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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so bloody devastated..

61 replies

Welshgal1 · 12/05/2018 19:45

Posted on here a few times in regards to me and OH ttc and having problems with my currently non existent cycle. Part of this shitty process has been me peeing on OPKS regularly. I've not really bothered OH with that and haven't mentioned it, but have been entirely addicted to pregnancy tests and have shoved many a test in his face asking him if he can see a line when we both know damn well there isn't one.

Anyway he goes to work a few hours before me, so in that time I do my OPK and write the date on it and put it in an old wash bag with the rest of them. Today, I forgot until the last minute and did the OPK an hour or so later than I normally do. I had already started getting ready for work and after lots of faffing about dashed off late and got on with my shift.

Didn't realise I left the bloody stick on the bloody loo in the bloody bathroom. OH knows damn well what two lines means. He doesn't know the bloody difference between bloody opks and pregnancy tests.

I had 3 missed calls and I couldn't answer because I was with customers. It was him crying with joy. Literal sobs down the phone.

Texts from him, the nicest sweetest bloody texts I have ever had in my bloody life celebrating a pregnancy that isn't a thing.

I got home from work to the happiest man alive. I'm heartbroken. He feels awful for getting so excited but bless him he wasn't to know. I'm devastated and I don't know why it's hit me so hard. He was on a split shift today and has gone back to work and I've just laid in bed for hours feeling mortified and sorry for myself, and more so, him.

Not sure what to say or do really or what I'm posting on here for. Just needed to vent and this forum really cheered me up lately with the whole Titzilla thing. Sorry if this is an inappropriate use of the forum.

SadSadSad

OP posts:
DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 12/05/2018 20:32

I’m so sorry, I’d take extra special timeout to be really kind to each other.

It’s all so exhausting isn’t it.

ferntwist · 12/05/2018 20:32

Oh my heart goes out to you OP. Sending you good wishes. You’ll get there. One day you will get to enjoy sharing that wonderful news. Stay strong.

Cat12321 · 12/05/2018 20:32

I'm so sorry OP Thanks

Branleuse · 12/05/2018 20:32

oh love :(

I felt maddened when ttc. it's such a headfuck

I really hope it happens for you guys soon x

Tartyflette · 12/05/2018 20:33

Sweetheart, it's no-ones fault at all, but I can see how you're feeling awful right now. YANBU about that, and neither is your DH BU about how he's feeling.
It's a horrible misunderstanding and I really hope you can talk it through together soon and console each other.

CFTrollsSmell · 12/05/2018 20:35

What a sad thread. 💐💐💐 For you and your OH.

This really highlights that t fertility problems are often as heart wrenching for men as they are for women.

elisaveta · 12/05/2018 20:36
Flowers
Aeroflotgirl · 12/05/2018 20:37

I am so sorry Welsh, massive hugs FlowersFlowers. I think with the TITZILLA thing, it kind of deflects from the heartache you are going through, and lighthearted and jokey. What Titzilla said to you was disgusting though, nasty piece of work.

trickydickie · 12/05/2018 20:45

Feel for you. Hope your good news is just round the corner. Flowers

TheFaerieQueene · 12/05/2018 20:47

Oh, poor thing.

I hope it all happens for you both v v soon.

HesterShaw · 12/05/2018 20:48

God I'm so sorry Flowers How gut wrenching :(

MaverickSnoopy · 12/05/2018 20:50

Oh OP you mustn't feel guilty. It's not your fault really. I know it must feel like it.

May I suggest doing something nice? Maybe cheering him up with a nice meal out or something. Maybe not tonight. Maybe just extra cuddles tonight.

Mrsmadevans · 12/05/2018 20:58

A very unmumsnetty hug for you my dear Flowers bless you both.

Hugsythespacecowboy · 12/05/2018 21:02

Hey, don't beat yourself up. It was a misunderstanding. A sad one yes but it's not your fault as such. It's cute that he was so excited and happy. I hope you get your BFP soon x

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/05/2018 21:12

I don't know what to say? What an awful thing for both of you but it was not your fault, just a set of unfortunate circumstances. I'm so sorry and I bloody hope the Universe or whoever out there, is listening.

I've never read anything online that I've so fervently hoped for before, Welshgal, I hope your time is coming very, very soon. In the meantime, regroup as the team that you clearly are together. Flowers

Welshgal1 · 12/05/2018 21:17

Thank you for so many lovely replies. I know it was a misunderstanding I just wish I'd been able to nip it in the bud. Just so guilty he spent most of his day thinking it Sad

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 12/05/2018 21:19

Flowers take care of each other. Sendingyou big hugs and best of luck for the future.

Penfold007 · 12/05/2018 21:50

How sad

TroubledLichen · 12/05/2018 21:57

Oh no this is so sad. Please don’t feel guilty, it’s so so shit but it’s not your fault. Do something nice together maybe like dinner out, a an impromptu mini break an activity you both enjoy. Remember that you’re on the same team Flowers

MsP0b · 12/05/2018 22:08

Super shit thing to happen. Noone's fault.

I once did a similar thing to myself, will share the anecdote in solidarity.

I was desperately ttc, going through loads of tests and waiting for place on ivf waiting list. My mate who was already preg with her dc3 gave me a big bag of "ttc stuff"- books, opks, all different types of preg tests not in boxes all jumbled up. One morning I got up super early to test... got 2 clear lines- my BFP! Sat quietly basking in the wonder of the moment.... something made me check on google images and with her by sending a pic msg of the test... Yeah it was an OPK... I wasn't preg at all, just had residual hormones left over from ovulation. Felt such an idiot and so sorry for my friend who had to break it to me.

Thanks
Echobelly · 12/05/2018 22:31

That must be so upsetting for both of you, I hope you can get over the confusion and upset and move on to brighter things.

HoardingQueen · 12/05/2018 22:36

Sending you both lots of love and hugs, you'll get there xxx

WeWere0nABreak · 12/05/2018 22:45

Why do they even make them with 2 lines? I've only ever seen the smiley face OPKs. It sounds like this was always going to be an accident waiting to happen Sad

So sorry OP, and fingers tightly crossed for a bfp soon 🤞🏻

Sophronia · 12/05/2018 23:28

I’m so sorry OP Flowers

QuantamBaby · 12/05/2018 23:33

Oh @Welshgal1 Thanks

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