To be annoyed with DH

[Mummy2JamesNmax]

Love him to bits but getting increasingly frustrated with how he prioritises his hobbies over me and the children.

He’s been doing a lot of cycling lately and today he’s gone on a 70 mile bike ride, left at 7.30am and won’t be back till late afternoon today. Next weekend he is going on a cycling weekend, so is staying away overnight all weekend with his colleagues (All of the others going either have no children or their children are older).

It’s making me really cross and resentful about the fact that he keeps ditching me and the kids to do this. He went on a weekend away last year as well and regularly goes out at weekends and leaves us for hours on end. If he did it when the kids were in school it wouldn’t be so bad but it’s always at the weekend which I feel should be family time.

I’ve tried talking to him about it and told him how I feel but he just doesn’t get it. He simply tells me to get my own hobby and I can have ‘me time’. Just missing the point really as I don’t want ‘me time’ I just want him to choose to spend time with us rather than feel like he’s constantly trying to get away from us. AIBU? I feel like telling him he can’t go at weekends anymore and will have to go in the week during school hours, worried I am going to come across as controlling though.

Can't he take the kids cycling if they're old enough? Even if they're too young, I would be demanding my own time and insisting on him taking the kids for at least one full morning each week.

My dh is cycling this morning I took the kids to football training. He’ll be back mid afternoon and will cook us all a roast well have a big family dinner and games. Yesterday I went out to my thing all morning, we hung out together with the kids in the afternoon and evening.
I think we’d both go mad if we had to spend all weekend all together!!

YANBU. I have just started to pay cricket again after 16 years. Love cricket but it takes up the whole day. Now kids are grown up I am back playing again. Surely as a parent you would jump at the opportunity to spend time with your children at the weekend. They do not stay young forever.

I think one day at the weekend for hobby time is fine, but one day needs to be family time too. It seems a bit drastic to say that your DH "can't" do something, but you need to make it clear that his hobby is making you unhappy so something needs to change.

And do find something for yourself too, DH is a golfer and I'm a walker so we both get time doing things we enjoy and benefit from.