To say people shouldn't think it's fine to disturb me in the work day just because I'm self-employed?

[bringincrazyback]

More of a rant really, but I'm interested to get views. I'm self-employed and work from home. Already have to deal with multiple interruptions in my day, every day, because my elderly parents live with me and DH and have admitted they 'forget I work', and manage to forget this every single day. Which means I have to feel like the wicked witch of the west every time they ask for something and I remind them that it will need to wait until I'm not working unless it's urgent, and have to see their faces fall every time. (Just for a bit of clarity: neither of them has dementia or anything like that, some physical health and mobility issues which I help them with regardless of the time of day and don't mind doing, but it means that time I've carved out for work really does have to be spent working as I rarely get the opportunity to put in a full day. And I do have an office with a door I can close, but I have to leave it occasionally, to make drinks etc, and this is when I invariably get buttonholed. I am very grateful to have both parents still alive, I count my blessings every day, but I still need to earn a living!)
Also on committee of local theatre group and people there have made it clear they think my work is infinitely flexible and that it's fine to disturb me any time they feel like it with group-related business, or ask me to do things because 'they can't do it, they'll be at work', or physically turn up here during work hours, even if I've said I'm busy, and then expect to hang around talking when I've said I can't stop work. I do try to tactfully 're-educate' people but it falls on deaf ears. I was in a salaried office job for a year, and this all stopped while that was going on, and promptly started again when I went back to freelancing. AIBU to think it's inconsiderate/disrespectful/plain selfish, as well as being somewhat insulting because it implies that they don't think the work I do is real work simply because it's done from home?? Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. LOL

I have the exact same problem (I live in the same street as my parents and I work from home), but for a few years while my house was being built, I lived with them.

I solved it by getting a mini fridge and kettle for my work room, so I didn’t need to leave the room as often. And by having a work phone and private phone - friends/groups I’m in/family do not have work phone number. So, they can only call or message my personal phone and I just don’t answer during work hours. I will read the messages or listen to voicemails incase it’s an emergency, but if it’s not, I ignore until work is finished.

OP. I work from home 1-2 days a week. I ignore all calls/texts that are not work related. I do not let anyone over the doorstep if they turn up, which rarely happens anyway.

If my mum says "are you at home", I say "no, I am working".

You just need to be really firm. But by responding to calls/messages you are interacting with people, and then they expect to respond. A voice mail as suggested saying that you will call back later, is a good idea

Id be so tempted to shut the curtains and put a key in the inside of the front door so they cant open it

Yes, I get this. I think because working for self, from home is more flexible in many ways, many people - people who haven't done it - think that the flexibility is infinitely elastic.

I get around it by being really boundaried. I'm lucky in that when I'm working, I'm often out - I'm a personal trainer - but when I'm at home writing up people's plans or replying to emails I am very clear that interruptions are not welcome. Door closed, do not accept offers of hot drinks from others in the house, headphones on etc.

The situation with your parents is tricky, because they're in the house and evidently want to spend time with you. I think you just have to be a bit bloody-minded about it, and not feel guilty about it. Tell them in the morning that you've got to work straight through, but you'll be free to have a chat over lunch or something. Keep the office door closed and be clear if you pop out for a drink that you can't stop. If you give in, they'll 'forget you work' the following day. In a way, you reinforce this behaviour by acquiescing to it each time.

The theatre group are ignoring your boundaries and need to take an almighty step back. How about setting up a separate email address, purely for theatre stuff, and having an appropriately worded OOO that's on pretty much all the time? Something along the lines of 'Thanks for your email. I'm working on client business at the moment, but will respond within 48 hours.' With the phone, ignore any calls that come from those people. Or again, have a second phone - a cheapy would do it - that you keep switched off/to silent during the day and check twice a day?

If it were me, I'd also explicitly ask them not to visit me at home. I wouldn't answer the door if they came round! (It's very rude, by the way, to 'pop round' when they know you're working.)

I don't answer the landline when I am wfh (unless I want to!).

I think you need to stop engaging with people when you're working. I would second the suggestion of a separate space, either in the garden or renting a desk in a shared office space if needed.

I'm with you on this - i get this ALL THE TIME and it infuriates me!

DP will ring me up and ask me to "just send a quick bill off for him"

my dad will ask me if i can collect him from the garage where hes just dropped his car off for an MOT - i say sorry dad im working - his response "but you're working from home!" which obviously means i can do what i want when i want.
I'm not self employed either, i do actually work for a company so it would really be taking the mick if i did just up and leave when i wanted!

One of my "friends" used to know my working from home days and would turn up unannounced to moan about his latest online date.
I remember the one day i decided not to answer the door as i was in a meeting so he climbed over the back gate and let himself into my house and was shouting for me whilst i was on the phone to my boss!
I went completely nuts over that! His response "oh but you're at home so i thought it would be fine!"

Stop saying I'm busy
Stop saying I work from home etc

Discuss it in the same terms you did when your office was at an office and not your home.

If someone asks you to do something don't say I can't because I'm busy or "working" say sorry I can't talk right now I'm at work.
It's a subtle difference but it is different.

If they say oh but it won't take long just say sorry I can't really talk just now I'm at work Susan/john il call you when I'm finished work.

Separate phone numbers/ physical phones for private and work use? Don't give non work people work number (except if necessary/ applicable DC's school) and don't answer or check messages on private phone while working.

I’m not sure how to solve the issue with your parents but for the theatre group ignore the texts and phone calls then if you need to reply do do after 5.30 saying “only getting back to you now - work was hectic “ etc and do that every single time.
You’re working just as much as they are

I get this all the time. I work 3 days a week so DS is at nursery those 3 days. My parents and PIL CONSTANTLY asking if they can come and see DS on, say, a Tuesday, when I work.

I work from home and have never had this problem. Maybe it's because I was in an office for many, many years before I started working remotely.

I just don't answer personal things during working hours.

Your friends sound very selfish and ignorant.

I used to invent conference calls to deal with this.
Anyone telephoning or dropping in would be told ‘I’m due on a conference call in 5 minutes”. I actually had about 2 phone meetings a week but used to use the excuse at last twice a day.

Could’ve written this myself after another morning of constant interruptions. Friends/family just don’t seem to get it.

My favourite is, ‘well I thought you could come for a coffee (more annoying, I’ve come to you for a coffee) so you can have a break.’ Yeah ok Janet, I’ll just pop into your office at [insert random time] and expect you to just leave for a ‘break’. I’m very good at my work time/break time and don’t need your help thankyou very much. Plus, I know It’s nothing to do with me needing a break and more that I’m at home so you see me as ‘free’ whenever you are.

Ugh.

Also on committee of local theatre group and people there have made it clear they think my work is infinitely flexible and that it's fine to disturb me any time they feel like it

You need to make it clearer that it is NOT fine. Ignore their texts, or reply 'I'll respond after work hours.' If they phone, say 'I don't have time now; please call back at x o'clock.' If they persist, tell them 'I'm hanging up now' and do so. If they turn up (and how fucking rude is that?!), just don't let them in.

Basically, stop being tactful and be clear and firm. If you say a flat-out 'no' and people act like whipped puppies, it's their problem.

If you say 'no' and offer an alternative time instead, you've done all you reasonably can.

I remember the one day i decided not to answer the door as i was in a meeting so he climbed over the back gate and let himself into my house and was shouting for me OMG! We must have the same friend. 😆 I actually sat watching my friend, on the security camera, climb over the locked gate and batter the back door. The dogs went fucking nuts and so did I, when I answered the door. it hasn’t taken YEARS for me to get through to him.

Could you rent office space somewhere? If so, I'd do that, and get another mobile for work-related stuff, only give that number out to work contacts and switch your mobile off during work hours.

Please could you share what work those of you work from home do? Sounds fascinating, I'd love to be able to work from home.

Could you rent office space somewhere?

Pay through the nose for space just because some dense/rude people won't give her peace?

Iron, I work with books.

You are too polite Op. You need to be much more blunt. on't respond to emails/texts/calls from the theatre group until you have finished your working day. Don't answer the door to anyone & perhaps you could remind your parents each morning that you will not be free to help them until lunchtime or end of day whichever suits you best. You are going to have to be much tougher. Good Luck.

Ironfloor269

I am an editor for a scientific journal. Our HQ is in the Far East.

I can work wherever there is internet.

Could you rent office space somewhere?

I wouldn't go as far as renting, but going into a serviced office for a couple of afternoons would help the OP go into the right mindset and help her saying "no" to people bothering her during her office hours.

I never had similar problems, I just ignore the door or the phone, but I work from home to escape people from my office

I am in recruitment.

I run a dog daycare/holiday business.

In my town we have a lot of "hot desk" type work spaces where you can either rent a desk for a certain amount of time a week, or some you can just turn up and use the work space. I think our library also has this sort of feature. I know it would be an added expense but could make your time a lot more fruitful! Hope you sort something out xx

Wow, I wish I could do a job that could be done from home.

I work at home 4/5 days and people think the same of me. Pisses me right off.myes, working at home does give me flexibility but not for your benefit thank you very much!!!