To think that he has crossed a red line

[rshipnchanger]

Name change and all that. I'll try to make this quick.

Was chatting to a guy from online, swapped phone numbers and chatted for two weeks before meeting up.

During the texts he said several times "I'm not chatting to anyone else, once I find someone I like I only chat with them. I'm old fashioned like that"

Or words to that effect saying he's only texting me.

Have now had a few dates and quite like him, so showed a friend his photo. Turns out she was chatting to him during the time he said he wasn't chatting to anyone else.

He hasn't chatted to her since we've met up and their conversation fizzled out.

But still, I'm pretty pissed off that he has definitely lied to me. I'm not annoyed that he chatted to other women before we met, I would expect that. But its the fact he went out of his way to make me feel special and then turns out it was just a lie.

Basically, aibu to think he's crossed a red line by lying so early on?

Such a pointless lie, too. YANBU to be put off!

He was saying that to check you weren't chatting with anyone else.

I would get rid of him. He obviously has no problem lying to you, even when there is no need to.

He volunteered that information which is clearly a lie. He spun you a line, you believed him and then found out the opposite. Not worth your time IMO.

I don’t see an issue with it tbh, once you had actually met up all conversation with your friend fizzled outanyway.

Until you have actually met in person then it means nothing anyway.

Yes he has but what you do about it depends to me on circumstances.
How much do you like him? I have been dipping into OLD for a few months now on and off. I never meet anyone nice. Most are after “fun”. I very rarely click with anyone so I’d be reluctant to write off someone for something that happened before we met. Especially as he stopped chatting to your friend once you did meet. If you couldn’t give two hoots about him, then yes just ditch him.

Then there’s the circumstances of him stopping the chat with your friend. Did he stop messaging her? Or was he still trying to pursue it and she cut him off? I mean I know you say it fizzled out but on who’s side first? To me that would be a factor.

Then, if I felt like it might be worth continuing, I would straight out ask him why he lied. You found out in a perfectly innocent way so I would just ask, as his reaction would also tell me a lot.

Yep. If he hadn't said anything and you discovered he's been chatting to other people, no problem. The fact that he purposely lied shows that he's no problem with lying so probably would have no qualms lying in the future.

Thanks, honestly not sure I can be bothered to engage with him again. He's lied and for no purpose at alll

I think I'd give him one more chance if he was appealing in other ways. Better to take everything with a pinch of salt in the early stages of OLD anyway - everyone's trying to make the best impression they can, which might well mean stretching the truth a bit. Time enough to take one another seriously when you've met up a time or two or had a shag.

You've known him two weeks and found out he's a liar. Move on.

if he lies about little things, you can bet your boots he'll lie about bigger things too.

You don't have a problem with him being in contact with others, you probably expected that but you do have a problem that he lied to you.

This early it's a bad sign.

He offered that information (in my opinion) so that you would reciprocate this 'exclusive' gesture and cease any other chats with anyone else you may be having.
While he was chatting to other women.

Bin for the double standard alone, never mind the lying to manipulate your own actions!

Glad majority think hes a waste of space, tempted to just block him and never say anything again!