She seems to think she’s helping, by offering solutions to problems that don’t exist, or aren’t her business. She’s always been like this but it’s worse lately, as the older she gets, the more she seems to think she’s entitled to say what she thinks. (This is not an ageist dig, my aunts and dad aren’t like this and they’re the same age)
What she doesn’t seem to get is how she ADDS to the mental load rather than alleviating it. This very morning she’s pushed my buttons with the simplest thing, I commented that DS had forgotten his lunch bag and I’d drop it off and she launched into a “well why don’t you put it where he can’t forget it, like hanging in the front door handle?” So I start to say that he had left it in the car, not the house so then “well why don’t you check he’s got everything before he gets out?/Why doesn’t he have school dinners? Why doesn’t he walk round to auntie Sandra’s at lunch, she would love to have him for lunch, shall I ring and talk to her?” Etc etc. It’s so so exhausting.
I’ve tried to talk to her about it but she doesn’t get how a lot of the time her questions and suggestions are really actually an insult to the intelligence, and she seems to start each phrase with “why don’t you” or “what you should do is...”
An elderly relative died recently, and she was talking to a cousin, and helpfully chimed in “why don’t you move in with Widowed Relative? There’s plenty of space!” Even though it’d mean the cousin completely uprooting her and her children’s lives, and is also none of her business!
She means well but how can I get through to her?