To ask how much of a loser you think I am?

[Heavenly99]

I was having a normal day I was as happy as I’d ever been, I logged onto my facebook account and up popped a 7 year flashback picture of me and someone who used to be a friend. Suddenly and for no reason other than I was just so sad I burst out crying it wasn’t because I had lost contact with her and every other friend I had in my life it was because I suddenly realised I was a 27 year old still living at home with my parents and my beloved dog with no life and not a single friend in the world. My life came crashing down around me and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe, I had lost my job 18 months before, been dumped by my boyfriend, all my friends had drifted away, I hadn’t been outside for 3 weeks and I’d got old without even noticing life was just passing me by. I spent the next 2 weeks in a haze seriously considering suicide it would hurt my family at first but they would see they were better off without me, I couldn’t shake off this feeling off and sat at home crying too ashamed to go to the doctor incase they laughed at me. I feel like such a fraud I’ve had an amazing life compared to some people. Sometimes I wish I had never been born at all, that my mum and dad had a normal girl, I have always been an outsider in this world not fitting in with anyone, sometimes I hope I die before my mum, dad and brother not fair on them I know but at least I wouldn’t be left behind.

You are not a loser OP. Far from it. I am an outsider too- there are a lot of us

You do not deserve to be so hard on yourself and absolutely visit the drs if you feel this way. You are worth more than you're giving yourself credit for

You sound like some counselling might help you see yourself better - could your doctor refer you (they won't laugh)?

Oh honey. You aren't a loser, and you aren't old.

It sounds like you could do with some support - maybe a visit to your GP? Suicidal thoughts and depression warp everything and change your very perception of reality.

You deserve to be happy on your own terms darling, and medication and counselling can get you into the headspace you need to be in to think about what you want to do and what will make you happy.

You're not a loser, you're depressed. Please make an appointment with a doctor and ask for their help. They can, and will, help you, but you need to make the first step. There is hope, even though it doesn't feel like it (and I know, I've been where you are).

Let's start to think of some practical things you can do. Re job: do you have any qualifications? What have you got experience in (what have you done before, work-wise?). What do you want to do?

Unless things are terrible living with your parents, I wouldn't move out immediately. But think of that for the medium-term. Would you consider a flat share? Or could you afford a small flat on your own? (depends where you live, what the housing situation is, and what your finances are like).

Why have you lost contact with your friends? Is their someone you could send a quick message to, regain contact with? I did my best to avoid all my friends last year. Life wasn't going well, I had severe anxiety and I just didn't want to have to communicate with people. One I lost touch with completely, but, you know what, when I finally plucked up the courage to email her she have me a virtual hug and was extremely happy to hear from me. I bet your friends will be too.

Please keep talking here. We want to help.

You're not a loser. Please go to your GP and ask for help, it sounds like you have depression. You don't have to live with it. You're only 27, you still have most of your life ahead of you and it could be great.

You are not a loser. You're young enough to make over. And you are old enough to realize that what you have been through will shape you. Build from this now. You can get through it.

OP many of us have had a loser phase. I had a loser phase, in fact several. You're going to be fine, its normal. But maybe ask yourself some questions to help get yourself unstuck:
Do you fancy moving out or are you happy where you are?
What kind of job would you have ideally?
You say you havent been out in 3 weeks: can you think of something you miss from the "outside world"?

You're not a loser. You're not very well, either. Please do go to the GP; they can do several things to help.

Remove yourself from fb - it's full of false perfect lives. Nobody has it perfect and in another year your life can be different. You're still young and many people live at home through their 20s. Have a little pity party but then take a deep breath and make a plan then follow it and see where life takes you! Good luck op xx

One of the reasons I dont use facebook is because I find it makes me feel worse about myself. I would strongly suggest you stop using it. You also need to see a GP and be honest about your suicidal thoughts. Please do this they can help you. Your parents would be devastated if they thought you were feeling this way. They definitely will not be better off without you.

You are not old you are young. See today as the end of the old chapter of your life and the start of the next one. Give some thought to why you have lost touch with all your old friends and what you actually want out of the rest of your life. What do you enjoy? Maybe you could meet new friends through a hobby?

You are a valuable person. You just need a bit of help to appreciate it.

You are not a loser. You sound like you need help to me. Please try to book a GP appointment and tell them how you feel.

Oh sweetie
You’re not a loser.
Lots of people feel like this on occasion - you do sound depressed though from your reaction to a Facebook picture, so I definitely echo comments about counselling and seeing your GP if it’s a persistent feeling. (Coming from someone who was DRAGGED to the docs after suffering from PND for six months)
It’s so easy to compare yourself to others your age (our age - I’m 27 too) and wonder why they are doing ‘better’ but you have to remember you just see a snapshot of everyone’s life especiallly on social media, and whereas you see your failings in life, other people may look at you and want some things that you have.
For example, I feel like a ‘loser’ sometimes because I can’t drive, I’m gonna be stuck renting for the next ten years because my credit rating is shot to pieces, I wish I had stayed with my parents longer and bought a house, I’m 9 grand in debt (was 20k until my DP and mother bailed me out!)

But I have a lot of positives going on (wonderful DS, career on the up, loving partner etc) and I would bet you a hundred pounds (if I had a pot to piss in) that you have so many positive qualities and aspects to our life too. A job is a job, you can find another one. You can move out if you want to, all this stuff is fixable but please do not take your own life, you are so important to so many people. I can guarantee that you are. And I can 100 percent GUARANTEE, as a mother myself, that your parents would NOT feel better off without you. They would be damaged for the rest of their life because you matter more than anything in the world to them as their child. A million hugs to you, please please speak to someone.

My life is very similar to yours Heavenly99 except that I am a couple of years older!

I definitely expected to be married, with an amazing career, two kids, a solid group of friends and my own house by this point in my life. Instead I'm living at home with parents, dog and younger brother! I went to a Russell Group Uni, achieved all A grades became ill and had to leave in third year. Over time I've lost most of the close friends that I used to have and I'm not currently employed or in a relationship.

And yet life can get better and I'm hoping that it will. I am not old and you are even younger! Every problem that you have is solvable- the lack of friends, relationship, job etc. will change over time.

What would you really like to do with your life? If there were no obstacles what would you like your life to be like when you're 35 or 40?