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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to chat constantly?

6 replies

quigonjinn · 07/05/2018 20:39

Regular poster but NC in case IABU and mean and make you all think I’m horrible Grin

DP and I live with MIL (it’s neither her house nor ours) and I adore her. However, she’s one for incessant small talk! I was sitting in the garden earlier happily engrossed in my book when she came and sat next to me and started wittering away about something or other.

I’m usually more than happy to chit chat with her but sometimes I’d like a little bit of peace and quiet, hence why I took myself out to the garden with my book. I had a stupidly busy weekend at work and just wanted to relax and enjoy the evening sunshine today.

I guess I’m feeling a bit guilty now because she eventually sloped back into the house to watch TV. She hasn’t many friends so she’s quite lonely, although I do make an effort to spoil her when I can, but today I just wanted to be by myself.

WIBU to not engage with her? I feel horrible Sad

Also any tips on gently telling her I don’t want company for future reference?!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/05/2018 20:54

I know just how you feel about needing quiet time. I'm the same way. I think it would be a good idea to tell her what you're doing so she'll (hopefully) get the hint. "I'm going out to the garden to enjoy some quiet time and my book." Perhaps a preemptive heads up will give you the space you need.

Mumminmum · 07/05/2018 21:23

YANBU. Sometimes we all need quiet time. Can she join some clubs?

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 07/05/2018 21:26

YANBU to want quiet time but I don't think you can tell her you don't want company without causing offence. Is there anything you can do to help her get out a bit and make her own friends?

NicEv · 07/05/2018 21:34

Can you just explain to her as you have to us - Maybe take her in a cup of tea and say sorry for being quiet today , I adore you and love living with you but it’s been a really rough week at work and sometimes I just need some quiet time alone. I wanted to come and explain in case you sensed I was quiet today - give her the chance to answer. Communication is key to living together happily I think ! Good luck - you sound lovely , it’s really nice to read about someone who is so kind and loving towards their MIL

FatBottomedGal · 07/05/2018 21:38

I think what NicEv said is perfect Smile

Maelstrop · 07/05/2018 22:14

I’d say find a lovely quiet park.i reckon she’d be offended/upset regardless of how you put it.

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