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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for her children to play on their side?

29 replies

Mrsknackered · 07/05/2018 11:58

I get on with my neighbour, she's sweet but a bit of a nuisance (and a CF) she asked if today I could watch her 3 children aged 4, 2 and 6 months so that she could paint her living room (well actually she hinted really heavily and I ignored the hints) explaining I would offer but I can't because I've got to clean the house and today is my last day to get an assignment completed. I also end up having her DC way more than I want too because she guilt trips me (she has a mum who has the children often and numerous siblings)

So an hour later, her DC1 knocks and asks if my DS1 can play out. I said that today he's doing reading/tidying/playing in his room as we've had a busy weekend. Off he pops. Back 10 mins later. And then again. I ignore the door the second and third time. THEN her 2 year old comes over and is banging on my door really loudly. MY DC2 is asleep on the sofa and I've just sat down to do my essay. I text neighbour saying 'please don't let X bang on the door I'm trying to do my work and DC2 is asleep'. No reply. Two year old bangs AGAIN shouting the name of my DS2. I can't open the door because I'm trapped, if I open it she'll waddle in and definitely wake him, but neighbour isn't answering my text.

Anyway, this time said 2 year old has banged so loudly that DS2 is now up. And DS1 has come downstairs. I ignore the door. And THEN both of her elder children are standing outside the door chanting my DC's names, by this point I'm gonna lose it. I open the door and say 'NDN please can they play over on your side because quite frankly I'm really busy and it's driving me potty'.

She didn't say anything, called them both over, took them inside and slammed the door.

So, was IBU?

OP posts:
MeanTangerine · 07/05/2018 11:59

No.

HolyMountain · 07/05/2018 11:59

No you weren't.

ICantCopeAnymore · 07/05/2018 12:00

Bloody hell, I couldn't cope with that at all. How rude, especially when you're trying to work.

SheSparkles · 07/05/2018 12:00

Definitely not

Isleepinahedgefund · 07/05/2018 12:00

Definitely not.

Sparklesocks · 07/05/2018 12:01

No you were polite and firm but she didn’t listen so had to be stricter, YANBU.

blueskyinmarch · 07/05/2018 12:01

She sounds like a nightmare. Who lets 2yo out to bang on someones door? Hopefully she has got the message now.

Starlight2345 · 07/05/2018 12:02

Nope . I thought from title you were not wanting children playing near your house. She was planning to send kids over to you regardless

Original poster
Mrsknackered · 07/05/2018 12:04

She will never get the message, it's been two years of this. I really fought it in the beginning, but actually now it's easier to get on with it. They're moving to the street behind in a month, so think we might get some relief then!

She sits on the doorstep and watches them do it, I honestly don't understand why!

OP posts:
Pinga · 07/05/2018 12:06

Ugh. That would drive me cuckoo. Not fair at all.

kyrenialady · 07/05/2018 12:06

YANBU they all sound bloody annoying.

Brainfogmcfogface · 07/05/2018 12:07

Not at all.

DamsonOnThisDress · 07/05/2018 12:07

No. Not at all. Frankly, as lovely as the kids probably are, that would do my head in and I'd want to move.

It's luck of the draw who you get as neighbours. You need a good dose of tolerance if you live in a residential area but sounds like you have been more than tolerant.

The door slam. Could it be that you were fairly sharp with her and she's smarting at that?

Not that I'd blame you if you were but she might not realise how busy you are / how much a PITA her kids are and is miffed at your tone?

I'd let her lick her wounds, forget about it and get on with your essay.

If you want to keep things amicable you might want to throw out a casual "Sorry, about Monday. I was up to my eyes" next time you see her but really I don't think you've anything to apologise for.

RebootYourEngine · 07/05/2018 12:07

She sounds like a nightmare.

DamsonOnThisDress · 07/05/2018 12:08

Uck, damn my slow posting.

Have just seen your last post. Roll on next month then!

You have the patience of Job.

Original poster
Mrsknackered · 07/05/2018 12:11

Yes I think I probably did sound quite harsh. Really, I was seething, I could feel my blood boiling!

They're back out playing, I'm literally sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the dreaded knock/chant....

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 07/05/2018 12:17

I don't understand who lets a 2 year old round to play at someone else's house- that's proper childcare, provided by you. Do you have a back garden where they bother you as well? I wouldn't bother apologising as people like that take it is you admitting you were wrong. She might actually leave you alone now which sounds like your preferred outcome.

colditz · 07/05/2018 12:25

Don't apologise, she has been rude, and she knows she has been rude. She's probably been rude on purpose

gamerwidow · 07/05/2018 12:32

Do not apologise you haven't done anything wrong and you'll make her think she was in the right.
You told her you were too busy to have the kids she sent them anyway.

Idontdowindows · 07/05/2018 12:32

if they knock again, very very sternly say: Do NOT knock here again today! We are busy and you are being very rude!"

Then close the door and if they do it again, open the door and say "go away, you are being rude."

Sometimes you just have to be clear and direct.

LadyLapsang · 07/05/2018 12:35

No YANBU. Sounds like she let the children call on purpose, or even prompted them, when you did not take her hint to look after them.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2018 12:37

She was hoping to fob them off on you again. You did the right thing. I'd really give her a swerve this next month.

jay55 · 07/05/2018 12:38

She was trying to get you to babysit by stealth. Well done not opening the door.

givemesteel · 07/05/2018 12:44

I'd be furious.

If the children come back I'd sternly tell them off and tell them to get off my garden. You're basically being harassed, if they were adults you'd call the police.

DamsonOnThisDress · 07/05/2018 12:46

I'm not surprised you were harsh. Pity she wasn't a bit firmer herself and didn't let her kids be a nuisance.

If they come to the front of the house can you go to a back room to work and shut all doors? It's crap you're feeling on the edge of your seat. Do your essay and bollox to them.

You've done nothing wrong. They're moving soon so you can be as harsh as you like and not feel like you need to smooth things over. Good luck with the essay.