supper time

[theDudesmummy]

We invited some close friends for supper (was to be a bbq for this lovely hot weather), we told them 7.30pm. They said no they would have to come earlier, that is too late, because their child is 12 and cannot eat so late (not a school night, a weekend night, tonight in fact).

We are both busy today, I am working at home and have a lot to do, DH is out and busy until about 6pm. We have childcare booked till 6pm, then we were planning to all wash and brush up and start to prepare the bbq, the food etc, ready for people to arrive at 7.30. DH told them that the invitation is for 7.30 and that is it, we cannot start earlier. So they said they are not coming. Are we unreasonable?

You are not unreasonable to host at whatever time suits you.

They are not unreasonable to say thats not suitable for them so they can’t come.

I don’t understand what the problem is...

I don't think anyone is being unreasonable. You are both sticking to what suits your routine or plan.

Are they the only guests, or are there others?

Surely if they're close friends you're aware that they're always like this about late nights? Are they always odd?

I have one DC who copes fabulously with a late night and one who wakes up possessed by demons the following day so in an ideal world I'd choose not to make them have too many late nights. One-offs, however, we've learned to deal with and work through. Is it possible one of their DCs is one of those demons who can't deal with late meals or late nights?

YANBU because your day is already planned out. They are possibly BU but also possibly not. Which doesn't help at all, really.

The time doesn’t suit them, earlier doesn’t suit you. The end.

They sound a bit uptight. A 12 year old's dinnertime should be more flexible!

They sound like a barrel of laughs. Perfectly reasonable of them to politely decline if the time doesn’t suit, just as you’re allowed to host at whatever time suits you. But making a fuss about a 12 year old’s bedtime as if they expect you to change your plans is ridiculous.

The time doesn’t suit them, earlier doesn’t suit you. The end.

This ^^ obviously

If they want to refuse then they're perfectly entitled, however it is a bit strange, the child is 12, not 2, and it's not a school night. I don't know anyone with kids that age (or younger) who would have such a strict routine on weekends or holidays etc.

Lucky escape for you methinks

calzone 😆

DH told them that the invitation is for 7.30 and that is it

I’m not sure why but in my head I headcthis is some angry Victorian dad voice being enacted, possibly with a phone being slammed down at the end (not that many people have corded phones like that anymore).

I’m sure it was far less dramatic.

That is not late for a 12 year old

No other guests. The strange thing is that in the past they have come and stayed pretty late. My DH does have a habit of serving food quite late, but not when kids are involved, obviously.

Thinking about it, I suppose it is easier to stay out late with a 5yo, who could just go and sleep on a bed when it gets later, than with a 12yo who would want to take part in the party and so probably stay up too late. So maybe that is what they are thinking about. But to make a fuss about being invited for 7.30 just seemed really odd to me, that is surely a normal time for people to be invited round? On a working day I will often not even be home by 7pm, so 7.30 seems a really early time to even be thinking about supper...

Well, I think whoever said that no-one is really being unreasonable is right, just horses for courses really...

MiddleClass you could not find someone less like a Victorian dad than my DH! And the whole exchange was by text message, no phones were slammed!