AIBU - Friend

[giadak]

I have/had a long term friend. She’s always been a bit quirky, but after certain age some things aren’t cute anymore. That kind of ‘I deserve the world/wanabee Princess’ mentality is cringeworthy to me. She’s 32 FYI.

We have a large group of friends and I’m far closer to them than I am to her. This was because we used to train together. I find this friend increasingly annoying and offensive. She’s rude to staff in restaurants and/or bars and is stingy with her money - often even refusing to pay service charge - even if it is included in the final bill/grand total - and leaving it for others to pay. She wants lifts to/from everywhere - and never offers to pay for anything - even when she really should.

I’ve simply started ignoring her and her messages. I mentioned it to my husband who said I should tell her outright that I find her very rude and exhausting. However, I think that’ll just set her off and start WW3.

My husband just lost his father and I’m really not in the mood for any unwarranted issues with anyone, but her contact is incessant.

Am I being unreasonable in simply avoiding her? Or should I say something more?

just avoid her. Say your husbands father died, she will move on. It's fine not to chase friendships if it's not from the heart...

Yes, don’t ghost her and don’t have it out with her. Just tell her you are busy and can’t chat much for the foreseeable future. Reply to fewer texts, just once a day, then once every two days, then once a week and so on. Don’t answer prying questions, just skip over them. Don’t ask anything specific about her life.

If you share a group of friends you will see her so out so you need to keep things civil for everyone else.

Fade, fade, fade.

I’d also tell her your fil has died and you just need some alone time right now. If she tells you the story about when her grandfathers cat died and she understands, you can obviously legitimately ignore her.