WWYD - how to handle difficult customers

[supersop60]

My DD has recently (6 weeks) started a new job in a retail DIY type store. She's really enjoying it, except that she's had no real training in how to deal with difficult/complaining customers. Does anyone have any useful suggestions? (and please, not 'Did you mean to be so rude?')

Totally agree with most of the above comments - listen to the customer, let them have their 'rant' and then ask them how they would like the problem resolved

In the vast majority of cases, from the retailer's point of view, it is far better to give an immediate refund or replacement than to get into an argument about customer 'rights' etc etc. I am amazed more companies don't do that.

I was in customer relations for years and it is so much better to give the refund and then get on and serve the next customer.

However, it's not right that a new employee is having to deal with difficult customers without any appropriate training or guidance.

@Avasarala not always. We accept bank statements, but we have to be able to trace the purchase from it on our system, to prove that the product was actually purchased. you would be surprised at how often we get people coming in with a statement showing they had spent x amount in store, but upon checking our records that amount has not included the product they are trying to return.

'kill with kindness' - yes, if you want to aggravate the situation further, definitely do this. Otherwise, don't.

PaintedHorizons and a couple of others speak my brains on this. I'm not in customer service but I do work in a voluntary support agency and often find myself in confrontational situations, where I'm dealing with angry or distressed people.

I agree that ‘what do you want me to do’ would be an exasperating response to a customer. Listen, listen hard, and listen good. Don’t give stock responses, be genuine if you’re not sure what to do but let them know how you’re going to escalate it.

However, there is a line. I will not tolerate anyone swearing at me (swearing tolerable but not at me) or shouting at me. I have ended both conversations and phone calls with customers and patients on that basis with no qualms.

When I was a little older than your DD and at uni, I had a customer come in ranting and raving at me and called me a fucking idiot. I told him very calmly that I was doing my job, I didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that and how would he feel if someone did it to his son or daughter, could he leave the shop and come back when he had found some manners and I would sort it out for him.

He actually did leave. And did come back - with a huge bunch of flowers for me and a genuine apology. We then moved on and sorted out the problem.

That interaction has always been my line in the sand since.

From my own experience, I'd advice her to not get personally over-invested. The issue usually is between the customer and the company and staff just get in the firing line.

It's not right, but it's a lot easier to deal with if you don't automatically feel attacked, or feel the need to 'defend' your employer. Just deal with it as best you can using company procedures or pass it on to someone more senior. Most customers, if they see you are trying to help, soon calm down. Their anger is with the company.

When I was a similar age I sometimes got very ratty with customers, or upset by their rudeness. Not worth it.

It is horrible, it is hard to kill them with kindness when you have had your face chewed off.

I used to start with Sir/Madam with all due respect I can see you are upset, Can you please calm down and let me do my job and help resolve your issue.

I also find being super polite and slightly patronising to the full on rant clients takes the wind out of their sails. I do a lot of phone calls and say in a delightful ultra patient voice “so how can I help you today” works well

ALWAYS be nice, ALWAYS be polite. If the customer is really wound up, get another colleague along to witness the interaction and to help. If the customer is rude NEVER be rude back (even if they richly deserve it). NEVER give them cause to complain about your behaviour.

Lots of smiles, acknowledge their problem (with humour, if you think it will help), make them feel listened to. Call for someone who can actually do something (like make an exchange/refund) if you can't. Customers with a complaint just want to feel heard and justified.

I work in a customer serving role and sometimes they can be rude as fuck, but you can never bite back!

I agree be as nice as possible.

Also she is very new, tell her to pass everyone to her supervisor. It's not her responsibility.

'Oh I'm sorry about that, let me see if o can get someone senior to help you'

When I know I'm absolutely in the right and that there is absolutely nothing else that can be done, I run through everything that has been suggested/offered etc and only then I'll end it with the 'what do you want me to do' question and usually only if the person is being unreasonable.

I try to be understanding and empathise with the parts of the complaint I feel are genuine and always show that I'm trying everything I can to resolve things for them. I tell them I'm only trying to help if they get a bit snippy but that I can't if they won't give me a chance.

These customer service threads always go the same way: you must be polite at all times, regardless of what anyone says to you. Fuck that. I will be warmly polite as far as I am able, but once someone is being rude to me I am going to be coldly polite, and then if they keep doing it and cross my lines I am going to refuse to serve them, which I think is pretty reasonable. Just because someone is serving customers it doesn't make them a target for abuse.

In a past life I had my own very busy retail business. I used to use non-violent communication (the book with that title taught me a lot!!) for the bolshy customers and it had its funny moments.

One woman was trying to return an expensive fancy dress outfit and all accompanying accessories, such as wig and face paints, saying she needed a refund because she didn't enjoy the event she attended.

She refused to listen to polite reason so I let her get angrier and louder with increasingly bad swearing (I'd never been called a counting turd before!) and once she realised I wasn't retaliating she stared at me and shouted "you're fucking crazy" and stormed off. All I did was wait for her to let me speak!

Oh, and instead of saying 'what do you want me to do?' you can say 'what would you like me to do?'

It's a bit less confrontational.

And I agree that you shouldn't take shit, but in your DD's position (very junior), she can't really start to stand up to customers. Send them up the line for help if they get arsey.

With all due respect to anybody working in a call centre or handling irate phone calls, it is nowhere near as difficult as doing it face to face because you are not actually confronted by an angry customer. Believe me somebody yelling, shouting, getting very angry can be incredibly intimidating and the last thing you want to do is inflame the situation whether that is by being over polite and killing them with kindness or by being sarky/arsey back. You need to be polite, remain calm, explain you will try to resolve any issues and if you feel at all threatened then get your manager for back up.

@Pengggwn totally agree! One of my children said once that I can be so polite it's scary! Not quite sure what he meant.

Don't try and interrupt them mid rant. If they stop for a breather, hang fire in case they start again. Try really hard not to take it personally, you're just unfortunately the person dealing with them. If totally out of your depth, take them to a supervisor or more senior member of staff. That's why they're on a higher wage than you.

If they are asking her to do something that is not in the company policy

I am so sorry. I am not allowed to make that decision. But if you....write a letter to x address with y details, they will sort it out. Or come back at x time to speak to y manager etc. And then be very helpful and write down all the details.

Then if they are still kicking off, agree with them that it might be a silly policy, it would be much easier if you could have fixed it on the spot, BUT you arent allowed to make that decision

The super sweet over-politeness is horrible and a sure fire way to aggravate the situation. Instead, unfaked real politeness that shows you're listening is the way to go. E.g.

Irate Lady with shears: Look at these shears! They're so stiff I can't use them [snip snip snip]
DD: Whoa - you nearly had my eye out there! Could you put them down please and I'll have a look. Oh yes, they do seem very stiff don't they? I can see why you've had a problem. Now, as you don't have the receipt we can't refund you but would you like to try the others on the shelf and we will exchange them with another pair.

It's similar to dealing with some parents at school. Some of them are just deeply unreasonable people and they like to swear and rant.
I just shut down: "I'm not prepared to talk to you unless you can be civil.... Okay, I'm putting the phone down now... Thank you... Goodbye."

Your dd could do a free online course too. it might help her build confidence.

course

I occasionally speak with customers but on the phone. If they're being rude i tell them. "I want to help you, I'm trying my best to help you but I'm afraid if you continue to be rude to me I will not be able to continue this conversation. I'm not being rude to you, so please treat me with the same courtesy."

Always stay calm and be the bigger person. Let them rant don’t take it personally and let it under your skin. Always speak in a calm confident tone as we mirror behaviour it becomes harder for them to continue shouting when the other person isn’t. Once they toddle off out of earshot just say ‘cunt’ under you breath sndbgetnon with your job (obviously make sure no one hears you say Cunt, maybe say it in your head) also will them to get the awful shits! As some Scots would say ‘I hope yer next shits a hedgehog!’ Internal dialogue helps massively.

'I'm sorry you feel upset/angry/disappointed' is a good killer of whatever is causing the customer grief - they hear the words 'I'm sorry' & can easily take it as 'the apology', but you are not apolgising you are just empathising that they feel pissed off.
And deflect dealing with it to a manager.

I used to read notalwaysright.com to see I was not the only person dealing with unreasonable people.

@sweeneytoddsrazor

That's an unfortunate situation if people are being fraudulent, but it doesn't change the law. A bank statement is proof of purchase- do whatever you have too to trace it back to your sales records, but unless you can show it is fraudulent, it has to be accepted. That particular assistant point blank refused to accept it or listen to me. No checks made, just "that's not proof or purchase- it must be a reciept".

Nothing wrong with running a check, but to simply refuse is not on.