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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think my friend is being taken advantage of

17 replies

Tunsey · 07/05/2018 22:20

My lovely friend (let’s call her Mrs L) has been helping another friend (Mrs injured) with school runs. Mrs L picks her Mrs injured’s DC from school every day, along with her own child and drops her home. Mrs L then goes to her older dc’s school for pick up. Mrs L agreed to help Mrs injured as the friend had been injured - a small injury estimated to heal in eight weeks. Six months after the injury my friend is still doing the school run for Mrs injured. Each week Mrs injured says she’ll try to do school run and each Sunday she calls Mrs L to ask her to do it, with various excuses revolving around her injury. Mrs L feels like she can’t say no but I feel like she is being taken advantage of. Actually most of us in our friend circle do.

Are we just being harsh to Mrs injured (we should all support each other etc...) or is Mrs L being just too gullible?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/05/2018 22:21

Six months! What on earth was the injury?

HollowTalk · 07/05/2018 22:22

Does Mrs Injured do other things, which would suggest she was able to pick up?

Original poster
Tunsey · 07/05/2018 22:23

A small fracture I believe. After 10 weeks Drs said Mrs injured should be able to go back to normal but Mrs injured claims there’s still pain.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tunsey · 07/05/2018 22:24

Mrs injured was able to hang decorations from ceiling! But does not go out unless DH takes her.

OP posts:
lindyhopy · 07/05/2018 22:25

Yes she is taking the piss. Can't you and your other mum friends offer to help out too to ease the load of Mrs L?

Original poster
Tunsey · 07/05/2018 22:27

Good idea are helping out. But we don’t know her too well. Mrs injured and her DH are v protective over their only DC - does not go in play dates etc... only trusts our friend Mrs L.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tunsey · 07/05/2018 22:28

Glad you think she is taking the pee. Thought maybe we were being too harsh. Also, if we were out if action we would consider some form of childcare. Money isn’t an issue.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 07/05/2018 22:30

What would happen if Mrs L just said no?

Original poster
Tunsey · 07/05/2018 22:38

Mrs L would feel like a bad friend - their DCs have been together at school and before do some time. Sometimes Mrs L does make an excuse and then Mrs injured has caught a cab. Mrs injured then comments on the expense.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 07/05/2018 22:59

Mrs L needs to grow a pair Grin

passmetheloppers · 07/05/2018 23:02

How did Mrs Injured get her dc to school before the injury?

PopGoesTheWeaz · 07/05/2018 23:07

She needs to be ready when the request for an extension comes in with something along the lines of "Okay, I'm happy to help you out this week but I need to ask you to sort out somethign for next week. As you can imagine this has gone on a lot longer than either of us initially thought and I'm just feeling a bt trapped by the situation now"

altiara · 07/05/2018 23:10

Can one of you other friends arrange to do the pick ups/drops offs for a week and Mrs L has to say no she can’t help. Then she can say, she’s sharing the School run with people who can help her out.

TERFragetteCity · 07/05/2018 23:12

Pretend that nice friend is ill, you take her kids for a week and then mrs pisstaker will have to do it then nice friend can stop.

Fruitcorner123 · 07/05/2018 23:48

PopGoesTheWeaz response is good one or go with what terf says.

in all honestly though I would be worried about Mrs injured. Either she is recovered but still doesn't leave the house without your her DH which might mean she is scared for some reason or he is controlling OR she is not recovered after six months and needs to see a GP because aomething is wrong. There is a another option of course which is that she is just lazy but if it's one of the other scenarios perhaps Mrs L might feel she could ask Mrs injured what's going on?

Original poster
Tunsey · 08/05/2018 07:55

Thank you all for your advice. Spoke to my friend last night and lo and behold she’d received a phone call to say that now Mrs injured has no transport and could Mrs L continue for this week. I’ll pass the advice you guys have given. But this is giving me the rage.

I know there might be other reasons (loss of confidence etc...) but my poor friend is shattered. She works too whereas Mrs injured has not done for some time. I do want to try find empathy but to be honest it’s getting ridiculous. Sorry had to rant 😡

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 08/05/2018 23:07

she's having the piss ripped out of her... but only She can stop this now lovely Flowers

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