School/Exclusion/Assault/Bullying/Head Teacher

[fuglydumpling]

My daughter moved schools at the end of last year. She was there less than a week when a girl in her year, whom she has never met, started bullying her, badly. Threats of violence, threats to kill her, cornering her, screaming at her down corridors calling her all sorts of vile names.

My daughter is quite private and not particularly sensitive and like most teens doesn’t like parents to get involved so I knew it was bad when she asked me to report it. Which I did. The girl was spoken to but it carried on. There were also threats made to me and my partner, she was waiting for her after class screaming in her face etc. My daughter was asked to report each incident which she did with a statement to the head of year. The girl bullying her was put into isolation a few times and I think excluded once- but I believe that was for other bad behaviour not just towards my child. Daughter was advised to keep away from her, was taken out of PE as changing rooms were being used to intimidate her and they refused to remove the bully from the PE lessons. I asked if my daughter was doing anything at all to encourage or provoke this and no, she wasn’t I was assured.

Daughter received a call one evening (which she recorded) in which this girl made some detailed vile death threats. We reported it to Police. Met with Deputy Head, daughter cried the entire meeting, scared and very upset. School said two days later that they’d had a meeting with bully and her parents and they are confident it won’t continue. Daughter now reluctant to go to school. I asked Deputy whether these threats were likely to be credible or to reassure us it was all talk- has she been violent to other students before, he said he couldn’t tell me that. Daughter missed a few days of school with headaches, up during the night feeling sick with worry. Two weeks later bully approached her at lunchtime from behind, pulled her around by her bag and punched her clean in the face, totally unprovoked. Caught on CCTV. Reported to Police.

This was 8 weeks ago and bully hasn’t been at school at all since. Daughter has settled in, is happy, no longer feeling ill, made good friends. I received a call two days ago to tell me it’s been decided the bully is coming back and she will be there the next morning. I explained this was going to have a serious affect on my daughter and I was told they understand but the decision had been made. Informed my daughter and she was inconsolable. I took her into school the next morning to meet the Head (at my request) and asked for some reassurances and why wasn’t she permanently excluded. He said her exclusion had only ever been temporary- for 8 weeks?!? Surely that’s longer than a temporary exclusion can be made for. (I suspect they tried to get rid of her and when it didn’t work out they agreed to take her back- but who knows) And that he believed she deserved a second chance after making a mistake. A mistake I asked? Months of daily bullying, threats and an unprovoked assault isn’t a mistake. She’s dangerous. We’ve since discovered she’s assaulted another girl previously. My daughter missed school yesterday as she’s pretrified she’s going to be attacked again. Head Teacher has told me the bully isn’t going to be permanently removed from my daughter’s classes as she has a right to study the lessons she’s chosen for GCSE. My daughter feels sick at the thought of looking at her after what she did to her. I met with the Deputy yesterday who asked mydauhhyer what she wanted and she said to feel safe, either the bully gone or she doesn’t want to be at this school. The deputy then said well if mum agrees you could move schools, sometimes students need a fresh start. Not helpful at all! :(

AIBU to be so thoroughly pissed off here? I’m disgusted they have allowed this girl back. She’s 14/15 years old, not a young child. She admitted then assault and it was on CCTV. They KNEW this would be devastating for my daughter and reallt effect her badly and now she’s expected to attend lessons with her there. I absolutely believe her “rights” have been put before my daughter’s, who is the victim of a nasty assault. It’s just so unfair. She’s getting up and going to school with little sleep due to worrying and anxiety (neither of which is like her usually) and said to me she doesn’t feel safe. I’m waiting 9-3 for my phone to ring to say she’s been attacked again at school.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

I’m so sorry for what your daughter is going through (and you!) could you write to the chair of governors? Do they have a governing body at the school?

I wouldn't ordinarily say this but I think the school are failing in their duty of care towards your DD and you've behaved calmly so far and need to now go a little nuclear to ensure your DD's safety.

How has the station been resolved other than a temporary exclusion? What's the next step if there's another incident of bullying behaviour? How are they planning to protect your DD and keep her safe at all times? If they can't answer these questions I'd consider pulling her out for a while, getting your GP to sign her off with anxiety and taking the case to the Local Authority, Governors and anyone else who'll listen.

I would take your complaint to the governors and ask for clear plans as to how school intends to safeguard your child.

Exclusion is hard as schools get penalised and it costs £8-10k to exclude a child. That doesn't mean they can't keep her away from your dc! Your dc should not miss pe because they cannot stop another dc misbehaving so for that alone I'd be going to the governors.

It's really hard as you don't want to be "that parent" but in this instance I would absolutely keep fighting and saying it's not okay!

What happened with the police? Can there be a restraining order as your dd is in danger? (I've no idea if that's an option but I'd ask)

Could you also report to ofsted?

They have a duty to protect your dd. As them what measures they have put in place to ensure your dd's safety. I would consider taking some legal advice on what you can legitimately expect from the school. Make sure that you have everything you have been told in writing. Follow up conversations with an email confirming what you have been told so you have a record. Make a complaint to the chair of governors. It may also be appropriate to raise the issue with Ofsted as a safeguarding issue. Finally you might consider the reputational aspect. No school wants to be known as a place where students are assaulted and bullies are protected. If you do decide to move your dd for her well being, I would be clear with the school that you will make a very public statement about how she has been treated and how the school has responded. She should not have to move but if the school are this useless and spineless it may be the only way for her to feel safe.

Sorry I have no advice but I really feel for you. I can't believe the school are treating your daughter so badly. Personally I think the bully should be removed permanently. If it was me I'd be approaching head of governors and Ofsted as well as contacting other parents in your daughters year group - perhaps a petition to remove her.

This is abuse not just from the bully but from the school for allowing the bully back into the school. Have you spoken to the SGO. I am tempted to say take your DD out, but why should her education be destrupted because of a little shit.
Also I'd be inclined to call the police.

The school has a board of governors, it was the next step I had considered actually.

The Head and Deputy basically said to me that the decision is final and won’t Ben changed. She’s back. They have said that she is on a final warning and if she were to assault my daughter (or anyone again) then she would lose her place at the school. But that’s little consolation for my daughter who’s already been punched once. They’ve told me she’s out of her classes for two weeks to see how she behaves during break and lunch times and if she isn’t abusive to my daughter for two weeks she’s allowed back into the classes they share. I did explain that due to the previous bullying and assault sitting in the same room as her for hours a day is very awkward and upsetting for my child but they said that was the decision and tough basically.

Police have been helpful. Investigation took ages as school accidentally wiped the cctv but she’s been interviewed and there’s clear
evidence. She wont get a record but will get a warning I believe and have to attend some sort of scheme for her behaviour. It all just seems so softly softly. No wonder teens think they are untouchable and can do what they like nowadays.

Good grief, wtf are they playing at? This girl has assaulted 2 pupils and they're letting her back in the school?

The HT needs to consider not only how to keep your daughter safe, but all the other students too

Get the anti bullying policy and safeguarding policies and make sure they have followed their own policies. If they are not on the website, turn up at the school office and ask nicely for copies. I would be very surprised if they have followed their own policies here. If they haven't this can form part of your complaint to the governors and to Ofsted.

You can accept she's allowed back but they need to be clear how they will ensure your dc's safety. Is dd allowed to do pe again?

Iran very difficult to see where they haven’t followed their own policies as I have no idea what actually happened. I keep being told it’s confidential, steps have been taken but I can’t be informed as to what they are. I think an 8 week temporary exclusion is unlikely to be standard and that something’s happened during that time and they’ve been forced to take her back. The other assault is only from what other pupils have told us, HT refuses to confirm or deny it and of course she’s only been there since Xmas so we don’t know the history.

So I’ll write to the chair of the governors and try and have the decision changed. Part of me wants to pull her out but a 3rd school and a move would be huge for her right near her GCSE’s and when the heck should she move when she’s done nothing wrong. :(

Fucking hell

Your poor daughter

I don't really have anything useful to say but I just wanted to add my support

Isn’t it true that you can trigger an OFSTED if you make a complaint to the local authority re bullying/safeguarding? First thing I’d do. This child should not be allowed back. After an 8 week exclusion, I’d thoroughly expect a quiet managed move to a different school.

Was the 8 week exclusion actually a managed transfer to another school ? Most of these are 8 week trials and if they fail then the original school has to take the pupil back before any further steps can be taken.

Thanks Maelstrop. I asked the HT why she wasn’t moved to another school and he said it wasn’t as simple as that. As she’s enrolled with his school her has a duty to provide her an education. A managed move has to be agreed to by all parties and her parents were adamant she stays at this school.

I actually had contact with her Mother when the bullying started. She apologised, said her daughter was out of control, had a Social Worker, is street wise and not manipulative and takes drugs, goes missing a lot and has lots of older friends. After the assault she contacted me totally different and said her daughter punched mine as she wasn’t in the right frame of mind for school that day. She told me she’d fight for her to stay there and I guess she won.

The school has a safeguarding officer. I’ve never spoken to her and had no contact at all from her through all of this. Maybe I’ll email her for a definitive answer as to how the school will ensure my daughter’s safety (HT and Deputy refused to put into writing their promises that she’s lose her place at school if they bullying/assault wasto be repeated) And also write to the chair of the board of governors to complain about how it’s all been dealt with (or not shall I say!)

Ah anasnake. That could be it. The deputy slipped up and said “other measures have fallen through” and then claimed he never said that as the HT refused to comment when I asked him what that meant. She was probably a little bitch there too and they swiftly sent her back.

Awful, just awful. Your poor daughter. It would be terrible if she had to leave the school because of this (and who'd blame her for wanting to do so), and that scummy wee bitch was allowed to stay. And wtf have her parents done about it? World's gone mad.

A school can exclude a pupil for up to 45 school days in an academic year, so yes it could have been a fixed term exclusion. The good news is that if the bully is excluded again, it should be a permanent exclusion.

Have you looked at the school's anti-bullying policy which they MUST have. Under the section 89 Education Inspections Act 2006, head teachers are required by law to have a written anti-bullying policy. Read it carefully - because if they are not following their own policy, you should certainly lodge a formal complaint.

Under Section 175 of the Education Act 2002, the school have a legal duty to safeguard and promote the welfare of children. This law requires that the school takes all reasonable measures to ensure that risks of harm to children’s welfare are minimised.

Other statutory guidance (i.e. legal obligations) are:
Keeping Children Safe in Education 2015 - it sets out the legal duties they must comply with and what they should do.
Working Together to Safeguard Children 2015 also sets out a various legal obligations.

You may be able to use the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 to involve the police.

If the school do not protect her, you may be able to sue the school, for damages, as compensation for psychiatric damage or physical injuries suffered by your child.

If any of the bullying relates to a protected characteristic (e.g. a disability, which could include mental health) then there is additional legislation and additional responsibilities on the school.

I'm sorry I can't offer any expert advice. How devastating.

Chocolate worshipper thankyou.

One of the issues I raised is why wasn’t my daughter given some notice and warning of her return. The least they could have done it had someone speak with her at school and reassure her and answer her questions. Instead it was a quick “courtesy” call to me at 5pm the evening before. The 45 days things makes sense now as it would be just under 9 weeks since the incident so I guess they had to get her back quick to keep within legislation.

I’m going to spend the weekend reading up, printing off the policies and writing to the chair of the board and also the safeguarding lead.

As a head of year this very much sounds like a failed managed move...the school will be in a tricky position here..I would definitely be checking the criteria for permanent exclusion and you will need to be that “parent” that hounds them for a solution. I’d certainly approach governors immediately as a starting point with your safeguarding concerns around your daughter and her right to be safe in school.

Poor her and you

The school’s behaviour policy states that a pupil can be permanently excluded if

“There has been a serious breach or persistant breaches of the behaviour policy and if the pupil were to remain it would serious harm their education or welfare or others in the school”

I quoted this to the HT. persistant reported bulling for months, a nasty unprovoked assault during school and the obvious upset and distress it’s causing my daughter. He said he has been convinced in their meeting (she hasn’t a social worker and support worker speaking on her behalf) that she is sorry for what she’s done and has spent the 8 weeks reflecting on her bad choices and wants another chance. Interestingly, the Police told me they’ve had trouble even interviewing her for the assault as she has run away twice and had to issue a warrant for her so when she was next found she’d be bought into the station as the family couldn’t locate her!

Why does the girl have a social worker and these issues? My suspicion is she's at risk in some way and that is why the school won't kick her out?

Because of her behaviour “peoplearenean” her Mother told me at the beginning. She goes missing a lot and put herself at risk with spending time with older men. No respect for authority and parents can’t control her.