To think I'm not the right friend for her?

[BrightonCalling]

I met a woman a year ago. She's 10 years older than me and is going through a really messy divorce and has two kids.

I try to be there for her (for example I offered to go with her for support to see her lawyer, she took me up on it, and just generally going for coffee, drinks, days out, normal stuff).

The problem is I dont think Im the right style of friend for her and I dont know what to do.

By nature I'm pretty solitary. Other than spending time with my DP, I can go a very long time just keeping myself busy with various projects and hobbies.

I have some very good and close friends, but we are similar in style: we wont speak for 2 or 3 weeks and then we'll have a proper catch up.

This woman is lovely but she texts me every day, sometimes just saying "Hi!", sometimes sending me links to stuff she wants to do, pretty normal stuff but its just I'm not used to that level of contact with my friends and I find it a bit intrusive (not her fault!), a bit like I'm being hounded.

The result is I dont bother replying, sometimes for days. It makes me feel really bad, especially as shes working through lots of emotional stuff lately - I dont want to add to making her feel like shit.

I introduced her to a male friend of mine and they started "dating". He also has this "problem" with her as he has a similar approach to me (aka me and him wont talk for 2 weeks, and then we'll be in touch to organise meeting up - we wont share details of our lives in between).

How can I handle this sensitively?

Pull back. You don’t have to have a friendship that feels like a drain on your time and emotional resources. If she asks, just tell her you don’t have time to talk every day.

Mention being an introvert and that you need time to recharge

Send her a link to this thread

I have a friend like that. Telling her to cut it down a bit didn't really work as she'd be back to her old ways in a week or two. Eventually I just muted her on Facebook (she mainly contacts me there) and reply at my convenience. She doesn't seem offended.

So... you have a friend who texts you a lot.

All the rest of your OP is you projecting.

OP just keep doing what you are doing and reply to her when you feel like it. Don't feel guilty about not responding to her schedule. It gets easier the more you do it. She'll soon get bored of constantly texting you if she's not getting an instant response
Stay out of it with her and your male friend though. It's up to him to deal with her texting to much if he doesn't like it.

But that is what friends do...for example in WhatsApp I have one friend who is forever sending links to YouTube videos that I have no interest in watching...and another who sends links to websites, and another who is sending messages and photos every day...

Im like you a quiet introverted person that likes my own space, but it doesn't hurt to send a message back saying hi...it's two letters and click send

What I do if it becomes too much is leave the messages until evening just before bed and reply and then mute your phone (if it's on WhatsApp)...or turn down your text notification setting....and if she replies straight away, leave them until the next evening, reply and mute...that way you are still in contact but you have control over it not eating into your whole day

If she's dating your friend, I don't think her getting in contact with him by text every day is a big deal really, and nothing to do with you anyway.
Just text her back when you can, she'll soon realise you don't want daily contact

Just text back and stay friendly but at your pace OP - not hers

She will either get it - or she won’t