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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not want DS (nearly 14 yrs) to go out on his bike?

18 replies

drumandthebass · 12/05/2018 19:47

DS wants to cycle to the next village, with friends, to see other friends. It is mainly country roads, but fairly busy, windy and with its fair share of potholes.

None of the kids wear helmets and even if I made him wear a helmet I'm sure he'd take it off.

I really don't want him to go out on his bike, but then again, I do see danger in everything lately, and DH thinks we've got to let him.

What would you all do?

OP posts:

Fruitcorner123 · 12/05/2018 19:51

I would feel like you about it but would probabkly force myself to let him go. I would speak to him about the helmet though and try and get him to wear it. I would also have certain conditions such as the time of day he has to be back and to bring you if he feels unsafe or if the weather take a turn for the worse. Also make sure his lights and reflectors are all working just in case.

BrownTurkey · 12/05/2018 20:06

Let him go but remind him that on a bust road he is very likely to be seen by someone you know and you do not want to hear about any bad cycling (a group this age I saw yesterday were all over the place and one decided to do a wheelie in the middle of the road right on a notorious blackspot bend

BrownTurkey · 12/05/2018 20:06

Busy

mrscampbellblackreturns · 12/05/2018 20:07

No helmet then no bike.

mrscampbellblackreturns · 12/05/2018 20:08

But if he wore helmet I would have no problem.

kissthealderman · 12/05/2018 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

havanagilahava · 12/05/2018 20:11

I agree - he can go if he wears the helmet.

ManchesterGin · 12/05/2018 20:12

I agree with the helmet. There’s a great picture somewhere of a helmet that has been scraped along the ground in an accident to show what could have happened to the person’s head.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 12/05/2018 20:14

I would let him go on the understanding that he wears a helmet and doesn't mess around on the bike.

LakeFlyPie · 12/05/2018 20:17

Google 'why to wear a bike helmet' and show him the images. Converted my 2 helmet refusers in about 10 seconds flat!

CalF123 · 13/05/2018 03:52

I'd let him go helmet or no helmet tbh.

MrsCrabbyTree · 13/05/2018 04:17

Compromise. You allow the bike ride only if he wears a helmet. then follow him to see that he does

lljkk · 13/05/2018 04:51

Helmets don't stop some dozey driver from not seeing you or not believing you're a road user worthy of respect. I'd be more bothered about wearing high-viz clothing than helmet - bet he won't do that, either.

I presume at 7:45pm OP was talking about a ride today, not last night, otherwise we've got lights to worry about too. OP has said nothing about distance. 1 mile or 5?

Original poster

drumandthebass · 13/05/2018 08:24

Thanks everyone for your replies. He would only be going out in the day, and its about 4 miles in distance. He can be quite lazy and I'm hoping he'll find it too much hard work and won't want to do it again!

However, like somebody also said we also get a lot of kids who cycle up and down the road doing wheelies and that concerns me too.

I think if I'm honest I don't want him going out on his bike at all unless its a proper bike road, preferably off road. I've got to accept this new phase in their growing up, like getting the bus into town, going for sleepovers at the houses of friends I've never met....I don't like it

OP posts:

Zfactorstar · 13/05/2018 08:30

He's soon to be driving and only 4 years away from being an adult, I think it's time to cut the apron strings a bit and stop projecting your anxiety on him.

dayinlifeof · 13/05/2018 08:31

DS is the same age, no bike no helmet. Thankfully the bike shop we went to give away a bike helmet (£50!) that is the same brand as the bike they buy and is therefore cool. It's all black but it has reflective coating in the paint so looks normal but when a light shines on it it's lit up like an Xmas tree. The paint on the bike is the same - the logo of the company is in reflective paint all along the cross bar.

I googled 'why to wear a bike helmet' but didn't see any convincing pictures, does anybody have a link please?

lanbury · 13/05/2018 08:42

My DS cycles a lot (14) I am pleased he does as it's a great sport (he's into mountain biking) for fitness, it's social and gives him independence. I'm not going to help your anxiety when I say that over the years he's broken his collarbone and fractured his skull! He wasn't wearing a helmet the time he came off and hit his head, so he always does now, having learned the hard way. I think life is all about weighing up the benefits and cons but your DS is at an age where he needs to understand the risks but make an educated decision to take responsibility for himself, not just with a bike but in life generally. I don't think you should wrap him up in cotton wool.

Fourmagpies · 13/05/2018 09:07

day not sure if this one will help but it's stuck in my mind www.standard.co.uk/news/london/mother-of-two-fell-off-bike-and-died-moments-after-taking-this-selfie-a3360441.html she was a mum not wearing a helmet, minutes from home, hit a pothole and fell off.

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