AIBU To despair at "DH's" utter stupidity sometimes.....

[mooglycrunch]

DH can be a bit "woo" and likes to give DS (22 months) his version of "sensory" experiences sometimes (normally involving digging in the ground with bare hands, oooooh let's throw leaves in the air, let's see how far we can splash the water etc) mainly harmless but sometimes ill though out.

He surpassed himself at 6 o'clock this evening though with a "lets do different smells" game. It started with the spice rack and progressed to giving DS a teaspoon of ground coffee to sniff (not Maxwell House, cafetiere strong French roast stuff). DS basically stuffed it in his mouth without so much as a shudder. He actually said - "More coffee?" afterwards.

Its now almost 2 hours post bedtime, there is basically toddler stream of consciousness coming from DS's upstairs in his cot. We are on repetition fuck knows of Old MacDonald and I don't know how many times I've heard "bouncy, bouncy, BOUNCY!!!!!" coming from upstairs.
I'm lucky in that he is not crying, on the contrary he is full of fucking happiness at the moment.

My husband has to work from home this evening so it's just me and a small child on his first experience of caffeine. AIBU think that my DH is a massive fucking TWAT?

This is amazing

I used to drink coffee as a small child from my little plastic cup. Not ideal perhaps but I seem to have survived.

I agree with pp, have a and try to see the funny side.

www.livestrong.com/article/476658-the-effects-of-eating-coffee-beans/

I'm lucky in that he is not crying, on the contrary he is full of fucking happiness at the moment.

Just wait til he's on the comedown.

Your husband is an idiot.

I took my nephew swimming a few years ago, only two at the time so we shared a changing room. He blurted out 'wow I love your boobies' mortified 😂

it says eating coffee has a fast acting laxative effect too..lol

It also has a dehydrating effect, doesn't it? I'd be tempted to offer him an extra drink.

This is amazing.

Have you checked to make sure how much caffeine in grams would be in how much he's consumed, the checked online how that does could affect a baby the age/weight of your son?
I know im a natural worrier, but caffeine is something you can overdose on and it can be fatal, i'd be worried it could be doing damage.

I doubt the toddler stream of consciousness has anything to do with him swallowing a teaspoon of coffee grounds. In adults, it's apparently mostly placebo.

the toxic dose in children to be 35mg/kg. one coffee bean is 35mg, so one teaspoon should be fine

just reading about a 1 year old that consumed 2 tablespoons of ground coffee, he was taken in for observation as he had tachycardia but was fine, he had a lot more caffeine and drinking will help prevent any problems

Your son must be all over the place.
your husband needs electronic shock treatment.

I'm so sorry! That's just made me laugh out loud.

Off to clean toothpaste off the mirror now....

I'm sorry op but I'm giggling at this. Poor you.

He sounds like a lovely Dad (apart giving the baby his first caffeine high!) Who'll make lots of happy memories for your little one. Even though he was a bit daft it's lovely hear a positive Dad story.

Any parental action that keeps a toddler up two hours past his bedtime should be dealt with by the parent that caused it. That ought to be an iron rule of parenting!

But I love all that sensory stuff - must be brilliant for your DS.

I remember the time my 11 year old asked to try some chocolate coated coffee beans I had been given. I said yes thinking she would try one and dislike it. When I looked back she had eaten a handful. She spent the rest of the evening ricocheting up and down the stairs cackling manically and singing random snatches of song whilst her 8 yo sister looked on very disapprovingly.

Sorry but I laugh too.

I wouod have expected a 22montha old to just spit out coffee too!

DS basically stuffed it in his mouth without so much as a shudder. He actually said - "More coffee?" afterwards

He ate a spoonful of ground coffee beans and asked for more? I don't get how he managed to swallow it really...did he try to chew it? It would have just stuck to the inside of his mouth I assume so you could rinse it out?

Ground coffee beans don't exactly just slip down

Mybabystolemysanity I thought I was weird for reading mumsnet whilst brushing my teeth. Don’t feel so odd now.

I remember the first time I drank coffee, I was about 15/16? I had about 3/4 cups of the stuff gradually getting stronger and I went a bit mad. I decided to draw all over my face in a black marker and was just stupid sounding but also tired because it was so late. I think I stayed up all night. Im sure your son will be fine, great about all the sensory play too. I’d be expecting a decent lie on in the morning

He finally gave up a 10:30.

I can confirm that Old MacDonald most definitely did have a farm and The Wheels on the Bus go around and around and around ad infinitum....

I wasn't sure if DH was joking or not when he suggested giving him a shot of whisky to balance him out a bit. After todays judgement lapse I'm not sure anything would surprise me,

Lets hope at least lets us have a lay in in the morning.

DH is suitably embarrassed and just keeps saying "I can't believe I thought it was a good idea"....... Good job I love the idiot.

Ahh blessed peace! And this is how we learn to be parents.

Im so glad im not a coffee drinker or that i have no dh