To expect him to be honest about 'us'?

[ursulabear2]

A few weeks ago I started seeing someone. He's perfect, caring, kind, emotionally open, funny, intelligent and pretty much everything I've been looking for.
BUT, he appears to be unable to be honest with other women about his relationship with me. Once we agreed to see each other exclusively I told anyone I had been dating that I was now in a relationship and I deleted my dating profile.
As far as I'm aware he has indeed deleted his Tinder profile, but he still hadn't told the other woman he was dating (and sleeping with) that he's with me now.
The story with them is this... the work in the same field and see each other through work now and then. They've slept together about 10 times in the previous 3 months or so.
I says that he hasn't seen her to have 'the chat' since we started seeing each other. And that when he does he'll tell her it has to stop, but he probably won't tell her about me.
Is that fucked up? Or am I expecting too much?

@ursulabear2 he’s hedging his bets. If he wanted to tell them, he’d tell them. But he hasn’t.

Is this the same bloke who vanished for a few days?

I wouldn't say he's emotionally open or kind if he wants to keep you a secret.

Yes, one and the same. Although his 'vanishing' for almost 48 hours did indeed have a good explanation and I failed to check my emails from him.

In my opinion yes. I was in a similar situation except we worked together every day and he had not slept with the girl she just thought he was interested in her. But when we started going out he put her straight and she got very jealous and is telling everyone he hurt her etc etc but I don't care.
Anyway; if he is committed to you I don't see why you deserve nothing less than that.

He's not perfect or emotionally open - he's hedging his bets. Also, since this relationship has lasted only 'a few weeks', I can't say I blame him. You're expecting way too much way too early IMHO.

A few weeks is a very short time, but if you have agreed to be exclusive and neither party has been pressured into it, then of course he needs to tell other people he has been shagging.

He will have mobile/email numbers for these women.

He could do it very easily. He just doesn't want to.

This is what I'm thinking. He's hedging his bets. I deserve so much better than this... time to get rid of him I think.
I know it's only been a short while, but it's all moved very fast and I think he should be honest with other women if he expects to spend every night in my bed.

You do deserve better OP. I’m glad you know it too!

How can he be “perfect” when behaving like this?!

Well maybe rather than finishing it, just slow down?!

If you agreed to be exclusive what he tells ex girlfriends isn’t really your business - you either trust him or you don’t.

I am disappointed to read this after following your last thread, it is a sudden turn around

He came over last night and we spoke about slowing things down. I also told him my concerns over what appears to be his bet hedging. He listened and has said he will be more honest about us in future to the other woman.
Then he offered to show me his emails, which was weird. Obviously I declined. I think that was his way of trying to show me that he has nothing to hide.

Or he's been on and deleted any offending emails and wants to get his good boy points for having a clean inbox for his efforts.

He keeps waving his red flags for you.

Yeh, sorry, red flag city going on here. There is no "more honest" there is just honest. I didn't read your other thread but it sounds like this is the second problem you've had with him in a few weeks. Personally I'd either slow things down massively or bin it off completely. Probably the latter if I'm honest, he sounds like nothing but drama.

FFS! Get a clue. He's sleeping with both of you. He's not perfect, no one is, but this one is a liar, too. Get rid.