To be a wee bit hurt?

[PenCreed]

I live in London with DH, the rest of my family live in Scotland. In the entire time I've lived here, only my sister has ever been to visit (my parents don't travel, for valid reasons) - my brother's never been, and I always assumed it was because he has young kids and holidays are spent doing kids stuff, or it's a bit too expensive for them all to come and pay for hotels etc. When DH and I got a house I said they should come stay as we had space - not happened yet.

Brother came down to go to the Army v Navy rugby at Twickenham with SIL and her brother and his wife on Saturday, leaving their kids with the ILs. I thought it would be nice to see them, but assumed if they were with a group at the rugby that it probably wouldn't fit and they'd have to head back north early Sunday to get the kids. I didn't hear anything from them suggesting that we meet up, so guessed that I'd been right and they didn't have time, only to discover they've spent today touristing round London.

We don't see each other very often due to living at opposite ends of the country, and he's a good bit older than me, but I always thought we got on ok. I wouldn't dream of coming to the city one of my siblings lived in and not bothering to get in touch to have a drink, or lunch, or even just a coffee. So AIBU to be a bit hurt that it doesn't appear to have crossed their minds that his sister lives in London and might like to see them?

YANBU that's rubbish. I would send him an email or ring him and ask him why he didn't come and meet you. tell him how hurt you are as well. At least you have your sister

Well my brother also lives in London, and I've been to London many times without feeling the need to go and see him .. that's kind of the nature of London, that people do go there as a "tourist" spot.

In terms of your brother - did you explicitly invite him on the Sunday; he may well not have realised that you were expecting and willing for him to visit and assumed you'd have other plans for a bank holiday weekend?

Also, as they were with others, it may well have been awkward for them to go off and do their own thing.

Sounds like you don't communicate well. Surely if he said, 'oh we're coming to London to the match' you would have said, 'oh let's meet for a coffee?'

It was his first ever visit, @RedSky, if it was a regular thing then I wouldn't be bothered by it. I know it's difficult to see people when you're in a group, hence not expecting it when they were here on Saturday - and because I assumed they were only down for that, I didn't chase up him being around for anything else. I sort of thought that if they were here for longer, then they'd ask. Clearly I shouldn't have done!

When DH and I got a house I said they should come stay as we had space - not happened yet.

Maybe they are waiting for you to invite them and suggest dates, rather than just mentioning the possibility in passing?

I didn't hear anything from them suggesting that we meet up, so guessed that I'd been right and they didn't have time

Again, did you invite them when you knew they'd be coming to London? Did you reply to say "Would you like to meet up when you're here?" or "Would you like to stay here?"

He probably thought the ball was in your court. Not everyone feels comfortable inviting themselves to someone's house. Maybe he is disappointed that you didn't invite him to meet up or stay with you.