My sil has had MH issues all of her adult life. I've known her for 15. She has bi polar effective disorder.
We have struggled massively with her behaviour over the years, she has had many times in her life when she's unfortunately had to be sectioned for her own safety and that of others. However, she responds really well to lithium, and has maintained a good level of mental wellness for the past couple of years on it. The trouble is that she has horrible side effects, she puts weight on and she also becomes incontinent. I get that these are not nice, but she is able to lead a normal-ish life on lithium (without being sectioned).
She has recently decided to come off it, due to said side effects. It is not clear whether this is with her doctor's support. However, she is becoming increasingly awful to all her nearest and dearest, and I snapped this week when she sent me a vile series of texts being absolutely awful about my OH (her brother). I called her out on it and said I wasn't prepared to ever receive anything like that again, and would block her if she did. She responded by a massive character assassination of me. It wasn't rambly or nonesensical, it was clear and unequivocal. She went through all my perceived weaknesses and character flaws and decimated my personality at great length.
As a result I have blocked her and this has been the straw that has broken the proverbial camel's back. Both DH and I have supported her massively over the years, often at great emotional and financial cost to ourselves. I've just had enough. She talks so contemptuously to and about her mum, her husband and her brothers. None of them ever call her on it, as they want a quiet life and she is very time consuming with drama after drama. The family put her horrible behaviour down to the MH issues, but I am not so sure.
I feel she knows exactly what she's saying (she is very intelligent) and says these things knowing no one will challenge her. I know that no 2 people react in the same way to the same diagnosis, but I have a friend with the same diagnosis and she never does this.
So aibu to think that MH issues don't mean spouting venom to your family, and that she should reign it in. I understand and am sympathetic to the erratic behaviour, the mood swings, the manic episodes, the black times. But targeted abuse? And if I am wrong, and it is a part of her disorder, am I evil to want no more part of it? This is the tip of the iceberg, we have done so much to help over the years and had it thrown back at us.
I just can't bear what she said about my DH, when he has done nothing but support her, and in that moment when she was sending the texts about him I just felt I'd absolutely had enough.