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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBUnrealistic? (Job after Baby)

17 replies

WorkWonders · 06/05/2018 23:30

Not so much an 'Am I Being Unreasonable' as an 'Am I being Unrealistic'

Baby will be here within the next few days. I really miss working, for various reasons I had to leave my job during pregnancy, and the timing left me without maternity allowance of any sorts. DP has a job, and is currently looking for a second job.

Just now, scrolling through pages looking for a job for DP, I found one. It's for a well-known high-end retail store two minutes from where we live. 8 hours a week split between two days.

Would I be unrealistic to apply for myself? I know processing applications takes time, so I wouldn't expect to be contacted for at least another week or two following application, let alone get an interview (if I was so lucky!). I imagine it would be around a month or so before I started (again, if I was lucky).

Is starting a job a month after having a baby unrealistic? I was planning on getting a job in the next few months anyway, and this just seems like too good of an opportunity to miss.

Thanks in advance xx

OP posts:

Raver84 · 06/05/2018 23:34

Is this your first baby? Are you planning to breastfeed because if you are I'd say leaving such a young baby whilst establishing feeding would be challenging. Who will look afyer baby whilst you work?

stickerrocks · 06/05/2018 23:36

I get it. What have you got to lose by applying?

Myotherusernameisbest · 06/05/2018 23:37

If you think you'll be fine do it. I had to go back when mine was 2 weeks old because of no maternity leave and no other income so it's not impossible. Oh was at home with baby though so didn't need to pay childcare.

Pikehau · 06/05/2018 23:38

In a few days once baby arrives see if you want to look for a job apply and interview.

I assume this is baby 1 and I couldn’t have gone back to work so soon.

Maybe you will be able to but do give yourself time to have baby and then make a decision. Life and time now is so very different.

Early congratulations and best of luck xxx

Lj8893 · 06/05/2018 23:40

It's certainly doable yes, but do consider how you are planning to feed you baby as BF may make it more difficult. What will you do for childcare?

Also how do you know your baby will be here in the next few days?

Fruitcorner123 · 06/05/2018 23:46

physically I would say you need to wait 6 weeks and that's assuming a straightforward labour.

Mentally it all depends on you and your circumstances but it's a big ask, a really big ask

If you are planning to breastfeed it involves expressing probably 2 bottles per 4 hr shift and requires the baby to take a bottle from a young age. Some do some don't.

I would say wait a while longer and see how you feel when baby is here.

Original poster

WorkWonders · 06/05/2018 23:50

I'm fortunate in that DP works nights at the moment in his current job, and the days for said job would not interfere with his routine. As the job would be four hours per day I thought it would be quite nice bonding time for him and DC.
Pikehau thank you. I guess because baby is coming imminently I'm trying to organise things, when really I have no clue what it will be like after baby arrives!

OP posts:

Lj8893 · 06/05/2018 23:55

It will depend on how your birth is too. If you have an EMCS for example you may well not feel up for working in a months time.

AssassinatedBeauty · 06/05/2018 23:59

You could apply, why not? But bear in mind that where babies are concerned often things don't go to plan. What will you do if the offer of an interview comes in and you are still in hospital? Or you are at home, but you've had a c section? And so on.

Lots of women will have had to go back to work after a month, but it's not going to necessarily be straightforward or easy. Sleep deprivation is a killer, you may not want to leave your baby, and you might be in pain. Hopefully not!

Mightymucks · 07/05/2018 00:02

You can apply definitely. If it doesn’t suit withdraw your application.

Fatted · 07/05/2018 00:08

There is no harm in applying and then changing your mind once baby arrives.

I had c-sections with both of mine and honestly was no where near going back to work a month afterwards. I also experienced PND with my eldest and it wasn't really until he was 4 months old I felt anything close to better.

I went back to work full time with my eldest at 6 months and that was hard going. With my youngest, I went back part time at 6 months, which was easier. But I also had a 2YO to look after then!

Peakypush · 07/05/2018 00:10

No harm in applying - go for it! That said, if it's your first baby I really REALLY doubt you will take up the job for many different reasons. I have an almost 5 month old (second baby) and no way would I leave her yet if I didn't have to. That said, if your partner is a really hands on Dad you may feel differently? If you're intending on making breastfeeding work then that adds another layer of complication, but it's still doable... I started pumping from day 3 and my LO had no problems going from bottle to boob. Really though, unless u HAVE to work in two weeks time you're just not going to want to - I'd bet my house on it! Congrats on the baby and good luck 😉

ellie232 · 07/05/2018 00:12

Yanbu, go for it!

In most countries women go back to work a month after the birth, if not sooner. And it’s only 8 hours a week!

Original poster

WorkWonders · 07/05/2018 00:17

Thanks for your advice/experiences. I really appreciate everything said. Also thanks for the congratulations/good luck wishes :D

I think I will apply, and then withdraw if necessary. Will show DP the job too :)

OP posts:

Brokenbiscuit · 07/05/2018 00:23

Go for it. If they offer you an interview and the timing doesn't suit, you can withdraw. Likewise if they offer you the job and you decide you're not ready. There is no harm in having a go.

You have no idea at this stage what might happen. Baby might arrive on time, but equally, could be early or a couple of weeks late. My dd arrived a full 17 days after her due date!

You don't know what your physical recovery would be like. I had an emergency c-section but was absolutely fine after around a week. However, some women wouldn't be physically ready to work so soon after birth.

As for feeding, I bought a ton of bottles and planned to express, so being away from baby for a few hours sounded quite manageable, but dd had other ideas and consistently refused the bottle.

There are so many variables. Nobody can tell you what it's going to be like after your baby is born, so just apply for the job and see how it goes. You are not compelled to follow it through if your circumstances change.

Brokenbiscuit · 07/05/2018 00:24

X post. Good decision, OP. Hope all goes well!

altiara · 07/05/2018 03:46

Go for it. 4 weeks for me would’ve been pushing it but I’m sure I could’ve worked 2x 4 hours shifts. Definitely by 8 weeks.

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