To be selfish

[PinkIcedDonut]

My best friend suffers from depression and is really struggling at the minute. I've been trying my best to help and support her in any way I can. In the last few days she hasn't been feeling able to answer text messages, which is fine and I've let her know that she doesn't need to respond but I'm always here if she wants to.

The thing is I'm going through a really hard time at the minute and I wish I could talk to her about it. I know it's not her fault, I'm not blaming her at all, but at the same time I just wish I could have a turn in the "spotlight" and talk about it because I need her but I can't share it with her. I can't talk to any of my other friends about it because she's the only one who knows details and it's something that really goes deep. I'm going to have counselling about it soon so that's at least some consolation. I know I'm being selfish but I just wish I could talk to her and have a good cry. I miss her

Sorry.

Can you talk here?

Sorry if I am misunderstanding but why can't you share it with her? Explain to her- maybe leave the 'spotlight' bit out!

I know I will get told off but might it give her something else to focus on?

Have you tried to talk to her?

I think sometimes you have to accept that a particular person can’t be there in the way you need them because of life circumstances. It isn’t unusual but that doesn’t make it any less shit. Big sympathy.

The counselling is the right thing to do. If you decide you need more support, you might be surprised if you confided in another friend. I know it is scary but friends want to help.

I would reach out to your friends and explain. Maybe don’t use the “spotlight” phrase as she might feel offended. But perhaps if you say that just having her listen (and especially her) would help. She might rise to the occasion and, like others have said, also feel better at being able to focus on something else and also at being able to help a friend.

Maybe her knowing you’re going through a hard time too might be good for her (in a way). If you’re both struggling she may find comfort in that.