Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To stop chasing this and let the bailiffs come for ex

59 replies

theduchessstill · 10/05/2018 06:04

We've been divorced year, apart for 4. A couple of months ago I accidentally opened a letter for him and it was a parking fine from the council. I passed it straight to him but didn't make the link that his car must be registered to my home, despite his having got that car after he moved out.

A but later another letter came and the fine had gone up. Again I passed it on and texted him asking him to sort the fine and contact the DVLA. Of course he ignored the text and did nothing.

A few days ago another letter came so I opened it knowing it would be about this. It said the debt had been passed to bailiffs, or whatever they're now called and goods could be taken within 10 days. I passed it to him but know he will do absolutely nothing about it. I have been ringing the number on the letter, but it always rings out. I've emailed the address on it telling them he doesn't live here but received no reply. I've also written to the dvla, but I imagine the 10 days will be up pretty soon.

I'm sick of spending so much time trying to sort out his fucking mess again and again. AIBU to stop trying to contact them and just let the bailiffs come? I'm sure I can explain when they're here and they will just go away? I'm out most of the time anyway. The only problem is there're a couple of hours a week when ds (11) is here alone. He's under instructions not to open the door, but I don't know how persistent they'd be. They're not allowed to deal with children are they, but I don't know exactly what would happen.

So sick of ex and his irresponsible shit.

OP posts:

SweetIcedTea · 10/05/2018 07:16

I disagree with advice not to open the post, I dealt with a similar situation by opening it (which you are legally allowed to do if it's to prevent fraud, which includes his debt registered at your address) contacting the organisations concerned and then returning to sender. Return to sender on its own in my experience does nothing, I even had further letters telling him his post had been returned !!

I found anyone who really wanted to contact him would take his mobile number and contact him. I still unfortunately get his post occasionally several years later, because he's too lazy to notify people.

Your decree absolute and consent order should hooefully be enough to show he's no longer there and the house contents are yours.

Chattymummyhere · 10/05/2018 07:26

I had a letter last year from a courts well it came to my house addressed to mr blah blah I opened that letter and rang up straight away. Although I did say my toddler got to the post before me. A man had used my address 6months before to the police when caught breaking into beach huts hours away. I told them he didn’t live here and that he wouldn’t of been living here for some years due to the fact I had lived here for 5years so had clearly lied. They apologied told me to throw the letter the in bin. I never heard anymore. Previous tenants have also racked up a good 25k in debt here I ring the companies and explain I have lived here for X years and if they ask for I give them the agency details.

sashh · 10/05/2018 07:26

I have DMed you.

Oh and contact the DVLA, if his car is registered at your address so is his insurance, meaning he is driving without valid insurance.

As for them getting in and taking things the relevant law says they cannot collect in the presence of a vulnerable person, that includes children and single parents.

Lucked · 10/05/2018 07:36

Is it the council or has the council used a private parking firm? Because the council should be easier to sort.

Incidentally I am in Scotland where the case law for private parking hasn’t been tested so I had letters like that from private eye and ignored them on the recommendation of MSE. Different in England though.

SlowlyShrinking · 10/05/2018 07:52

When i was faced with potential bailiff visits, I was advised to keep all my doors and windows closed and locked because they’re allowed to gain entry by any means they can

Snugglywithmycat17 · 10/05/2018 08:16

I’m not being a twat thank you! How rude are u???
It was an honest question. I have a child with special needs so my situation is different. I don’t know what age is ok. But I thought I’ve seen posts on here before about that age being too young?
Had nothing to add about the debt collectors as others had said what I would of. It was only out of concern.

Flowerpotbicycle · 10/05/2018 09:02

@Snugglywithmycat17 it came across as judgy and has absolutely nothing to do with the original post

Heatherjayne1972 · 10/05/2018 09:15

I moved anything valuable/ mine out of the house long before any bailiffs came for my ex’s stuff
Just don’t let them in. Under any circumstances

Jarstastic · 10/05/2018 09:34

As you already have the details, in your situation I would

write to DVLA and the debt collectors, state by Recorded Delivery on the letter itself, as well as send it so (inexpensive for letter, no reason not to, and the organisations take it more seriously)
send photos to your ex
put the letters back in envelopes, tape them up and return to sender
send every new thing back return to sender as quickly as possible

Dungeondragon15 · 10/05/2018 09:41

You don't need to stress or go through the rigmarole suggested by some posters. Someone who lived in my house had huge debts too. If bailiffs turn up at the door, you just need to show them your divorce papers and also give them his new address. Also, contact the DVLA. Mostly I just received phone calls from debt collectors so I just gave them his new address too - they didn't phone again.

Dungeondragon15 · 10/05/2018 09:44

Also return post to sender stating that he is no longer at the address.

Madamswearsalot · 10/05/2018 09:54

When you return to sender for stuff like dvla and council letters it tends to go to a separate company to be dealt with so it can take a while to be processed so letters can keep coming for a bit.

Definitely write direct to the DVLA including the letter(s) you've received and a note saying that your exP no longer lives with you and with his new address. Do it ASAP and send a copy (registered post) to the bailiffs too to cover all basis.

placebobebo · 10/05/2018 10:03

Ring the DVLA and tell them the situation. Ask for a direct contact to name on the letter you send them registered post outlining the same details as in your phone call.
If bailiffs do turn up. Do not let them in. Tell them you are going to get your ID. Then go out to them, closing the door behind you and show them your ID and pass on his address. They will then leave you alone.

NordicNobody · 10/05/2018 10:23

I don't know what the letters said so I may be way off base, don't take this as fact... but last year due to a mix up (on my part) I didn't realise I had some council tax outstanding until it had already progressed to the "bailiffs coming tomorrow" stage. To get to that point it had had to go to court to issue a liability order against me. I looked it up online (again, doesn't make it a fact) but everything I read said a liability order does not affect your credit rating.

Beaverhausen · 10/05/2018 10:30

I would get it sorted asap. Because he deny is registered to your addressbthey will collect goods from that address unless you can prove otherwise.

GaraMedouar · 10/05/2018 10:56

When my ExP left his letters kept coming here despite me keeping on returning to sender. I ended up opening them and phoning up. I had a letter from a solicitor and it was chasing £5k debt which has gone to court - I rang the solicitor and spoke to him who was very nice and annoyed that ExP had not informed them he had left my address. I was worried that the bailiffs would come here chasing .

bellabasset · 10/05/2018 10:59

For your peace of mind do a check of your credit rating and see if anything else is listed at your address. If so contact them and change the address.

I think the advice to have prepared a letter is a good one. It can be handed over without the need to become involved in any discussions.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 10/05/2018 11:03

Defo contact DVLA. They’re shit hot on this sort of stuff.

When we moved in here we kept getting post for previous owners, including their SORN certificate. You can’t SORN a car at this address as there’s no off street parking. But they’d obviously decided to continue registering stuff at our address for some reason as this was the second or third year we were there.

Anyway I called them and sent the letter back (have previously not wanted to get them in trouble and assumed they wouldn’t do it a second year!). The woman on the phone said they would sort it and I never heard from them again.

Likejellytots88 · 10/05/2018 11:06

You need to email them (debt collectors) proof of your address, a bill with your name on it. And if you can get one a letter with his name and address on would be good or just clarify in the email what his address is.
I had this problem when I moved house, whoever lived here before me had three different debt collector letters come to my address in as many weeks. I opened as it said urgent on the envelope and immediately got out my water bill and tenancy agreement, took pictures and emailed to the companies - always ask for a reply to confirm receipt of email - I got a reply from each within a week of sending saying thanks will update our system. I had no forwarding address for the man neither did my landlord but they accepted that I didn't know who he was or where he lived and could prove how long I'd lived here. So you should be fine since you know his new address.
Also definitely write to the DVLA informing them of his new address too since he is clearly incapable of doing so.
If baliffs do turn up don't open the door just show through the window or somewhere a bill with your name on, tell them where he lives and walk away.

Confusedbeetle · 10/05/2018 11:08

You need to contact the debt collectors to extricate yourself. If the fine is in his name the bailiffs can seize anything unless you can produce receipts to say it is yours alone. If he was not living there at the time you should try to prove the debt is not connected to your address. You need advice from an expert

tillytrotter1 · 10/05/2018 11:12

We get phone calls since we moved in 8 years ago for various people with Spanish sounding names. I explain, if they let me, that they don't live in the house, have never lived here, the previous people lived here over 50 years, and if it was about money then they're in a very long queue. The address they have isn't ours and isn't in the village although one call was from a High School in a neighbouring town and they'd been given our number quite recently.

SluttyButty · 10/05/2018 11:16

If the bailiffs turn up and you say he doesn't live there then they'll ask if you have a current address for him. You give them that address and they leave.

We've had bailiffs here for the previous occupants and it appears she still has her car registered at this address because we're getting dvla letters for her.

When the bailiffs did turn up looking for one of them he was extremely polite, I showed him details and apologised for not knowing a forwarding address but pointed them in the right direction to find out.

I'm expecting more to be knocking soon judging by the various people sending official letters from different companies despite me returning a gazillions letters to sender but I'm fully prepared to deal with it now after taking advice from people on mn.

Dungeondragon15 · 10/05/2018 12:22

If the fine is in his name the bailiffs can seize anything unless you can produce receipts to say it is yours alone.

Not if OP shows that she is divorced and gives them his current address. They aren't going to force entry and start taking things if they have reason to believe he doesn't live there anymore!

Dungeondragon15 · 10/05/2018 12:24

If the bailiffs turn up and you say he doesn't live there then they'll ask if you have a current address for him. You give them that address and they leave.

That was exactly my experience. There is a lot of scaremongering on this thread from people I suspect have no personal experience of bailiffs..

Rawhh · 10/05/2018 12:28

Bailiffs can either be very nice about things or very aggressive.

You may be lucky and get a nice bailiff who takes your word, council tax bill as proof you live there and leaves.

You may however get one who climbs through your kitchen window whilst you are on the loo, and starts listing your belongings going through every room whilst you are desperately trying to prove your ex husband doesn't live there.

I would contact the DVLA and let them know your ExH has been using your adress.

Then send a recorded letter to the bailiff company with a copy of your divorce papers, DVLA notification and house bill advising them where your Ex now lives and informing them that as you have now proven your Ex doesn't live there that any further pursual of this debt from your address with be treated as harrasment and you will seek legal action.

You don't want to get to the point they gain entry into your home.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread