To be sick of being broke and worrying about the future.

[Donthugmeimscared]

Just that really. I'm a single mum of three (yes I know shouldn't of had them if I can't afford them). I work ft but not for great money so get tax credits. My wages cover rent and bills so we live on 120 a week tax credits and I'm struggling. I swear every week the children grow out of something or need something for school. I can't afford anything else to the point I can't even afford new work clothes. It's just so depressing. I have no savings and I don't know I'm just feeling fed up and worried.

I think what set this off was having to ask my ex for help with school shoes and then getting an ear bashing from his mum about "doesn't he give you enough?"

I guess I just want to know if this gets easier? I'm so sick of living like this

We are currently financially ok (family of 5). However, DH's company haven't given out any bonuses this year; food, holiday & petrol prices are rocketing; and pay is stagnating.
I do not think you are alone, and I think many people feel like you.
YANBU

Yanbu. It's bloody tough

It is bloody hard, don’t give up x yanbu
Just keep trying xx

I can empathise, OP. Fed up of being stuck in a rut and struggling from week to week. I can't really offer any advice, just try and think this is only temporary and things will get better

“(yes I know shouldn't of had them if I can't afford them)”

Not many people can afford to do it all on their own! You don’t need to apologise for having trusted someone who clearly isn’t meeting his responsibilities to his children.

£120 tax credits is very low for three dc , was one child born after April 2017?

Facebook bundle can be great for clothes if your dc are under about ten.
Things will get easier as you will hopefully earn more the longer you work.

Why does this rant not apply equally to ex? Why did HE have children if he didn't want to have to buy school shoes? It's not as if you had the children by yourself and he had nothing to do with it.

Is he the father Of all three kids? Or is there someone else who should be paying?

I don't really understand the maths, if your wages cover rent and bills and you live off the 120 a week tax credits, where does child maintenance come in? Are you getting regular maintenance from their father?

Why does this rant not apply equally to ex

She has not specified which if any kids are his, he could be anything from a kindly ex she taps up for cash, but is father of none, to the father of all three, and anything in between.

Fuck his mother. She's a total bitch for begrudging her own grandkids the support they need.

Same here. I’m seriously considering bankruptcy 😟

I think what set this off was having to ask my ex for help with school shoes and then getting an ear bashing from his mum about "doesn't he give you enough?"

What does he actually give you? Why would she not want her gc to be well-cared for?

I cope but I get extra due to my dc’s being disabled, I don’t know how I would manage without the extra. I am careful with money, I feel guilty when I have to tell dd1 that she can’t have extra money to go shopping with her friend (her friend asks her to go shopping every weekend, there parents seem to be able to afford more than us). I think a lot of people find it hard and it’s seems wrong when you work full time and are doing your best to provide for your family.

So is the father (s) of the children paying maintenance?

Your ex's mum is a stupid cow. Of course what he's paying isn't likely enough to cover fully half of what they cost. Ignore her.

Sorry, OP.

If ex isn't the father of the kids, SOMEONE is. And they should be contributing to the costs of raising the kids.

I presumed that she wouldn't be asking an ex who isn't the father of the kids for money for the kids, especially if he or his family are reluctant to provide it.

I sympathize OP - it's hard. No advice other than to ask if you've checked if you're eligible for housing benefit top up to help pay your rent and to congratulate you for being a responsible parent and raising your children.

I'm with you there op. Keep having to rely on family to help us out with food shops etc is very very depressing. I just keep thinking it won't always be the same... (don't know when it will change though!)
I hope your situation changes for the better

I presumed that she wouldn't be asking an ex who isn't the father of the kids for money for the kids, especially if he or his family are reluctant to provide

That's a fairly big assumption to make, if you need the money you need the money.

I also don't understand why child maintenance isn't mentioned, but it could be anything from deadbeat fathers who are unaware they have kids, a partner has passed away, or this ex is father to none, one or all three. She doesn't say.

Sorry you’re feeling down

It is really hard; I have 2 and have only just got back to work and even with DH, financially speaking it feels like instead of thriving we are just managing to keep afloat.

It’s a horrible feeling to worry about how and when things will change; I focus on the positives and try and list all the things that I will change (like the kids reaching school age so childcare costs go down). And then list the things I have the potential to change (gaining qualifications, earning more, DH doing shift work around my hours to save in childcare) and I usually find ways to feel brighter.

Can you do something similar? Is there anything practical you could iron out to save money or anything on the horizon which will mean a change of circumstances?

It's exhausting.

Me too OP. It's exhausting and depressing. I'm a single parent, working full time with only one DS. My job is stressful and the hours are long, my whole earnings go on functioning - rent, childcare, bills and travel to work. There is nothing left over.

I used to have a tiny bit left over at the end of the month for emergencies or something fun for DS. My rent and a couple of bills all increased in April and now there is nothing left over. I've cut all my bills as far as they can go. In the week before payday I will struggle to find money to put diesel in the car to get to work.

It is soul destroying to get up and work so hard each day and then have to count every single penny with no hope of it getting better anytime in the near future. DS asked if we could go for a picnic on the beach last weekend, I had to say No as I needed to keep the fuel in the car. Even the supposedly free things are now starting to become out of reach.

It is exhausting but things will change eventually. That what I keep telling myself.

Yanbu to be fed up, Whoever said life was suppose to be fun, maybe if money is no object.

I'm sure you're working as hard as you can. I don't have much advice I just hope life gives you a break soon.

Hi just seem these replies. He is the dad of all three and he sporadically gives £200 a month. I don't usually ask him for anything (as he will keep on about it) but was really desperate and thought it wouldn't hurt once seeing as he has no rent etc. I know it will get better but for now it just feels soul destroying.