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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find constant requests for sponsorship tedious?

62 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 06/05/2018 13:38

I mean, they just seem never ending.

And of course it's great to raise money for charity, but if I donated a tenner every time someone I know does one of these requests, I'd be skint in no time.

Latest one is, a close friend of mine has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Some friends we have in common (we all know each other from uni although I'm not close with this particular group) have set up a sponsorship page to raise money for cancer by doing some run through some mud or something. Fair enough and I planned to chuck them a tenner nearer the time. But the demands for it are getting on my wick. 'THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONATED. IF YOU HAVE'NT, WHY NOT?! IT TAKES SECONDS. STEP OUTSIDE YOUR BUBBLE CANCER MIGHT COME FOR YOU ONE DAY!'

It might, but my tenner donation isn't going to change that or make my friend better is it so why make people feel shite about it?!

I sponsored a mate for doing the marathon recently- fair enough- but a month on and he's doing the moonwalk as well so the bombarding for donations has started all over again.

And don't get me started on the younger sister of a friend who is asking for donations to go out to Malawi on a gap year to 'help' build a school.

I am supporting my friend in other ways and I will sponsor but AIBU to think the constant donation and sponsor fishing is just bloody irritating?!

OP posts:

SneakyGremlins · 06/05/2018 13:41

I sponsor one thing per friend per year, I really can't afford more than that.

pasturesgreen · 06/05/2018 13:45

I only ever sponsor family. It's a bottomless pit otherwise, no matter how worthy the cause.

EnglishRose13 · 06/05/2018 13:46

It's never ending.

At work, people now bring in sponsor forms for their kids! They bring the forms to your desk and put you on the spot so you can't say no. I hate it!

TheOneWith · 06/05/2018 13:47

YANBU - especially about the passive aggressive “thanks to all my LOVELY friends who have donated, if you haven’t why not?”, always tempting to reply “fuck off Susan, you pay the £200 for your skydive and I might then sponsor you, but I’m not paying for you to tick something off your bucket list under the guise of doing it for charity”.

And don’t even get me started on all the Go Fund Me causes that aren’t even for a registered charity.

LovelySouffle · 06/05/2018 13:47

Don't then. HTH.

Original poster

HarrietKettleWasHere · 06/05/2018 13:50

Yes, a couple of years ago on here there was a thread absolutely RIPPING (rightfully so) into a woman who had set up a go-fund-me to enable her to a PHD, as her and her husband just got married and had a baby which had sapped their savings, but if she did the PHD she'd 'contribute valuable theories to society and provide a better life for my kids and a be a role model'

OP posts:

Gingertam · 06/05/2018 13:54

I sponsor people if I think it's a good cause, fortunately don't get asked constantly. EnglishRose - no way would I sponsor people who stood over my desk for their children. My adult children do stuff now but I wouldn't dream of asking people at work. Where does it end. Same as people who ask me to buy raffle tickets for their children's school. I don't mind saying no to people asking for their children. I think they've got a bloody cheek asking in the first place. A polite no thank you does work.

AddictedToTea · 06/05/2018 13:56

I hear you! My new rule is that I will only sponsor you the first time you do something. So, I’ll bung you a tenner for a 5/10k and £25 for the marathon/moonwalk but I’m not sponsoring you to do the same thing every year! I have a friend who did the marathon and moonwalk in one year (so got £50 off me!) then was surprised I didn’t rush to sponsor her the following year when she did the same thing! I like to be generous but I like to try and spread my money around different people/causes and there is only so much in the pot!

MrsLaurac · 06/05/2018 15:11

Oh i dont mind an occasional sponsorship but constant do you want to sponsor little daisy aged 3 for a walk around her nursery grounds to get new equipment, NO as a one off maybe but not all the bloody time.

user1486915549 · 06/05/2018 15:50

I just say no , and say I only support XX which is my chosen charity.
And funding building schools in Malawi etc I point out if they didn’t go to Malawi but donated their airfare the people in Malawi could employ a proper Malawian builder.
My nephew was trying to raise funds to go on some similar hare brained scheme. Vanity volunteering I think it’s called.

ValleyClouds · 06/05/2018 16:34

Katherine Ryan was amusing about this on Room 101 and also seemed to take swipe at men and their hobbies.

I don't mind this if I care about the person or the cause, but the constancy of it is tedious. Has lessened since I left Facebook.

Your thread title though immediately made me think of Sponsered Events at school

I absolutely dreaded them

My mother had a large family but all abroad, my father has one very aloof sister. Their friends were pretty much all parents of other kids from school who also needed sponsoring.

It was mortifying for others in my class to have endless Aunt Fanny and Uncle Bobs and we'd be casting about for anyone to ask.

I DREADED IT. Awful. Felt like begging - haven't done a single sponsored event as an adult

NewYearNewMe18 · 06/05/2018 16:36

STEP OUTSIDE YOUR BUBBLE CANCER MIGHT COME FOR YOU ONE DAY!'

This sort of crap is enough for me to cut loose a friendship.

I choose what charities I give my money too.

diamond702 · 06/05/2018 16:37

YANBU

I never sponsor people, unless it's close friend.

If I want to donate to charity I will, and it will be one of my choosing.

Creambun2 · 06/05/2018 16:38

Upper middle class kids begging for donations for a gap year to help in Africa (read piss about on a jolly, I'm sure people in extreme poverty are really grateful for tarquins time and help) really annoy me.

userabcname · 06/05/2018 16:45

Yanbu. I hate hate hate being hassled to give money to charity. I once had a colleague who asked for sponsorship pretty much every couple of months - as soon as he'd done one event it was on to the next. He started posting the, "can't believe some of my so-called friends won't support me" statuses and I deleted him immediately.

HappyFeet1212 · 06/05/2018 16:49

Completely agree with Creambun2.

Happily declined to have my bag packed in Waitrose by obnoxious little Saskia who thought I should pay for her to go & annoy poor African kids. I could only speculate that surely they had enough against them already without having stuck up, insensitive middle class kids 'helping them'.

Pick a charity every year & stick to that. you can't fund everything.

GlitterGlue · 06/05/2018 16:52

Absolutely. They can fuck off to the far side of fuck with their voluntourism.

Caribou58 · 06/05/2018 17:00

A friend taught me the following sentence to use in any situation like this, as appropriate:

Actually, that's not one of the charities/causes I'm supporting this year.

StopBeingNosey · 06/05/2018 17:04

I bloody hate so many of these sponsorships. I saw it summed up on here perfectly once - along the lines of ‘it’s like paying for someone to go to the pub, put their change in the charity tin and expect you to be grateful for it.’

myusernamewastakenbyme · 06/05/2018 17:04

There is a group of women i know who do some kind of event every year...the constant requests for sponsorship get really tedious....

crackerjackered · 06/05/2018 17:12

Yep. I'm sick of it too.

Sponsored weight loss, smoking and race for life.

Or do what lots of us do. Go on a diet and start doing parkrun 5ks quietly without the pestering.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 06/05/2018 17:14

I very very rarely sponsor anyone for anything - the exception would be someone I was close to raising money for a cause I felt equally passionately about.

I absolutely refuse point blank to sponsor anyone's 'experience' or holiday/trip (however arduous) in the name of charity.

Overthinkingagain · 06/05/2018 17:17

I used to donate to everything my mates n their kids were doing, couple of quid here n there, and never asked for sponsorship back as we have a big family so can generate dd's school fundraising from extended family.
My brother was doing a huge fund raise through his work and after sharing his page a couple of times not one of my friends donated a brass button, gave me a big wake up call and now I'm very selective with donations.

MagentaRocks · 06/05/2018 17:24

I don’t mind sponsoring people occasionally but I hate that you have to raise sponsorship to do something. So say you want to run a marathon, you want to do it for you as something you have achieved but you can only do it if you raise a certain amount of money for their charity. It has put me off doing things as I am not comfortable asking people for money.

ICantCopeAnymore · 06/05/2018 17:29

I don't sponsor people at all. No one helped me when I needed to fund a wheelchair, why should I donate my money when I can barely afford to eat, to someone who tries to make others feel guilty for not donating?

I choose who my money goes to. Being tagged in things like the ice bucket challenge, the no makeup challenge etc and then being told I've been tagged so I have to donate is like a red tag to me.

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