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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Going to take me 2 years to pass driving test?!

59 replies

charlottexox · 10/05/2018 13:00

Sorry if I've put this into the wrong category, but I had no idea where to write this!
Basically, last year I was doing some driving lessons with a lovely lady in an automatic car and I have mild cerybal palsy.
It is so mild by looking at me you wouldn't know I have it. The things it effects most is my co-ordination, balance and my ability to retain a lot of important information.

I tried driving in a manual car, but with my CP I really struggled, so switched to an automatic was a lot better.
After my 10th lesson with her she said she always reviews her learners after their 10th lesson. When she reviewed me she stated that it would take me 2 years or more to pass / learn I'm so embarrassed. She did take my CP into consideration as she works with mostly people that have learning disabilities.
She did also state I'm not a natural which was upsetting, because during those 10 lessons I tried my hardest.
I had to stop learning just before Christmas because I couldn't afford it while I was moving house and bringing up a 1 year old. But now it's putting me off ever learning again.
Has anyone got any advice? Or if it took you that longer or longer to learn.

OP posts:

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 10/05/2018 13:05

honestly? I would try to find another teacher if you are not comfortable.

Something that makes a huge difference is the frequency of your lessons: if you take 1 lesson a month, or 1 hour every 2 weeks, yes it can takes months. If you take 4 or 6 hours a week, you'll learn quicker!

Her comments about not being a natural are weird. Did she tell you exactly what you need to work on? What are you weaknesses?

Original poster

charlottexox · 10/05/2018 13:08

@ikeepaforkinmypurse thanks for your reply. She told me that I need to work on my space awareness mostly.
I was having an hour a lesson once a week but 2 occasions where she went on holiday and 1 occasion when DD was un well.

OP posts:

Wildlingofthewest · 10/05/2018 13:09

I took about 2 years to pass my test.
Learned/did test in a manual and I have no medical issues
I’m not a natural driver and don’t particularly enjoy it
I had a few breaks during the 2 years - usually when I couldn’t afford the lessons. I was having 2 lessons a week, 90minutes a lesson.
Don’t beat yourself up. Carry on with your lessons, see how your getting on after your next block of 10. Ask your instructor to go over a mock test with you.

Have you done your theory test??

Original poster

charlottexox · 10/05/2018 13:11

@Wildlingofthewest thank you. No, haven't done my theory yet as she's told me not to even bother until she sees I'm improving much more, then she'll put me in for it. I do have the app on my phone though.

OP posts:

CrispsForTea · 10/05/2018 13:13

I don't have CP or anything, but it took me around 18 months to learn, mainly because A levels, uni etc. got in the way.
Most people wouldn't judge it by time, but by hours of lessons. Tbh if you're only having one hour a week, I could easily see it taking two years, especially if you're not able to practice in between lessons. However, she should have really explained that, and IMO telling someone they're not a natural just knocks their confidence, and so she shouldn't have said it.

If I were you, I would find another instructor (easier said than done, I know, if you want automatic only) and, if possible, do two hours per week at least.

Dancingmonkey87 · 10/05/2018 13:13

I took 8years to pass op due to confidence first instructor was awful, second one I was still not confident and quit. I tried again last January and passed in July my first driving test with no minors. The driving instructor really makes a difference.

Ginkypig · 10/05/2018 13:15

I'd find another instructor.

Mine said similar and then told me it was illegal to put me forward for the test. I was only 17.

Years later I was friends with an instructor and he was upset for me.
He told me that my old instructor did that for two reason.

1, he makes more money because I buy 10-20 more lessons
2, he keeps his pass score high (which give him a better reputation so gets more business) because he only sends people way way after they are ready for the test.

Wildlingofthewest · 10/05/2018 13:16

I think you should look for another instructor. You don’t need your instructor to “put you in” for your theory, you crack on and start looking through it, practise and when you feel ready you go and do it!!
I think you’ve just landed with a shitty instructor to be honest
You need someone who will give you positive & constructive criticism

FullOfJellyBeans · 10/05/2018 13:16

Me Me. I learned to drive at 30 years old and it took my absolutely ages. I had 3 lessons a week and it took me more than a year. I still can't park unless there is space for 3 cars and I don't like long drives or motorways. (I have no disability I'm just not very co-ordinated).

Honestly I'm still a bit insecure about my driving but I'm so glad I did it. Actually I'm proud of myself for persisting and it's been massively useful for my DC that I can drive him to things he'd otherwise not be able to attend (just after passing my test I had to go get my DD from school as she was being sick - so glad I didn't have to try and get her home without the car!).

There's nothing wrong with not being a natural driver - you can't expect to be good at everything. What worked for me was having at least 2 lessons a week (otherwise my performance dipped when there was a gap of a whole week) and finding a good instructor - one that makes you feel comfortable and pushes you within your limits.

MargaretCabbage · 10/05/2018 13:16

It took me a very long time to pass! I’m in my 30s and am not very coordinated (my parents were told I had dyspraxia when I was a child but never went for a formal diagnosis).

I had a year of one hour lessons per week. I stopped when I was heavily pregnant. I then resumed lessons after my baby was born and had six months of two hour lessons per week, and stopped when I was pregnant again and it was clear I wouldn’t pass before I had my baby. I then did a 30 hour intensive course, and my test was cancelled because of bad weather so I had to wait three months so I did another six hour lesson and failed my test (with one major, no minors). I then did another six hours of lessons and finally passed.

I dread to think how much it cost, and there were times when I thought I just wasn’t meant to drive but I carried on. If I made it, so can you.

Confusedbeetle · 10/05/2018 13:18

Don't worry. Plenty of people take 2 years to pass a test. Driving is largely about the experience and millions of hours behind the wheel. People who pass their test quickly cannot possibly have this. You need to take years to learn to read the road and act instinctively. Your mild cerebral palsy mad means you take a little longer but you will be a better driver for it. Hours behind the wheel will develop your spatial awareness. Be in no hurry. Take as much time as you need and don't take the test until you are well ready. Good luck and enjoy the learning. If you are progressing with this instructor just keep going. Its not a race

Sarahplane · 10/05/2018 13:19

I've been learning for two years now too and still not ready for my test. I have taken some breaks in that time and have anxiety so makes me quite a nervous driver. My partner took 2 years to learn as well but then passed his test first time. I think she was probably trying to be honest with you and set your expectations.

Flev · 10/05/2018 13:23

It took me about 18 months - and I had 2 hour lessons twice a week for most of that time. I was so ridiculously nervous that it took me ages to feel confident enough to move onto the next stage. My instructor also commented that it didn't seem to cone naturally to me, but that there was no reason why I shouldn't end up a confident and competent driver in the end, it might just take a bit longer than it did for some people.

He was absolutely right. I passed first time, as we waited until I was definitely ready, and I've now been driving about 15 years, regularly do long motorway drives and (when necessary) tackle unfamiliar cities.

You can do this - but like others I'd say that if you can increase the length or frequency of your lessons that will probably help.

HungryForSnacks · 10/05/2018 13:24

Can you practice in between lessons? I think that's one of the most important things to do.

As for instructor, it does sound like she's trying to get you to buy more lessons! I would keep practicing, start studying for Theory and book that in, and then think about getting another Instructor

Worlds0kayestmum · 10/05/2018 13:28

I would also suggest trying a different instructor. With my first instructor, I didn't progress beyond driving round and round the same back streets and my confidence was shot. Must have been about 6 months. I tried a different instructor who straight away took me out to main roads and within 6 months with him, I had passed my test

TeenTimesTwo · 10/05/2018 13:29

It took my DD with dyspraxia 70-80hrs of driving to learn in an automatic. She did it in 9 months because DH took her out to practice little and often. So I can see that 1-2 years wouldn't be a bad estimate if you are going out weekly at most.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/05/2018 13:38

I would try a different instructor, reviewing after 10 lessons, that's a bit much. Her comments have really knocked your confidence, so the relationship between you is finished really.

3stonedown · 10/05/2018 13:38

If you take it in hours it took me 60 hours to learn to drive (but I did it in 4 months), so if your only having 1 hour a week then it's not going to be massively out if you take into account sickness/holiday, that would take you to about 18 months already. I was doing 2 2hour lessons a week so it was always fresh in my mind if that makes sense so I could see 1 hour a week taking 2 years.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/05/2018 13:43

I am learning to drive, after a 20 year hiatus, in which I failed 4 practical manual tests. I am nervous, anxious, dyspraxic, dyslexic, but my driving instructor is very kind and patient, and each lesson with him I feel more confident. I am learning on an automatic btw due to these factors, and it has made life easier, plus I am older and more life experience than when I first learned at 18.

BlueJava · 10/05/2018 13:51

Find another instructor - preferably one that doesn't stop you from being confident so you pay them more cash for more lessons!

What is a "natural driver" anyway - some that has wheels instead of feet??

Move on and find someone who gets your confidence up and practise all you can with someone else as well when not in lessons.

bellabasset · 10/05/2018 13:53

I married young and didn't bother until I was 30, doing well till my dad died unexpectedly and then a few years later I decided to really go for it. I had 2 hr lessons twice a week or every 10 days, my sister and husband also came out with me and I passed first time. My sister got very nervous and it had taken her 5 tests so I took that on board.

With less than 1 lesson a week - say 35 annually that's around 70 lessons. If you said I had 15 and then a gap for 6 years when I had say 3 x 1hr average lessons a week for 12 weeks I had around 50 hours, possibly less.

Its not that bad looking at it like that but the 1 hr lessons averaging every 10 days isn't giving you the experience and consistency you need. I would look for another instructor who will be more positive with you and save up so you can have more frequent lessons. Don't write yourself off.

harriethoyle · 10/05/2018 13:54

I took 13 months to pass, having at least 2 lessons a week and sometimes 3! So don't let it get you down.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/05/2018 15:01

You can spy for the theory test online, you don't need an instructor, I've just done it, what bull..get another instructor.

Original poster

charlottexox · 10/05/2018 15:17

Thanks for the replies so far every one. Her comments have defintley knocked my confidence! I'm going to look at getting a different instructor too. Another thing while I was learning with her was that I drove on the same stretch of road and roundabout for 9 of those lessons! Until my 10th when she made me drive along a windy, country road - that seemed to be when she told me I wasn't a natural and how long it'd take me

Just a quick question, some of you stated you had dyspraxia. My partner is learning to drive next month and also has dyspraxia, so wondering how long it took everyone with that condition to pass? He's also nervous and scared, given my past experience and it has put him off a bit and he hasn't even got behind the wheel yet

OP posts:

Original poster

charlottexox · 10/05/2018 15:18

Also @Aeroflotgirl when you say "spy online" what do you mean? This sounds interesting!

OP posts:

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