AIbU to be annoyed at friend who is perfect at everything friend

[Beautyandbeast]

Before I go on, she's lovely and really do like her.
But sometimes gets on nerves for being just perfect at everything.
Good looks, really excellent at her job, beautiful clean/tidy/ordered home, 2.4 children, good relationship with family/friends./organised.... I could go on.
I feel like no matter what I do I just about scrape by at keeping on top of stuff.
Anyone else know someone like this?

Let me guess, all this is on face fuck

I have actually been the ‘perfect’ friend in a similar situation before. I was (and am!) of course by no means perfect, but this woman for some reason latched on to my every perceived ‘success’ and became increasingly jealous to the point where it actually got quite nasty.

It’s not a nice feeling, knowing that every good thing that happens to you is somehow upsetting another person. You find yourself in a competition that you didn’t even know you’d entered. In my case I’d go out of my way not to tell this woman anything nice that happened in my life, but she’d ask me about stuff outright and then go around complaining that I always rubbed my success in her face.

The worst part was that I was actually having a terrible time that year (a bereavement, a very unwell family member and a whole heap of other crap) but this woman could only see the ‘good’ stuff that was happening in my life compared with her ‘bad’ stuff.

Don’t be that woman!

I read a really great quote the other day about how a different version of each of us exists in the minds of the people we meet. Everyone sees and creates a version of us and that version isn't necessarily the same in everyone, nor is it the same as how we see ourselves.
You just see this version of her.

She obviously has skills that your envious of and would like to see more of in yourself - and that's perfectly fine!
Don't berate yourself for feeling like failing in all of these areas your envy - you could pick one and develop it, possibly even ask her to help.

From this brief post it sounds like you are happy with 'enough' in some areas of your life, without always chasing more, you might place more value on things which can't be seen or measured. Being able to recognize the things you value is a great skill in itself, don't waste yourself perfecting things that other people value.

She may have been lucky enough to land on her feet in some way, maybe she envies your strength, your ability to be so happy with 'enough'

Don't compare your inside to somebody else's outside. You never know what's going on in somebody else's life.

My Dad always used to tell me "everyone's shit stinks, kiddo" whenever I got jealous. He was right, everyone has their own battles, some are just better at the 'outward' stuff than others.

I'm very good on the outside; to those who don't know me well I'm happy and lucky and organised and living a great life. For the friends who know me very well they also know that I struggle a great deal at times with mu emotional health, DS1's ASD affects us all in enormous ways we don't openly acknowledge to everyone, my DH can act the goat at times and our dog is an incontinent asshat. Facebook and all other social media is just the highlights reel, the real stuff is the part you don't see.

I have a friend like this! Love him but TOTALLY insufferable 😂

One of my friends sees me a bit like this I think. We've had mini fall outs over her being a bit harsh towards me for my supposed perfect life. I've never claimed to be remotely perfect and acknowledge I am lucky in many ways but I have plenty of issues I'm dealing with or brushing under the carpet. But that isn't the stuff you show everyone is it.

She may not have hidden struggles. She may be a lucky person who has genuinely lived a charmed life. Some people do. I have a friend like this. I adore her. She’s beautiful, clever, has a fabulous house, 3 gorgeous DCs and a DH who is lovely and loaded to boot. I’d love her life TBH. And I don’t think it does anybody any good to nod sagely and say that her husband is probably a secret sex offender or that she actually suffers from depression or something. Of course her life is not ALL sunshine and roses. But why is it so hard for some people to accept that life isn’t fair and some people have it easier?

Mmm. I think these people are the other side of the coin to the criminal and dysfunctional.

Some people are just higher up the perfection scale. Not everyone has dark and terrible secrets.

Don't compare the inside of your life to outside of anothers is advice worth remembering, no one's life is as they portray it on FB or similar.

You honestly don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

If it upsets you or winds you up then for your own happiness distance yourself

Yes was supposed to be lighthearted.
I kno I will never reach my friends oerfection as I'm a naturally chaotic person. Just a little in awe that's all.

I’d take comfort in the fact that one of her children is only 0.4 of a child.

@redcarbluecar

Nobody has a perfect life! But if there's some aspect of her life that you really envy, is there anything you can do to get nearer to being like that yourself?

And maybe your life looks pretty good to someone else - it's all relative!

I don’t know anyone who has a perfect life. But you can guarantee that someone has a worse life than you do.

I think it’s near impossible to have career, health, family, love & friends all on point at the same time. If your achieving 3 out of 5 your doing well.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

^^ this. Im a bastard for it too. Instead of enjoying my son, I keep getting jealous of my imaginary scenarios of him getting pushed out when SIL has her baby.

You'll never be happy comparing yourself to others. She doesnt have the perfect life, even tho she may not admit it.

Sometimes a combination of the luck of the draw and effort means some people really are perfect most of the time, in the categories you list.

Rather than trying to make yourself feel better by thinking they must be unhappy/imperfect behind closed doors, I think a better strategy is to accept this and move on.

Change the things about yourself that you can change but try not to stress about the other stuff.

I say this as someone who is far from perfect but who knows people who are!

I got accused of being like this once at a toddler group as I'd brought homemade cake.
I am far from perfect. I've also gained more weight since then!
I have several perfect on the surface friends. I know they have crap to deal with, it's just different crap to mine.

But is she happy? I'm good at a well paid job that I'm fed up with but I'm not brave enough to change. My friends think I'm really organised but I wish I had less need to be in control of everything. Even people with seemingly perfect lives have issues.