I'm feeling pissed off over a conversation with a male colleague. We all work shifts in a low paid job. I work 3 set shifts: 2 nights, 1 day. Because of childcare costs, my partner and I try to work around each other. So he does the childcare 2 evenings and during the weekend. I have 2 children and when the youngest turns 3 and is eligible for 15 free nursery hours I plan to increase hours and am hoping to change jobs.
When hearing I had set shifts and 'only' worked 3 days a week this colleague (who is expecting a baby with his girlfriend soon) asked me what did I do on my days off? I replied I look after my 2 kids. But still be insisted 'what do you actually do? I reiterated i look after my 2 children. But no this isn't good enough for this guy, apparently I should have a 2nd job because he has a female friend with 2 kids who works 3 jobs, so why can't I?
I had to stand there and justify myself and choices to him. When asked if his baby was going to nursery full time he could not answer. I had to brush it off but I was seething inside because: 1. Looking after children isn't 'real work'- a bit worrying from a 32 year old man about to become a father , 2. It felt like I was being called lazy and being judged for my choices. I have friends who are SAHP, or work P T and FT. I would never question their choices as everyone's circumstances are different.
This conversation was at the end of a difficult shift where a male customer was being particularly abusive to me so I don't know if I'm being hypersensitive or not?