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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Money, freedom, time - what should I do?

3 replies

justdriftingby · 09/05/2018 20:18

I need some advice and ideas and I know this is totally a first world problem. NC because very outing.

My work means I dont have to be anywhere in particular. Its all on my computer. I was an expat kid and never settled anywhere. Ive always been rootless and kept on moving.

Now Im with my DP and I couldnt be happier. I love him and after many failed relationships, I think hes the one for me.

The problem is hes the opposite. Hes really rooted and we live in the town he grew up in. Although ive done my best to carve out a life for myself here, Im not being true to what I am and I feel stifled. His job means he needs to stay here. I wouldnt want to take him away from this place, his community means a lot to him.

I find that if I go too long without getting out, I start feeling depressed and trapped and teary.

I need to find some way of balancing my life so I can go away, but also continue with my life here.

Does anyone have any ideas of how I can do this? What should I do? Go off for a week every two months or something? Go somewhere random and take my computer? Something more structured? I just feel a bit aimless and unsure of what to do. I dont want it to feel like Im just checking out of my "real life" if you get me. DP is really supportive and tells me to do what I need to do, he doesnt want me to feel held back which is sweet of him.

I dont know. I need some ideas. Stories of people who have a similar situation? Or if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

I feel the wider world calling me but I dont know where to go or how to approach it.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 09/05/2018 20:21

Do you want children?

Dontforgetyourtowel · 09/05/2018 20:32

Could you go away for a month at a time and then be back for a month and so on? Or would you miss each other too much?

nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 09/05/2018 20:48

I’d buy myself a camper van and go see new places regularly - a week a month sounds ideal. Or just buy a good tent. Many campsites have WiFi now, or find good cafes etc to work in.

I used to do a similar thing. When I first got together with DH, I moved in quickly but spent 2/3 nights a week away doing my hobby. He spent every other weekend away doing his. Both of us had particularly all consuming hobbies! Unusual, but it worked for us and we were really happy like that.

Have DC now so bit different ( my freedom curtailed, his not so much!) but worth thinking about if you are both up for it.

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