Teenager's washing

[Livedandlearned]

More of a WIBU.

Ds is 17, he loves to wear clothes once and then stick in the wash. I have been washing and ironing 5 shirts every week for him for the last 6 years.

He has now bought more shirts.

WIBU to make him iron his own, as he loves to get them washed as often as possible and I like having weekends that don't involve a massive ironing pile?

Ironing? Fuck that. He wants a clean shirt every day, he irons them himself or goes crumpled.

I don't necessarily agree that every family member should be doing their own washing, just because it's surely (generally) more convenient to do it all together and sort it out after - but he can certainly be helping hang it up/out to dry.

My Dad showed me how to iron my school uniform when I started secondary school, and from that point it was up to me. 17 is crazy-old to be getting his ironing done for him.

I do the family's washing, ten loads a week. Three adults, two older teens.
Anyone that wants anything ironed does it themselves.
Shirts that have hardly been worn get picked out the laundry basket and put back into the clean pile.

Washing them is minimal effort but I'd be making him iron them.
Doing so will make him a more rounded individual and a better partner for someone in the future,.
Really, you'd be doing him a favour!

Any 17 year old is capable of washing and ironing his own clothes - gave up ironing for my children when they were about 12. If he has to do it himself, I think you’ll find they need washing less often!

He should be washing and ironing his own clothes.

It would be far too complicated to have all five of us do their own washing. And wasteful. Youngest is 17.
I have different programmes for different clothes and colours.
From a quick 15 minute cold wash for delicates and dance costumes, dark sports stuff and jeans, or hot for white and cotton stuff.
I don't have a tumble drier, but I am at home all day so can line dry all year round- I watch the weather forecast.

I was doing my own laundry from 15 - and I loved doing it! I was ironing my and my little brothers school uniforms from younger than that, not every week but most weeks. Then from 15 my mum bought me an airer and laundry basket for my room and that was that. I'm so glad she got me to do it as it is definitely another notch toward independence. Don't feel bad at all! Your boy will be grateful when he goes to university at 18 as it's hard enough without having to navigate basic life skills like laundry for the first time!

My DD likes some of her things ironed and she knows that I am allergic to ironing,have been since she was 12.No problem,she does her own.
With washing,I do have to nag to have it sorted and handed over but if she doesn't do that then it doesn't get done.If she wants something washing she knows to rummage through the washing basket and add anything of the same category.

I don't agree with every member of the house doing their own washing. It makes sense to pool the laundry. Same goes for other chores, you wouldn't wash up just your own plate and cutlery.

The answer is in doing a share of the jobs.
It sounds as though he likes cotton shirts, which do need ironing (I iron virtually none of my clothes). Why not just make ironing one of his chores, and while he's at it he does all the ironing which of course just be his or could include other family members. You might get him to put a load of washing on at the weekend as well but not just his own.

Why on earth are you torn about your son having to take some responsibility for himself and performing a basic life skill?
Stop being a martyr.

I don't agree with every member of the house doing their own washing. It makes sense to pool the laundry. Same goes for other chores, you wouldn't wash up just your own plate and cutlery.

Exactly.
DD has a few delicate lacy bits of underwear- I do too, and my mother has a delicate nightdress.
I pot them all on a short cold gentle wash together.
Having us each using the machine to do just a couple of things would be wasteful.
And I can wash my OHs gardening trousers with my son's sweaty gym kit on a hot long wash.

I always find it odd when people say that the children should do their own washing - surely it's really hard to get a full load together that way?

My mum always did all my washing, but i was in charge of everyone's ironing.

Not sure why somebody living in the family home should do their own washing? Or does your DHs also do their own?

I wash all washing together. Cleaner irons and I iron inbetween, clean clothes are then presented to the owner for putting away.

If DD's clothing habits would go to a point it is not the norm than I would ask her to do her own ironing.

A fresh shirt each day is not excessive, neither is maybe changing into a T-shirt after school/work.

I did all my own ironing as a teenager and on my school shirts, I just used to iron the collar and the bit that was visible in the V of my jumper!

(I'm still crap at ironing)

Good grief! My lovely MIL was a widow from a young age and worked full-time, he did all the laundry and ironing from about 11-12 onwards and cooked for his younger siblings. He actually enjoys housework and irons my stuff on the rare occasion, I wear anything that does need ironing. I am gobsmacked that you are even asking. It’s women like you who breed another generation of manbabies!

i expect people living here to see laundry if it needs doing...so if you open the laundry basket and it's full, sort it into piles and make a move to the machine with it

and by laundry I mean everyone's and towels/bedding/teatowels

In reality the children* tend to deal with their own, but are aware it is not good laundry manners to wash your own jeans when other people might have jeans that need to go in as well, so there is communication!

also don't hog the machine, take turns with the dryer and let me know when the end of the washing powder is coming up!
If there is stuff on the line woe betide you if you let rain get on it, and try and bring it in at night!

I am a bit strict about bedding and towels, don't mix/separate sets, 60 wash, try and make sure they get some fresh air on the line, but mostly it works.

*children ...they are all grown ups but malingering to and fro between jobs/college and other people's houses :o

Yes all Dcs do their own laundry as does DH. Why wouldn't he? Tbh DH is more likely to strip the bed and wash it than I am. But then his mum made him do his own laundry long before he hit 17.

Ironing is a waste of life. Nobody should be doing it.

Yes all Dcs do their own laundry as does DH. Why wouldn't he?

Because it's not always the most efficient way of doing things.

If someone needs to wash black jeans, white cotton shirts, a couple of lacy bras, two towels and three black lycra leotards you are hardly going to shove them all in the same wash.

Or maybe you do.

It just seems more sensible to lump similar clothing together- so all the jeans, all the white cottons.

Rarely does one person have enough of one type to make up a load.

A family sharing does though.

17? He should be doing his own laundry and some of the household laundry. AND he's own ironing. Perhaps then he'll be less prissy about his clothes or learning to wash and iron them properly. You'll be doing him a favour, I doubt he's going to find himself a partner, male or female, that's going to do his ironing for him...

I hope your future DIL doesn't resent you for raising a manchild. It's such a common (& justified) cause of friction on this site. It's not too late to sort it out!

At that age I did my own ironing, and my share of laundry. Obvs my own clothes went in as priority but heaven forbid if my Irish mammy caught any of us trying to get away with not doing a full load!

I hope your future DIL doesn't resent you for raising a manchild.

Based on the DC's friends it's seems just as likely that future DIL won't have a clue how to wash or iron either.

At 17 I did no laundry. I now do it all.

It's not rocket science to work it all out.

My OH was living without parents from the age of 14.
Had to do everything for himself.
I don't think he has ever used our washing machine.