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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Zilla

200 replies

Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 11:22

Sorry if this is long, I don't want to drip feed.

DC1 and I keep getting woken up by vandals and noisy neighbours who damage things and cause trouble when we're trying to sleep. I can be a little grumpy when woken and tend to break a few things myself when confronting these idiots who, frankly, seem a little strange and can act like monsters. I can be a little clumsy though my heart is good and I always try and help people, especially people being bullied. I need my sleep and feel like I just want to sleep for years after spending long hours at work. I still hve to live here when they’ve gone away so I often hide when the authorities come round as I can't face the trouble.

I also have nothing but trouble when OLD. I had a date with one chap who had a moth fetish and another who dressed up like a robot. I always meet in a city rather than at my home so I can run for the hills when I realise they're weirdos but, a couple of times, they've kicked off and started throwing things around in the restaurant. When I wouldn't let the chap with the moth fetish come back to mine for a 'coffee', he shouted that I needed to send him the money for the meal as I'd wasted his time and was just using him for a meal. He'd insisted on going to an expensive restaurant in uptown Tokyo when I was happy just to meet for a drink. I thought he was joking but he was seriousl and followed up with his bank details so I sent them to the local council to pay for the repairs. He was not impressed so I blocked him but I think he might be stalking me. My best friend says you need a skin as thick as a dinosaur when OLD but why aren’t there any normal men out there?

I gave up on OLD and just want to spend some time with DC1. As a single parent, looking after little ‘Zuki can be tiring in itself but I just found out my sister is going to call her baby by the same name as mine even though AFAIK I created little 'Zuki's name myself and no one else has used it. I wanted a unique name to match his little personality but one which was linked to my name so we’d always be together. (I think I realised during a difficult pregnancy that his father wasn't going to stay around and, guess what, I was right though the trouble with ex-DP is for another thread. I’m sure he’s behind some of the weirdos who come round and cause trouble. He was always going on about robots and space and things). I know no one owns a name and there might be some PFB thinking going on but why can't she make up a new name herself? She has form for being a bit of a copycat - She copied my wedding reception venue and theme, buys the same clothes, (destroys the same cities) goes on holiday to the same destination. She expected me to arrange and pay for an expensive hen weekend abroad, wanted a more expensive wedding present than she bought me and insisted on a child-free wedding when she knew I wouldn't have anyone to look after my DC as my mother would be at the wedding. I tried to discuss this with my mother but she took my sister's side as she is the 'golden child'.

One of my friends told me I should be annoyed that no one where I live can seem to pronounce my name properly so they Anglicise it. I'm not sure and I think I've got enough to focus on without bringing this in.

The thing that has tipped me over the edge and to post on MN (long-time lurker) is that I keep coming across threads on MN that seem to be targeting me and using my nickname as an insult or label for people who act outrageously.

As context, English is not my first language so apologies for not writing this well. I have some undiagnosed health problems which I think may be related to environmental pollution but I can't find a Dr who will take me seriously. I thought about going NC with most of my birth family as I’ve stuck out like a sore thumb sinve I was young. I'm taller than the rest of the family and always felt awkward and clumsy. My mother said I was huge which hurt my self esteem and my sister always calls me a monster.

AIBU to be annoyed with vandals who wake me and DC up, to give up on OLD nightmares, to expect Mumsnet posters who keep attacking me by using my nickname to stop and finally to go NC with my family?

First time poster so please be gentle. If you’ve read this post to the end then I hope it all makes sense.

Thank you ;-)

OP posts:
JustHereForThePooStories · 11/05/2018 13:08

I’ve stuck out like a sore thumb sinve I was young. I'm taller than the rest of the family and always felt awkward and clumsy. My mother said I was huge which hurt my self esteem and my sister always calls me a monster

Do you have scales? Big flarey nostrils?

You’re already in Tokyo so half the work is done.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 11/05/2018 13:08

I love this so much. Well done OP.

Loyaultemelie · 11/05/2018 13:09

Excellent! This is seriously improving time spent in hospital waiting and recovery with dd2!

Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:11

Sorry, Gingersnaps, online dating. I'm terrible for using abbreviations. I got 'Zuki a smartphone so he could keep in touch and I've found myself using more and more hashtags and txtspk. He says I embarrass him and I think he might have some accounts on Instagram, Snapchat and telegram that I can't see.

I tried dating in real life as opposed to OLD but struggled to meet suitable dates who were available and willing to commit though I've not done much better in the on line world.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:13

Justherefor, are you my mother or have you been speaking to her? I have enough trouble in real life and just came here for support and advice rather than abuse or comments on my appearance.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:14

Loyaul,

Genuinely, I hope things are as well as can be. Messages from on line strangers carry little weight but best wishes.

OP posts:
MadMags · 11/05/2018 13:18

Don’t break character!

Loyalty, hope all is well Flowers

ahouseofleaves · 11/05/2018 13:18

Well played! Grin

frogface69 · 11/05/2018 13:18

Hmmm.....

Storminateapot · 11/05/2018 13:18

How dare your sister destroy the same cities as you?! She's a CF and no mistake. Does she wait until they've been rebuilt after you've had at it or maybe she thinks she's being helpful by finishing the job for you.

Maybe she has a hidden disability or early onset dementia. Have you thought of that?

Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:23

Madmags - Thank you. I'm trying to not let any of them break my character, for 'Zuki's sake if not for me.

I've just remembered the date who was obsessed with lobsters and role play. It's all coming flooding back.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:25

Storm, she had a destructive streak since she was a child so I don't think her behaviour could be down to early onset though I'll bear that in mind.

My mother's been the same for all my life though when I try to talk to her about things, she just says she made the effort to take us to national parks in Japan so I should be grateful.

Oh for a normal life.

OP posts:
paxillin · 11/05/2018 13:28

YANBU, would you like us to construct passive aggressive texts you can fire in all directions? On the understanding you'll share all replies, naturally.

handslikecowstits · 11/05/2018 13:32

We want real time updates. Don't keep us hanging and have anything resembling a real life.

Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:32

Paxillin,

Thank you for the offer. I sometimes struggle writing texts that aren't misinterpreted. My family and bystanders often misinterpret what I do in real life too when I'm trying to be helpful. You seem really perceptive - when I think I'm being passive, I get accused of being too aggressive and damaging. It's so hard sometimes. Life would be easier if I had a DP though I'm holding out for the right DP rather than settling for a Manchild who doesn't help around the house and stays out late.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:34

Handslike - I wish I could have a real life instead of this nightmare treadmill of housework and looking after 'Zuki, endless trouble with my sister and mother and all the aggravation with vandals and the neighbours and OLD weirdos. I feel so tired all the time, I could just sleep for years. The only rest I get is when 'Zuki settles down and I get a little sleep (after surfing Mumsnet).

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:39

Sorry, Aornis, though I can't get Guns 'N Roses out of my head now. I saw a recent photo of Axl Rose though shouldn't comment as I don't look anything like I did before I had 'Zuki (sigh).

OP posts:
handslikecowstits · 11/05/2018 13:40

Do you think a spa day would help?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 11/05/2018 13:40

Have you tried a spa day, OP?

Some seaweed wrap will do wonders for your wellbeing.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 11/05/2018 13:41

Oh bugger!

Some bigger for there first!

Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:45

Don't worry Chardonnay, they say great minds think alike. I've never gone on a spa day though they sound like fun. My sister and mother go together on each other's birthdays though say I can't come as space is always limited. I found one that said it was 'volcano hot' with seaweed wraps and everything so might treat myself for my birthday (as no one else will treat me). I asked 'Zuki if he'd go with me but he just said that would be 'lame'. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to go on my own as people always seem to go in groups and I'd be worried they'd stare at me.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 11/05/2018 13:47

I don't get it....

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 11/05/2018 13:50

The volcano hot scubs are usually marketed as self heating, but I suppose that won’t be a problem for you.

Zilla1 · 11/05/2018 13:51

PoorYorick,

I don't get it either, all I want is a simple life with someone special and my Dear 'Zuki and all I get is grief from DSis, DM, neighbours and weirdos.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 11/05/2018 13:52

Is it a film?

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