To ask parents to pay for themselves?

[DragonMummy1418]

For my DS's birthday party we are thinking of Booking him a party at a farm, obviously we'd pay for the children and each child can bring one adult free of charge but additional adults are £3.

Wibu to mention this on the invites and ask parents to pay for themselves if they are both coming?

There's also all the grandparents who would want to go (he has 8 including great grandparents so it would work out as quite an extra stamp on the bill)

You're inviting the child and one supervising adult under your costs. I think it's reasonable to say a second adult is £3. YANBU.

We are doing the same farm party soon, also £3 per extra adult. I'm only paying for invitee plus their responsible adult. Any other parents/siblings that invitee brings has to pay themselves. I have invited both my child's grandparents to join in party fun and I will pay for them myself as my guests. I couldn't charge family!!

I skim read. In that cause YANBU

A non issue. But you should pay for the grandparents or do something separate with them.

The party is 2 hours but then we all have access to the rest of the farm park for the rest of the day.
It's quite a large place including an indoor soft play and big outdoor playground as well as a few rides and lots of animals.

Paying for one adult per child is fine. Would you son's grandparents really want to come to a farm party? If they're invited and you want them there then you should pay.

I think entry for one parent is fine and what I'd expect tbh. I'd pop a note on that others are welcome for £3 entry.

I'd pay for your DC's grandparents though

I think it's fine as long as you are clear on the invitations.

I would be wary of inviting siblings, as I think you will have to cater for them.

I agee with just inviting friends and doing a family party at home.

Either pay in full or dull the numbers or go somewhere cheaper. It just looks tight and money saving to issue an invite and put the costs on the guest. Fine to say no siblings but I'd expect parents to be covered and we always provide adults with coffee and cake whilst the children eat as it's good manners to cater for guests.

Sounds like a brilliant day! And how lovely to have 8 great grandparents, lucky boy.

I had similar for DS birthday last year. Put it on invites. No issues. Why would you pay for everyone and their granny to have a day out!???

I think one adult free per child is fine. I’d just say extra adults and siblings are at x cost on the invites. This kind of party though I’d keep for just kids and do a separate gathering at home for family. We’ve been to a few of these and the kids run off to play and for adults it’s a lot of just sitting around. I don’t think it would be very enjoyable for grandparents and they will hardly get to see your ds. And it’s not worth the extra cost. Do cake and presents at home with them.

Your OP is perfectly reasonable. Definitely put it on invite! Ps. There'll be one family who rock up with all of them including other siblings in tow, so they need to know they pay for extra!

Except if you're inviting GP too, I'd pay their tickets if you want them to come. It changes dynamics a bit having more family there. A separate family afternoon & nibbles party is what we'd do for GP.

DS's age here is key over expectations (i.e
of one parent or no parents to accompany) as parents often just drop off/pick up for parties after age 7-9, so you do want enough adults!
I found at farm parties (mine & others) that there is often a child who becomes scared of eg.. tractor ride or the baby goats as they jostle.. .

I think its perfectly reasonable. As long as you make it clear on the invites

Ah cross posted with your update OP. Sorry, didn't refresh thread before posting.

I see you've said the age and decided what to do. Sounds like he'll have a fab party xx

I hate these partys where the whole bloody family turns up so much better to do something where parents can drop off then leave or sit with a cuppa. Having to partake in someone else childs birthday party is hellish spending my day off with loads of random people I hardly know is crap.

Why not do the farm with family only.

I agree with you OP, it's fine to say one adult per child, although if you're inviting several siblings, many of the parents will both be able to come. If that doesn't leave very many, I'd pay for the other parent for the rest too.

For the Garndparents ad Great Grandparents, I'd do a tea party at home another time.

The bigger question IMO is refreshments. What happening about food and drink, surely that's not included in the £3?

It does sound like you're expecting far more people than is sensible for a 4yo's party,

@Anditstartsagain
Yes, that was my initial thoughts too when a party like this is half wider family & half nursery friends...! Although they'd (invited parents & children) still have the rest of the day to go off and enjoy facilities without GP/OP's family. ... And dometimes it's nice to get to know others GPs if they mix in....

Why should you pay for extra adults? There's no need for people to bring their whole family and if they do they pay for themselves!

We had a party invite last year to a farm place with the same policy. DH wanted to come so we could stay after party and make the most of it. So he came and paid for himself. I would never be so rude as to expect extras to be paid for by the host.

People saying you should pay for these extras are bonkers!

We did think about having a separate small family gathering but my side of the family and DH's side of the family do not get on at all, they managed to get into arguments and ruin past events so I thought having them all there around a lot of other people might keep things calm. 😬

You’re inviting and paying for siblings. That’s generous and unnecessary unless you know there are single parents with little cash, who can’t get childcare. Better to use that money to pay for your family. One adult per child is perfectly reasonable.

YANBU - sounds like a great idea. When our DC was that age only one of us went to the parties (usually me as I am much better at small talk!) Putting it on the invites is polite and then no awkwardness as people arrive. Have a great time!

I'd keep the great gp away from the party. Maybe do something cake & tea for them after the party and they can see LO open his gifts.

But it's fine to say on invites child to bring a parent (additional adults & siblings need to be paid for £3).

I agree that a separate get to getter it gp's would be best.

You've said siblings are included and also one adult per child if I've understood correctly? In that case isn't it possible that you'll get some entire families showing up expecting to be paid for?

I wouldn’t even mention the £3 thing. Just say that the invite includes one parent/guardian. If anyone asks, then you can tell them there’s an extra cost.