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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think fuck it! Fuck it all!

37 replies

Polkadots72 · 09/05/2018 14:31

As some of you will know from my previous thread I've just come back from holiday.

Dh is still off work and I've had loads of things to do including a food shop, washing coming out my ass also trying to De clutter the house dds toys before her birthday as well and general house work. I will admit I am very particular with how i like my home to be but I've had no help at all since we got home dh just sits around on his phone or goes out leaving me with dd and as soon as i get one thing done she either comes along behind me and wrecks it or trashes something else.

Today I've blown my top told dh to enjoy his peaceful kid free day and me and dd will stay home and wreck the house together and eat junk seeing as I can't get any help or support to be able to go food shopping (I live in a masonette so can't carry dd and shopping up stairs safely or leave her in the car)

I know I'm coming across as dramatic but it just pisses me off so much and I'm fed up with the selfishness. The house is wrecked we have no food shopping in apart from some frozen shit yoghurts and cereal.

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 09/05/2018 14:33

YANBU. You have inspired me to say FUCK IT ALL! too, to my family (esp. DH). FUCKERS!

KinkyAfro · 09/05/2018 14:36

Tell him to get off his arse and go do the food shopping.. ..and to take your daughter

Singlebutmarried · 09/05/2018 14:36

I’m sat currently in a pile o shite, I’ve made a gap so I can see the tele.

I’ve picked up 8 pairs of shoes (none of which mine) and put on the shoe racks.

I’ve hoovered the sofa (so I can sit down) and nownive stopped. The piles of shore are all miscellaneous plastic shite the child has foraged from somewhere. The shelves are also full of shite, none of this shite is mine. Why do I need to keep picking it up.

I’m going to shove it all in a bag and lob it in the shed, then please ignorance.

If you want to know where your shite is, put it away yourself.

Original poster
Polkadots72 · 09/05/2018 14:37

Selfish inconsiderate fuckers!

OP posts:
Original poster
Polkadots72 · 09/05/2018 14:41

Dd has now trashed the house dh decided to come and collect her after this happened I've left all the shit down staires and I'm back in bed. He asked me what they would have for dinner him shit with sugar on. Fed up of trying to run this home nicely for everyone single handed he asked if all the mess is staying that way and I said unless he cleans it yes what's the point im fed up with picking up and tidying the same crap every day those fuckers have no respect.

OP posts:
holycityzoo · 09/05/2018 14:46

I've given up too today. Youngest is being clingy, 4 year old is whingy. We went to the local shopping centre this morning which was hell as they were both playing up. So now I've given up.
I seriously cannot be arsed today I'm curled up on the sofa with them both watching blaze and his fucking monster machines surrounded by devastation.

TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 15:00

he asked if all the mess is staying that way and I said unless he cleans it yes

Good for you. And what does he say to that?

Gemini69 · 09/05/2018 15:07
Flowers
BlackeyedSusan · 09/05/2018 15:09

how oild is dd?

can she walk upstairs if you hold a hand?

a large rucksack is your friend (proper walking one with waist and chest strap. if so, carry the shopping up in that in batches. unpack and return to car if you are allowed to park.

(not that you should fucking have to do it all alone)

I live on the second floor too. so have experience. try carrying a 38kg kid up the stairs when nhs thinks she does not need crutches and can not walk nor bum shuffle and the other one still has to go to school

bringincrazyback · 09/05/2018 15:10

YANBU. Men can be so selfish.

PollyPelargonium52 · 09/05/2018 15:17

I felt like that after a 5 day 'break' last year. Came home and did nothing but bomb about for 2 days.

Is it flippin worth it!!

ChocoholicsAsylum · 09/05/2018 15:18

Can I join? I have a very Lazy OH who stays at home and does fuck all while I work... he does cooking and thats about it with the odd time he will skim the house for dishes and put the dishwasher on!
I said he better fuck up or he is out. I am hoaching with depression and self loathe. On my days off I am gutting the place, doing school run, shopping etc... apparently as I drive its easier if I do things. I booted his arse on a bus to get the kids!

Well done OP xx

HappyEverIftar · 09/05/2018 15:23

Do you think part of your DHs reluctance (I say that generously) to help around the house, is because you are particular in how you like things done? I'm not blaming at all, just wondering.

My friend is in a similar situation with 3DCs and it's completely overwhelming her to the point where she's having to go for counselling. She likes things done a certain way but can't bring herself to let DH take over, so she gets herself into a spiral and her kids run rings around her and she can't cope. You have my sympathy, it must be rotten. Takeaway and a hot bath with the door locked tonight Smile

LanguidLobster · 09/05/2018 15:25

I frequently feel like that, fuck away

malpa · 09/05/2018 15:29

"just come back from holiday"
"Dh is still off work"
"I've had loads of things to do"
"dh just sits around on his phone or goes out"

If hubby is acting like he's still on holiday then why can't you and dd? Fuck it, I say. Fuck it all!

adaline · 09/05/2018 15:32

I would get up early, leave DD with her dad and go out for the day. Don't do the food shop (or if you have to, do it on your way home in the evening), and just go and have a day to yourself.

If it's okay for him to fuck off and leave you at home with DD, then surely he should be happy for you to do the same thing? I would also switch your phone off, and leave a note saying you'll be back at X time, don't disturb me.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 09/05/2018 15:37

sounds like you are single parent with two children

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/05/2018 15:37

I’m sat currently in a pile o shite, I’ve made a gap so I can see the tele

I have found my people! Grin Grin Grin

The only thing I would add to that is that I have a cup of coffee also.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/05/2018 15:48

It really is worth throwing out (or leaving) men like this. Because they add to the mess and they add to the mental strain - when they are actually there in the house, yet contributing nothing and treating you like a servant, you are constantly consumed with resentment, mixed with bouts of hope that you can somehow find the right 'reasonable' argument to make them do their share. Sadly there is no reasonable argument. They know that you are angry, miserable and exhausted, but as far as they are concerned you are not a person, you are a 'woman' and therefore all the shitwork is your problem.

chocolatesun · 09/05/2018 15:50

Shop online. Who goes to the supermarket these days anyway?

chocolatesun · 09/05/2018 15:51

And YANBU 😉

ittakes2 · 09/05/2018 16:01

I've learnt life is happier if I book an online shop to be delivered when we get back from holidays.

MiggledyHiggins · 09/05/2018 16:15

It's why I insist on the entire family doing a massive clean up and leaving the house pristine before going on holiday. Am I fuck going to ruin my post-holiday relaxed state of bliss by doing mounds of housework. You are depressed enough returning home without tackling a pigsty.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/05/2018 16:18

Well people will treat you as badly as you let them to be honest.

Online shopping is your friend when you have kids.

coconutbun · 09/05/2018 16:48

I would tell DH if the mess bothers him that much, he knows where to find you to discuss tackling it as a team effort. Until then, feet up and relax! Brew

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