To ask - If you are well off would you say that helps how you look?

[evergreen7]

Sorry if it's a bit random but I'm just quite curious wether it's a factor of having money or just finding out a bit more about what works.

I have 2 distant friends who have both recently crossed into what I would consider quite wealthy category. - think buying houses over 500k driving brand new expensive cars etc

I've also noticed how different they both look their skin is lovely, the hair always falls great, their clothes look brilliant on them. They were both good looking women and could afford regular hair cuts and getting their nails done etc beforehand anyway but now they look put together and flawless 24/7.
None of them are particularly girly and usually wear minimal makeup but it looks perfect.

I know it's nosy but AIBU to ask you if you consider yourself well off financially would you say it's a large contributing factor to how you look or do you think it can be done on a low budget once you know what you're looking for?

"What can you do on a spa day that you can't do in your own bathroom?"

What a silly question scaryteacher. Sadly, my bathroom doesn't contain a professional Thai trained masseuse with 15 years experience. It doesn't contain an aromatherapy scented rain shower. It doesn't contain staff who serve me fresh juice & delicious coffee or prepare me a gorgeous 4 course lunch. It doesn't contain a nail technician who can give me a perfect manicure. Do I need to go on?

You sound like an old colleague of mine who stoutly maintained that she could give herself just as good a manicure as a trained nail technician. One glance at her smudgy nail polish proved her wrong. It was just very sour grapes.

This is all bollocks. Time is what it takes to look beautiful - whether that's time a nanny or childcare give you, time to go to the gym or get nails done. So yes, it's money, but I'd argue it's money you spend on clawing time back over money you spend on nice make up.

Yes egdehsdrawkcab - I agree looking good/groomed does take a lot of time.

I am finding that as I get older I need more hair appointments to cover the grey etc.

We are relatively high income (high 6 figures) but I don’t look great. It’s about caring enough and making the time for it. I never properly style my hair and I don’t take my make up off properly. I’m tired from having two little kids and I can’t be bothered.
I have friends for whom it’s really important to have good hair and skin and they make the time. Some of them are rich and some not at all.
I really don’t think it’s about money.

I have met a lot of wealthy women over the years, some are the typical ‘country’ types who don’t really bother, their clothes may be expensive, not fashionable.

Then the other ones invest serious time in their appearance- gym, hair dresser, beauty treatments (including plastic surgery) expensive make up learnt from beauticians and expensive fashionable clothes, handbags etc. However, many of these women are very insecure and it is all about keeping their wealthy husband happy ...

My beauty regime has very much been one of falling into bed with my make up on, an eye remover pad and soap and water. Improved about 10 years ago ny No7 3 in one wipes. My nails are dreadful - poor basic shape and very thin, always neatly filed though.

My skin/complexion is my best feature. It's genetic.

I think money has allowed me to eat well and given me time to exercise. I don't spend much on grooming myself though and I were very little make up and use a very basic moisturiser and my hair is curly and sorts its self out, despite being nearly 50 I have hardly any grey. I like good quality clothes though and I tend to spend quite a bit getting clothes that fit just right, especially shoes. So I think I could maintain my look with very little money for a while, my clothes would probably last for a few years - then I'd struggle, especially with cheap shoes.

Maybe I'm alone here but actually I could afford to spend more on makeup etc I just don't . I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to leave the house without a scrap of it on.

The older I get the less make up I wear, seeing so many people with badly applied foundation and it has really put me off. If by some miracle you've chosen the right shade to match your skin, it often looks like a mask, and/or settles into wrinkles and pores...

Very true....and the contouring craze is often quite unsettling on people. Everyone looks heavily and dramatically made up constantly...surely their skin isnt thanking them for it !

And don't even get me started on eyebrows .......

"What can you do on a spa day that you can't do in your own bathroom?"

If you're referring to things that leave a lasting visible effect, then I agree with scaryteacher completely!

You may relax more in a spa and get a massage, which is a waste of money for me unless you're happy paying for just the experience (once you're out the door the money has gone and there's no visible or palpable difference to you). The other stuff (facials, nails, scrubs) can all be very easily done at home.

Run a nice bath with some bubble bath, put a hair masque on (the Kingsley elasticiser is unlike anything I've ever tried before!) and a face sheet mask, enjoy reading a book for a while, then use a body scrub (I love soap and glory for this), shave if you wish, rinse hair, get out, massage in a rich moisturiser, remove sheet mask and massage in remaining product, then go and sit in front of the TV and do a mani pedi.

Bottle of radox: £1
Sheet mask: £4 (for a really good one, there are loads of masks under a fiver in boots these days, experiment to find one that really works with your skin, I use the orange soap and glory sheet mask, and once you've used the mask there's enough in the packet for another application)
Hair masque: £15 for a smallish tube of elasticizer
Magazine: £1
Scrub: £10 Soap and Glory do amazing scrubs for a tenner for a huge tub and on three for two usually, also can buy a travel size
Moisturiser: £2-10 depending on what you use
A good base coat, colour and top coat of polish: £15 (I use Barry m which are fab and a fiver a bottle!)

Total: less than £50 for all of the products, all but the sheet mask can be used many times, you could easily do the above ten times over with the above list.

So after the initial purchase you're realistically able to do everything a spa day could do to visibly improve your appearance in your own bathroom for less than a tenner a pop. And you probably have some of the above kicking around already (a book, bubble bath, hair conditioner as a masque).

I've been on plenty of spa days and I love them, they're great fun and luxurious. But there's absolutely nothing they can or have ever done for me that has made me look any better than doing it at home myself. And having the above done at a spa (facial, hair, nails, scrub) would easily cost upwards of £100-200 as every individual thing is considered an extra 'treatment' and soon adds up!

I don't buy that a spa facial does much more for the appearance of your skin than finding a cheap product that suits your skin well and using it daily at home, either. Facials are relaxing but there's only so much they can do in a one off application, and the beautician knows less about your skin than you do, and as she's only seeing you once she can't alter and modify and experiment the way that you can over a period of weeks at home trying different products (which don't have to be expensive).

I earn a fair amount, but don't care about this sort of stuff, I need to get my hair cut as it's looking quite scruffy (last cut about 18m ago) but haven't got around to it. I don't wear make up except for special occasions. I do spend a lot on key items like nice shoes and sunglasses, but only because I like them. I think it all depends on what you are into and your self-image. I think that feeling well-established can give you confidence and poise and make you look better. So, a lot of the time, you can wear basic gear but if you carry yourself well you look good.

Just to reiterate: I love spa days. But let's not pretend that having the funds to access them is the difference between being able to look well groomed and not. Maybe there's a correlatiom there, that the women who attend regular spa days value their appearance more and therefore spend more time on it daily. But it's not causation. Attending a spa regularly won't deliver anything to your appearance that you can't easily do for yourself (barring things like brow and lash tinting which I consider more of a salon than a spa procedure).

I think people overestimate just how well other people can tell if your clothes/shoes/glasses are expensive andwell made or cheap. The vast majority of people have a clue beyond 'that's a nice top'. Who hasn't worn a cheap item of clothing before and been inundated with compliments about it? It's about having an eye for style and what suits you, and your own personal style. You can dress very well and look polished by shopping exclusively in primark, new look, H&M and Tesco if you want to.

I suspect if there is a difference in how money can improve your appearance it's that people on a a low income might simply not have the time to groom extensively due to the pressures of working multiple jobs, childcare, housework, cooking, whereas people with more money can outsource some of that work and free up time.

Also I know from my own experience of being crushingly poor, it left me feeling so stressed and depressed due to the constant worrying with no end in sight, I can see how in the Maslow's hierarchy sense, when you're primarily concerned with keeping a roof over your head or scraping up the money to eat, it's hard to give a shit about anything else. When I'm depressed it becomes harder to maintain hygiene and makeup goes out of the window, and the frequency with which I wash my hair threatens to dip as it feels so difficult to even get in the shower in the first place.

Of course people with more money can have depression and worries too, it can happen to anyone. But when you have money you have options and more solutions that you don't when you're poor. You can pay for a cleaner or a nanny, afford to divorce from a miserable marriage as you can both afford an individual place to rent or buy, you can reduce your hours at work if work is stressful, or afford to retrain. You can afford therapy privately instead of languishing on an NHS waiting list for months if not years. All of those things add up.

how can people disagree that money impacts looks and health?

Try stepping out of your bubble and go to an area that is struggling. However many prunes or bubble baths people have, they will not be so well or look as well as those in wealthier areas.

This is basic basic stuff and I find it staggering that people simply won’t accept what poverty is and does.

I have a college who isn't particularly wealthy but dies spend time and money on her looks.

She always looks natural, but I can tell when she's had a new product or treatment.

She just won't bloody share her secrets

Money certainly doesn't mean taste.

My SIL divorced again and ended up with a couple of thousand from the settlement. She decided to get straight back in the saddle dating wise and spent most of the £ on herself. Tattooed eyebrows and mole (?), lip fillers, botox, hair extensions and colour...It wasn't a good look.

She liked it though!

I think stress probably affects looks a lot too...of my friends I'm one of the poorer ones but I'm not that stressed (SAHM to 1 DC) compared to say the doctor or school head of dept.

Youth helps too...all the early 20s Eeastern European baristas at my train station kiosks look like supermodels compared to most of the rest of us, including the probably wealthier commuters.

Having a professional hour long massage at a spa day leaves me feeling loose limbed and relaxed for days after, thanks.

If you think you're DIY manicures/pedicures are immaculate looking as those done by a nail technician, then all I can assume is that you have only experienced poorly skilled technicians.

A £1 bottle of Radox? Just no thank you

I think there are very different camps.

I live on the outskirts of a wealthy countryside area. I know wealthy women who drive the prestige cars with flawless hair, nails, teeth and clothes.

I know wealthy women who drive little fun and cute cars who pay more attention to the accessories.

I know wealthy women who are into horses and as such are usually attires in jodhpurs and with sensible hair suitable for helmets.

Then there are the wealthy women who are so rich they can afford to look poor.

The biggest difference for me is being able to buy a wide range of nutritious foods. I eat oily fish (usually salmon) at least once a day, every day and have a variety of fruit and veg with every meal including breakfast. I also buy lots of other seafood for low calorie snacks during the day. My hair, nails and skin especially look healthy before applying any products.

Dull, grey skin from a poor diet cannot be fixed with beauty products.

If you think you're DIY manicures/pedicures are immaculate looking as those done by a nail technician, then all I can assume is that you have only experienced poorly skilled technicians.

Nope, it's just easy to learn to do nails well with a bit of practice and the right tools (a buffing block, good base as top coats). They're not the same as French acrylics sure, but they're identical looking to the gel nails done at salons. I get a lot of compliments on them! And to be honest, even if they weren't quite perfect, I'd still take that for a quid or so per manicure over £30 per manicure from a nail technician.

If you have shaky hands or poor eyesight/poor attention to detail then I agree it might be difficult to do a good job.

As for your comment on radox, I was clearly trying to make the point it's accessible to people without spending a fortune, but if you won't allow something as cheap and nasty as radox to touch your precious skin, I'm sure you have some more expensive products kicking around

You do realise that a bottle of £1 bubble bath is a treat for some people? Sorry to say this, but your response makes you sound like an out of touch snob.