To leave everything and move in with dm.

[Twounder1]

This really was a last resort.
I moved out with dp last year and I don't know if its him anymore or what it is that's causing it, but I'm severely depressed. I have no self worth anymore. I'm just nothing and living for my two dcs. I'm the backbone of this household. I've got no money and dp has put us in debt buying games on top of the debt I was in because work underpaid me hugely. Dp has no job, no Intentions of getting a job, which I don't know if it serves me as a favour as he's good to our children. He helps me out with them. Username isn't correct anymore. Dd turned 1 last month ds is 5 weeks now. But nevertheless, I've sold all my possessions and keep sakes and things from dead family members for my rent. I'm getting no help.
I haven't eaten properly in weeks, loss of appetite and I'm living on scraps of dds food as I just don't see a point in looking after myself. I couldn't give a shit what happens to me anymore.

Ive told my mom very little of this. We lost my brother to suicide 3 years ago and she doesn't need to know this.. However she can tell there's something wrong.

I'm so sick of this. All dp does is tell me I need to go to the doctors as I'll pass the depression onto our kids and I'm not able to look after them In this state and I need help. I just want to be left alone with my kids.
I love my mom dearly. All I want is to be with her and my children back in my old village. But her house is tiny and couldn't house my two dcs :( what do I do? All I think about personally now is suicide and I just can't do this anymore. I'm really stuck and can't see a way out of how I feel. I'm not fit to be a mother to two young kids and they could do a lot better than me.

Talk to your mum, talk to your doctor. Your DP is not helping you, so no use talking to him right now.

There is no shame in asking for help.

Firstly your kids want, love and need you.

Secondly, if that is your safe space then yes move back home.

Thirdly, many of us go through bad times, one day the bad times WILL be history and you will be glad you pulled through.

You sound in a really really dark place right now, especially with such young children. Would you think about opening up to your mum? Is there anyone you can open up to about the troubles your having?

Your dp has said to go to the doctors, can you do this?

You've posted a number of times about your situ and the advice is always the same... you need to leave him. So yes, pack up your kids and go to your mums. Walk away before it makes you worse

Would your mum move in with you for a bit? I’d say move your dh into your mums as he’s not helping you. My mum got seriously depressed post dc and her parents moved in with her for 6 months, it helped a lot.

You’re not wrong to be thinking that being with your mum who loves you is a good idea. I hope things get better for you.

Sorry to read you feel so overwhelmed, understandly you want to just get away
If you need immediate help You can go to A&E see psychiatric liason team
Otherwise go to your GP discuss how you are feeling,how overwhelming it is
Have a medication review,discuss the stress and your mood
With right treatment you’ll feel better

I completely second was @TERFragetteCity has said.

Also, are you claiming any help from the government? Do you have Child Benefit, Working Tax Credits, Child Tax Credits, etc.? It's not a long-term solution, but they really helped us get through the dark days of financial problems?

Are you looking for more work, something that pays better?

You need to get away from this man, OP, otherwise you'll never feel better.

It's better that you and your children cram into your mum's house than you leave your children motherless. They won't remember being squashed, but they do love you with all their hearts and don't want to lose you.

Call your mum now. Ask her to come and get you. Tell her it's urgent and you need to come to stay with her. Let her help you.

He helps me out with them

They are his children - you are not solely in charge and he shouldn't make you feel that way

I'd rather be cramped and happy than live like you are

Yes. I'd go today. Then get help tomorrow

Just as an aside, I've been in debt, I've done the selling stuff to cover rent, I've even had the dickish dp spending what we didn't have as head in the sand was far more appealing! - but I'll tell you it is temporary and there is no shame - none at all.

Does or will your partner look after the kids while you are at work? If so, you might be financially better off him being a sahm. Childcare with 2 pre school age children cost more than min wage.

Have you asked your mum about you and the children moving in with her may be temporary just to clear your mind up? I used to sleep over at my mum's with my two dc, we slept on the air bed in her living room. My kids loved it so may be it isn't a problem for her?

while mine are older, when my marriage broke down, only place I wanted to be was my moms.

I'm happy here, yes its a squeeze, but there is laughter, and hope and love in my day again.

Talk to your mom, get out of your situation, and please, please, go see your GP, sounds like you have PND.

It seems to me that you are trying to help yourself and your children but are being dragged down by your DP. What are HIS plans to provide for and support his family? Is he happy to live like this? If he doesn't care, I'd go home to your Mum. You sound hard-working and resourceful, don't allow him to become a millstone round your neck. Good Luck

Go to your mums for a week or two to start with, to get some support and head space. That will give you some perspective on your current situation and help you decide what to do for the best in the longer term. . And see a doctor while you are there.