longer!) but I know that some people worry about the danger of choking (much more serious than falling asleep).

Have you asked what the parents do when they are doing the school run?

How about you set off on the school run much earlier than necessary and stop somewhere on the way? Is there a park or a coffee shop or somewhere to walk or play en route? Less chance of falling asleep and any nap would be shorter.

MrsKoala · 14/05/2018 10:43

I do feel sorry for the parents tho. If mine nap in the car they wont sleep till 11-midnight. My 3 yo slept in the car yesterday and eventually slept at 11.30pm last night and was still bouncing round at 5am - He will now fall asleep on the floor this afternoon and not go to sleep till late again and this will go on for about 5 days till he rights himself. We usually ban car journeys after noon!

But if that's the journey to school, then you can't do anything about it. I wouldn't expect a nanny to be able to do any better with keeping them awake than i can.

Merryoldgoat · 14/05/2018 10:51

Tell mum and dad to let them sleep later in the morning

Nothing ever makes me literally laugh out loud, but this did.

Me too - I’ll remember that going forwards; when my baby gets to that point a lie in is how to solve the issue

Clutterbugsmum · 14/05/2018 11:48

"Me too - I’ll remember that going forwards; when my baby gets to that point a lie in is how to solve the issue" Yes by the time this happens they are teenagers so don't fall asleep in the car anyway .

RedSkyAtNight · 14/05/2018 11:54

Not the point that OP was making I know- but I think this is one problem with making your toddler go on a long school run for older siblings. Even if the toddler doesn't go to sleep, they are spending 2 hours of their day sat in a car. Far from ideal.

Flip

1 2