To hate affection?

[DownTheGardenPath]

I can't stand it, a quick kiss with OH, a quick cuddle but other than that I can't do it.

There is no way I could lie there cuddled up on the sofa or cuddle in bed.

I get told I'm cold hearted, I treat him like a "friend", but I just hate it!

Am I BU for it?? Should I try and just do it for his sake??

'Am I BU for it?? Should I try and just do it for his sake??'

Is he the one telling you you are cold? My DP is like you. I naively thought he'd change but he just doesn't like affection. He wasn't brought up in an affectionate household. Interestingly his brother was the same but changed once he met his wife - he is now much more affectionate, she obviously brought it out in him.

I think my DP just doesn't like or need it. I have to say it has had an impact on our relationship. I've become a lot colder and don't bother trying anymore.

How long have you been together? You sound like you both have different needs.

i’m assuming if her your husband you’ve been together a while and he knew you were like this before you got married, in which case he can’t really moan. but it wouldn’t be for me at all. a marriage without affection sounds miserable

if he’s your*

@monita Def agree about the upbringing thing. We have a similar problem here.

Are you sure your with the right person? I was never over affectionate, hated hand holding, stuff like that. Like you, didn’t think I was the cuddling on the sofa type, until I met the person I did want to cuddle on the sofa with.

My dsis and bil are the same. I'm sure they're happy though. As long as it works for you that's all that matters.

I'm not affectionate at all, my mother said I started refusing cuddles properly at age 2/3. I just don't see the need for it. My husband has never complained but he knew I was like that before.
I've often been called a bitch or cold hearted, it's just who I am. But I do cuddle my kids though if they need and want me too.

MIL warned DH not to marry me as I wasn't affectionate and he was. She was right in that he is a limpet and I like to have 5 feet of clear space around me at all times BUT we are fine. Sometimes I put up with it and other times I simply say no. We both give and take. If one of us didn't or couldn't then it might become a problem.

My Dm was/is hugely affectionate, however my DF wasn't. I always pulled away if people tried to kiss or hug me as a child. I hated it.

I have a DS who's 1, he gets a hell of a lot of affection but that is solely because he only wants quick cuddles, he won't lie there for ages, he pulls away quickly.

I've been like this for a hell of a long time, I've had exes moan about it also. I'm also upfront and honest about it but it always becomes an issue.

I absolutely hate PDA, people think I'm weird.