to tell dd not to throw food?

[Scabbersley]

I am pretty sure that I am not bu but interested to know what others would have done.

Dd (12) went to a meal out for end of season sports. Her team all sat together, parents on different tables. Everyone had a good time, running in and out to the play area, all fine. At the end of the evening I was looking over at dd to see if she was ready to go. She didn't see me, but started picking up peas and flicking them at people's plates. I was mortified and called over "dd stop that. Don't throw food!" a couple of others started doing it too.

The parents who I was sitting with said oh let them do what they want and gave me a filthy look. I was pretty taken aback tbh.

I only told dd to stop, not any other child.

I would have said the same as you! Just because they let their kids do what they want doesn’t mean you have to.

I thought this was going to be toddler age . At 12 yes . Who was going to pick up these peas ?

Of course YANBU, I can’t believe anyone would think you were. I suppose the parent who gave you the dirty look is the type that thinks as “it’s their job/they’re paid to do it” it’s alright to leave restaurants/hotel rooms etc a complete pig sty.

Having waitressed in my younger days, thank you, yes it was the right thing to do, but you'd be amazed by how many parents think this kind of thing fine. I still have nightmares about working kids eat free Sundays

The world will go to Hell if all parents allowed their 12 year-olds to "do what they want". Of course you should have pulled her for throwing food. Ignore the ridiculous comments and carry on being a parent.

Of course YANBU, who actively allows kids of any age to throw food in restaurants?!

Well at least you know which child you need to discourage your daughter from hanging around with.
Throwing food is 100% unacceptable, regardless of who is clearing it up. I agree with the PPs saying that this mother will be a waiting on staff's nightmare, believing that the staff get paid to clean up after diners who leave a complete tip behind and have nothing better to do.

Personally I would have said something to the mother. Something along the lines of me not allowing MY child to act like a damn animal. She was already giving you a dirty look, you aren't going to be friends.

Thanks. I suspect this particular set of parents think I'm a bit up myself tbh.

I think dd thinks she's the life and soul when she's in this group and does stupid things

I’m an incredibly lax parent and I thought my only table rules were pants must be worn and no feet on the table, but any child of mind throwing food around would be out of there before the pea hit the ground. That’s not even a rule, it’s just not something that’s ok to do ever.

Aargh, child of MINE.

Good. Thought I was going mad. It's totally unacceptable isn't it

Of course YANBU to teach your child manners. I remember me and my friend chucking food at each other in school. A sharp word from a teacher and I picked up what I'd thrown and never did it again.

Of course you know you were not unreasonable to stop her. Does she normally instigate such behaviour?

Does she normally instigate such behaviour? I've never seen it before. I hope not!