To want more help around the house?

[SarahH12]

I am signed off sick at the moment since I had a car accident last weekend. Over the weekends DP was great, did all the cooking, dishes and shopping as I wasn't able. But when he was in work last week and now he's back in work after the bank holiday I'm expected to do everything. The washing has built up so I know I need to do that. Hoovering, general cleaning, cooking, doing the dishes etc.

AIBU to want more help? I know he's working full time and I'm not but I'm not signed off for the fun of it. When he's been off ill I've come home from work and done everything as I accept when he's unwell he can't do as much.

I think you'd need to give more details about your injuries tbh. Broken leg means you can't do much, but a bit of bruising/whiplash (painful as they both are) don't stop you doing stuff within reason

When he's been off ill I've come home from work and done everything as I accept when he's unwell he can't do as much.

There’s your answer! Of course YANBU

Just ask him.

Does he actually expect the hoovering etc to be done or are you just assuming he does?

I can’t imagine injuries that would severe enough to mean you’re signed off work but mean you’re able to do housework just fine. You’re supposed to be at home recovering so no YANBU.

Who normally does these household tasks? Has he stopped doing his ‘share’ because he thinks you can do it as you’re in the house all day or do you usually do everything alongside work?

As said before it does depend on your injuries.

And the other key - have you actually spoken to him about it?

And if it was all done over the eeekend then how much hoovering/general cleaning is actually needed?

@Sirzy over the weekend he did the cooking, dishes and shopping. None of the other stuff got done.

Injuries were whiplash, sprained shoulder and bruised ribs.

@TroubledLichen - normally I end up doing the hoovering, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting. We split the cooking and the dishes. I suppose I just thought he may help more as if I was well enough to do everything I'd be well enough to be back in work.

@NickNacky - I guess I'm partially assuming as he normally gets annoyed and frustrated when the house isn't tidy.

But has he been annoyed since you have been injured (I’m glossing over that it annoys him any other time)!

Does he have a physical job which means he's knackered? You should be getting more help but I could understand if he had a physical job as was exhausted too

Well he’s obviously used to you doing the lion’s share so you probably need to ask him specifically if you want him to get out the hoover. Why it would be seen as ‘helping’ you and not taking equal responsibility for his home I don’t know though... and car accident aside what’s up with you doing what sounds like most of the cleaning and him getting annoyed/frustrated when the house isn’t tidy

@HateTheDF no he doesn't have a particularly physical job. He's about 90% office based.

@Nicknacky yes he got annoyed at the weekend. Not specifically about the hoovering but about the spare room (which has become the communal dumping ground!)

TroubledLichen yes true I just thought he'd do more as I'm unwell. Maybe I just need to be more forthcoming.

I think an element of it is I feel maybe I should be doing more so feel bad asking him. My ex never did anything around the house and if I asked him to help it just ended up in a big row so I got used to doing everything on my own. And growing up Mum never did anything (no cooking, cleaning, shopping, anything really) and Dad never asked her so I feel I'm causing issues by expecting him to do his fair share.

I'm hoping I'm well enough to be back in work next week (one can hope!) Whenever I do go back though if he doesn't start helping more we'll be having a conversation about it.