To not want in laws to see DD?

[Pettyspaghetti]

Hopefully this isn’t too long winded, but I don’t want to drip feed so I’d rather get all of the details in this original post.

DH and his family are borderline NC. This is due to money that was owed by him to his Mum last year (I did post about this when it happened and got absolutely flamed).
A bit of backstory, DH had owed MIL money for over a year, and she was pissed off that she hadn’t been paid back. Things all came to a head around Xmas, we were constantly being harassed by DHs family for the money. This stung a bit as we had recently been made homeless (landlord sold up). Every penny we were saving for our new place went back to MIL, and she was paid in full.
Relationship between DH and MIL is strained to say the least, and they very, very rarely see each other. SIL has gone fully NC with DH, myself and DD (6), and I do not speak to MIL anymore.
Regardless of all of this bad blood, myself and DH have never said that MIL/BIL cannot see DD. BIL has came round unannounced many times to ask if DD wants to go to MILs house, but every time DD says no. I’ve tried to convince her to the point of almost bribing her, but her mind is made up.
So onto yesterday.
BIL (I’ll call him bill) messaged myself and DH asking if him and MIL could see DD at the weekend, as it upsets MIL not seeing her. We discussed it with DD, who didn’t want to go. I definitely didn’t want to go as I haven’t spoken to in laws in over 1 year, so DH reluctantly said he’d go. He wasn’t too keen on going as whenever he sees his family he always gets reminded about the previous debt he had, and is generally treated like a child. So that was the end of that, DH was going to take DD to MILs at the weekend, and DH was going to message bill to let him know. Because of this I didn’t message bill back, as DH was going to arrange it.
A few hours later, while I was at work, I received a message from bill. It was full of abuse, calling me and DH pricks, bringing up again the money MIL had lent DH, how I’m ungrateful, and being pretty abusive and threatening etc. This immediately got my back up, so I messaged back saying I was at work, DH was going to message him so I wasn’t ignoring him. I also said that if he keeps threatening us then he will not be seeing DD. He replied saying that if he sees DH around he will put him in the ground. I told him not to threaten DH, and because of that he will not be allowed to see DD as i was now concerned for her welfare in their care. I was then accused of using DD as a weapon, that him and MIL will see her if they want, and I can’t do anything about that. He also threatened to kill DH twice more.
When I got home from work DH showed me a message from bill saying that if he doesn’t “get” DH, he will be paying someone to.
I’m now worried sick, and panicking that bill will pay us a visit when either me or DH are at work (we both work nights).
Bill currently lives with MIL, so it’s not a case of her seeing DD and not him as he’s always there. Nothing has been said by MIL, and bill has blocked me from contacting him.
Should I report this to the police? Would I be unreasonable to not want DD anywhere near them now??

Police, now.

Do not let your daughter anywhere near these people.

Block them everywhere and go extreme no contact.

Yes you should report it. A threat to kill is obvs a serious matter and a criminal offence. Apart from anything else, if there was violence against DH, at least there would be strong evidence against Bill.

I would absolutely take it to the police, if nothing more than to show Bill exactly how unacceptable it is. It also means that if it was ever taken further, or blew up again later there'r a clear record.

After having NC for so long, and their living situation, I wouldn't be surprised if Bill and MIL had been letting this fester on their end causing the unreasonable reaction from Bill.
Bills reaction doesn't mean you have to cut off MIL - even though she sounds unpleasant.
I would contact MIL even via letter/txt and just say something along the lines of 'i have to clear the air here. I've not told DD of our conflict but shes just not comfortable visiting you, we really hope that changes in time'

If you think its still worth DD having a relationship with MIL, DD and MIL could send letters? That way you have oversight on the content of discussion (you would naturally worry that MIL was poisonous) and DD doesn't have to be with them.

He sounds unhinged- report to the police. Do not put your family in danger.

Hi OP. The offence Bill has committed is that of harassment, and there are two remedies. The first is through the police, especially where there's violence or the fear of it. The second is through the county court, and it's perfectly feasible to take out a harassment injunction and to seek either damages or a power of arrest for breach. It can be done in person, and if you have preserved threatening messages, the court will usually allow your claim.

Report definitely. Go completely NC. DC should not be exposed to this. Also clarify with childcare providers/school that DC should not be allowed to leave with MIL/BIL.

Thanks all for the replies.
I’m glad other people agree, I’m just worried that if I go to the police it’ll be a red rag to a bull and he’ll harrass us even more. It’s not nice living on edge.
I agree, it’s not a good environment for a child at all.
The PP that mentioned letters between DD and MIL, that’s a very good idea. Or even phone calls where I can supervise whats being said. Me and DH have always suspected that bill and MIL only want DD to visit so they can corner DH and have a go at him, and make him feel like shit. This has happened previously, hence DHs reluctance to visit. So a phone call between DD and MIL will either prove that, or start to rebuild their relationship.

And justanother that is a fear of mine, that bill or MIL will try and take DD from school.

Speak to school tomorrow. Tell them it's your and dh only to collect. And tell them why. Make sure you actually cross off anyone who can't collect but may be on the approved list.

Jesus Christ OP ... how much of a red rag to a Bull must you endure before someone gets physically harmed...

report these Clowns now

I remember your previous thread (was one of those who actually wasn't flaming you but have namechanged since). Definitely make sure as pps have said that there's no possibility of their names on a pickup list. Keep a record of all messages and report. If you want phone calls/letters for dd go ahead, that's absolutely fine, but only if that's what you and dh want don't be backed into it.