Stepchildren and stepgrandparents

[Mirrorwriting]

Do you think step grandparents should have a relationship with a step grandchild and treat them exactly the same as blood relations?
What about if they are older children?

I have a mix of grandchildren - 7 in total + 1 on the way, ages 1 to 10. Four "real" and three step. I treat them all the same now. There was a time when they were my son's girlfriends dc's, but I'm very much a kid person and it didn't take long! They don't see their dad so maybe that made it easier.

At the end of the day, I'd hate for any of them to feel different so I do my very best to ensure they don't. I think helps that both ds and dil are amazing parents who have taken every challenge in their stride and created an amazing family.

Actually I probably see my not-really-step-auntie more than my blood uncle.

I'm just trying to remember how many grandchildren my grandparents have...

12 I think. 9 by blood and 3 by marriage or relationship with blood. All get same spent on them at Xmas and bdays type of thing... One of their daughters cut them out and went NC so they don't see two of those grandchildren but still send cards and money at important dates and has one of their mobile numbers - gets thank yous for presents.

It certainly makes for a happy situation when step-grandchildren are treated well by their step-grandparents. Of all the kind things that were said to me when my mother died, the absolute best was my stepson saying to me "she was my favorite grandmother."

I guess it also depends as to whose relationship they are through - my grandparents were divorced, DGF remarried (long before I was born), and his second wife always treated me and my siblings as grandchildren; I can't imagine her ignoring us while we spent time with DGF. If my parents had divorced, and one of them remarried (presumably after I was born) then one of them remarried, I can imagine their new spouse's parents might feel differently - my stepgrandmother chose to marry a divorcee with children (who produced grandchildren); her parents hadn't chosen to take on step grandchildren.

I have step-grandchildren, they aren't much younger than my own DS. If my husband chooses to spoil them or spend money on them then that's his business and I have no problem with it, but generally I don't get involved.

I'd need a crystal ball to know if I'd treat DS's children, that he may or not even have, any differently!