To be upset that my parent is getting married

[snottytissue]

My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember. I found out recently that one of them is getting remarried. I have quite a lot of issues towards this parent, which I am going to get counselling for starting from next week (decided before I found out about the engagement).

I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now. As they told me in person, I had to feign happiness and I now feel stupid for the way I reacted. I'm worried about being expected to play a big role in the wedding, which I don't want to do. I don't even know if I want to go to the wedding at all. But I know that it will cause a big upset and drama if I don't. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it irl. I'm feeling a bit sad

Sorry OP

I think it's great that you had plans to go for counselling anyway. And I also think you're entitled to assert your own boundaries - you don't have to be involved in the wedding in a big way. You don't even have to go. I know that's much easier said than done but hopefully counselling will help you develop strategies for dealing with it. I hope you're ok

OP YANBU at all. Hopefully there’ll be a good gap before the wedding and you can spend some time with the counsellor and see if it helps at all.

Thank you
I don't think my parent even knows I have any issues with them. I hide it and would be mortified if they knew my true feelings. In reality I have them muted on my phone and feel anxious when I see that I have a text from them. I don't trust them and I'm a bit scared of them. I don't know how I got myself in this mess