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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider a secondment when TTC?

5 replies

mussie · 08/05/2018 18:23

Everyone at my work is being offered an opportunity for a year's secondment, as part of a pilot programme for what will eventually be the standard way of working for my whole company. I quite like saying yes to all the opportunities I'm offered, and if I'm part of this pilot then I'll be able to have a real impact on how the programme eventually rolls out to everyone else, which I would really love to be able to do.

They want confirmation of who is interested at the beginning of June, will pick a team at the end of June, train them up in July, and set them off to work in August. Me and DH will be TTC starting from June/July.

Is it cruel to the people organising the pilot, to be TTC during? Even if I did get pregnant straight away, I would still be able to work most of the secondment period. The likelihood is of course that it will take at least a few months to conceive, in which case I'd be able to work the whole thing. I don't want to turn down opportunities because of the possibility that I'll be pregnant, and then not be pregnant after all, and have to watch my colleagues being the trailblazers instead of me.

I do appreciate though, that if you were the line manager for this new programme, a person joining and then getting pregnant straight away would be incredibly frustrating. I also don't want to build up a name for myself as someone who can't complete the work they've committed themselves to. And this programme will eventually roll out to everyone anyway, so I would only be missing out for a year or two, and then I'll be forcibly joining in anyway.

So basically, AIBU to consider this? Would I be being totally unprofessional to sign up for a job and then get pregnant? If you're a manager, what would you think of a person that did that?

OP posts:
zigzagbetty · 08/05/2018 20:01

I think it you are overthinking this, what's to say that anyone taking part wont get pregnant or have a change in circumstances. If you fall pregnant on first try you will still be in work for months. Go for it!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 08/05/2018 20:15

Definitely don't turn down an opportunity you want because you might be pregnant - been there, done that and it really hurts if you're not. I also think that if this would 'build up a name for myself as someone who can't complete the work they've committed themselves to' then your industry/sector has a big problem, and sadly you'll find yourself discriminated against anyway if you get pregnant - no reasonable person would hold it against you. No one even has to know it was a planned pregnancy, if you don't want them to.

Emilyrose746 · 08/05/2018 20:17

I’m currently on a secondment (an internal one though) which is due to end at the beginning of November and am expecting my first child at the end of October - we weren’t actively TTC but had removed barriers that would prevent it. Work have been fine about it and everybody seems happy for me to my face.

There isn’t any guarantee that other people chosen for the secondment won’t fall pregnant during the course of it or it might take you longer to conceive. I would personally say to go for it!

mussie · 08/05/2018 22:02

That is a weight off my mind! Thanks for the supportive comments. @Emilyrose746, so glad to hear your personal experience has been positive. @LisaSimpsonsbff - I have no experience of them actually treating anyone like that, so it's more personal paranoia than a systemic problem! I'm sure you're right, that they would be reasonable about it. Hopefully they wouldn't even ask if it was planned or not. That's certainly not a question I've asked anyone who's announced a pregnancy!

Going to put my name forward now and hope for the best Grin

OP posts:
mussie · 20/06/2018 17:54

If any of you are following, I got the job! Now I'll just have to wait and see how TTC goes, coming off the pill in a few days. Hopefully don't conceive first cycle 🙈 thanks for all the advice!

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