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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for a lift

21 replies

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 11/05/2018 20:00

Not an AIBU (yet!) but rather what would you do in this situation.

My child has qualified for the second round of sports trials that will be held in the evening, 45 mins drive away. The school has asked that parents non-attending should arrange a lift. Taxi would be over 100 for the round trip and I just cant afford that right now. Buses are infrequent and a nightmare as I'd have to take my other kids too. I cant drive at the moment due to a medical condition.

I dont know the other parents of the other children that have qualified (bar one, but we smile and wave- we dont know each other as friends per se).

Would I be unreasonable to ask this lady if she would give my child a lift there and back? I would of course pay for all petrol money and get her a gift to say thankyou- but I feel as though I would be being a CF to just ask. Blush

On the other hand I could ask the school which parents have children going- but that seems... well a little childish to have Teacher ask on my behalf!

I just dont want to be a CF to either the school or the other lady.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 11/05/2018 20:01

No it's fine

BrightonCalling · 11/05/2018 20:01

Not CF at all. Do it!

LolitaLempicka · 11/05/2018 20:02

If she is going anyway, I don’t see why not. I would give you a lift.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/05/2018 20:03

Maybe ask her if she knows who else is going and say you’re hoping to see if anyone can take you because it’s not viable on public transport. I wouldn’t mind being asked like this or more directly as it’s a one off.

wellBeehivedWoman · 11/05/2018 20:03

Definitely not - only a total arsehole would refuse under the circumstances! I would be more than happy to be asked and to help if I were another parent.

Could you ask the school to ask the other parents on your behalf? That might make you feel less cheeky (even though I don't think you are being cheeky to ask!)

StealthPolarBear · 11/05/2018 20:04

In fact for something like this I'd want to car share. Why should everyone go separately

Alexkate2468 · 11/05/2018 20:05

Ask. I wouldn't mind being asked this. I wouldn't expect a gift either or petrol money. She's going anyway so just having one extra person shouldn't be a problem.

StealthPolarBear · 11/05/2018 20:06

Or even two. Do you want to go op

niknac1 · 11/05/2018 20:07

Totally fine, I’ve been asked to do similar and as others have said I needed to go that way so it won’t be inconvenient.

Knittedfairies · 11/05/2018 20:10

Who will be supervising your child if you don’t go, OP? If someone from school is supervising once there, you’d be fine to ask. I wouldn’t mind offering a lift at all, but wouldn’t want to be responsible for a child I didn’t know very well.

Original poster
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 11/05/2018 20:16

There will be sports teachers there to supervise- I think it that it is now a regional event with only a small amount of children that there has not been a bus organised.

This is why I am wondering would I be taking the proverbial- we have daughters in different classes but they have been attending the same nursery/school for years. She's not a stranger, but we wouldnt go out for coffee or text, if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 11/05/2018 20:22

Really not op. Honestly.

Jesu · 11/05/2018 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Remote1candles · 11/05/2018 20:23

I've given lifts to other children in this situation, always volunteer if I'm going as I know other families might not have cars or be able to take time off work.

halfwitpicker · 11/05/2018 20:24

Just ask.

StealthPolarBear · 11/05/2018 20:26

Or just that if its 45 mins away it would be silly for two cars to do the journey when one would do. That would be my attitude. If she hasn't got room or is going via somewhere else she will say. If she doesn't want to she'll be able to make up an excuse easily enough.

Storminateapot · 11/05/2018 20:36

Not a problem, explain your situation and say 'hope you don't think I'm cheeky, please say no if it's a problem', make an offer of reimbursement. I'd do it if asked, have done many times (and had favours repaid quid pro quo). Could be the start of a friendship between you both and your children,

Forgottencoffee · 11/05/2018 20:38

I’d ask and make it clear that if it starts to become an issue then she must let you know! I’d be happy to help if it were me.

Lilacwine1 · 11/05/2018 20:44

I wouldn't mind being asked, if I
was going anyway.

junebirthdaygirl · 11/05/2018 21:21

I have done this loads of times. Given a lift to other children at my dcs sports events. Its absolutely fine. I would never want petrol money or a gift . Just a thank you is always enough.

BackforGood · 11/05/2018 21:36

Of course ask!
I've given loads of dc lifts in similar situations, and I've asked parents I've not even met, on the odd occasion, to help me out too. It's what parents do in my world.
Why on earth wouldn't they?
I wouldn't take petrol money either, nor expect a gift from you.

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